Starting 2010 with the Plague

I had all of these fantastic plans for New Year's Eve, New Year's Day; goals to work on in January and even try to get back to my regular posting schedule here. And you know what happened? Since the night of December 29th, I've been fighting a slow death from every germ possible. The flu, a sinus infection, pink-eye (which the boys had too), an upper-respiratory infection, an ear infection, exacerbation of my asthma and a sore throat with lymph-nodes bigger than Texas. For days I lost my sense of smell and taste. Basically, it feels like I had the Plague.

The worst of it happened around the end of December. I missed a New Year's Eve party that I had been looking forward to. I stayed home and attempted recovery before Bill left on a business trip. I slowly got better, taking two steps forward only to take two steps back the next day. It's been relentless. When Bill was in Vegas for a convention, I held down the fort and pretended that I was healthy. It's like trying to type with a few fingers missing. Sure, you can do it, but it's definitely "off".

I keep thinking I'm in the clear and that the next day is going to be better. I am SO BEHIND in my work, unable to eat at restaurants for reviews, too sick to get advertising contracts renewed, and so forth. It's been rough being a work-at-home mom being the only person who takes care of business and kids while sick. There is nobody to call to take over. Nobody to cover a shift, no sub to come and take care of the kids. Just keep on keepin' on. Which is why I'm probably still a little sick.

So, the end of year review that I write on the 30th of December or the 1st of January? Yeah, that's getting published mid-month. I just hope I get caught up before Logan's birthday at the end of the month!

Everyone's getting it now

Remember when swine flu was this horrible disease from Mexico that was hyped up so much, claiming that people were dying left and right? Remember how schools closed down and there was talk about closing International borders? Remember when people were freaking out about getting a vaccination readily available? Yeah, I remember all of that too. Craziness.

Now, months later, I've known a handful of people who've had H1N1 (as it's now referred as rather than swine flu). Nobody has died. And while it's crappy to be sick with the flu, everyone recovered as quickly as they would with the seasonal flu. Last week Bill and I were talking about the propaganda that goes with new diseases - avian flu, SARS - remember when everyone in China were wearing surgical masks everywhere they went and now, years later, it's nothing but a "remember that" moment? H1N1 will be the same way.

At this very moment, we're getting the round of flu throughout the house. It started with both Bill and Carter. Bill woke up yesterday feeling like crap and said that he thought he was getting the flu. Carter woke up a total grump. He didn't have a fever, so I thought it was teething. After two doses of Tylenol and him still crying non-stop (from 7am to 11:30am), I figured something was wrong. After a few hours, he got a low-grade fever and only wanted to be held. Then he got that glazed look in his eyes that made me think he was going to blow chunks at any moment. But he never did. THANK GOD.

He was listless and lethargic for the day. Bill was getting worse too and needed me to pick him up early from work. All day today they've been recovering, but Carter was quick to spring back. He woke up fine, no fever, nothing. Just like his old self again (maybe still a little clingy). Which is good because his Doctor wanted him to come in to get treated with Tamiflu if we thought he had H1N1 (which is a scary medicine, let me tell you). Bill still has a fever and is shoving Kleenex up his nose to stop it from running. He's having a harder time recovering.

Both of them have the seasonal flu, but H1N1 is making it's way around town, around preschool, around daycare, around the gym, around MOMS Club, around every where we go.

Logan and I have been spared so far. I've been snapping at Logan to keep things out of his mouth, to keep his hands away from his face, to wash his hands - pretty much being a germaphobe. I've been sleeping with Logan since Bill still has a fever. I'm not going to do anything to increase my chances of catching crap - so I'll bunk with the 3 1/2 year old. I really do hope it ends with Bill and Carter.

Wishful thinking, I suppose.

Breathing is important, you know.

About three weeks ago our town woke up to smoke filled skies. Visibility was very low, you couldn't see the mountains and really, it was just gross. Apparently, there was something going on with the weather (I don't remember exactly what), but it made the smoke from the California fires, fires in other states and fires in Colorado, all settle into our valley. Nasty.

I had a difficult time breathing, my throat burning and my nose running. I asked Bill if he felt that way, and when he didn't, I thought I was getting a cold. The air in our town cleared up over Labor Day weekend when the wind blew it away (for lack of a better explanation) and the skies were bright and pretty again. My lungs and body were still suffering though.

For weeks I coughed and coughed. It was annoying and it just wouldn't let up. Over the weekend I had to take Logan to the Doctor because he's been coughing too and Sunday morning he woke up crying hysterically because his ear hurt. Another ear infection for the poor kid. At his appointment, the Doctor listened to his lungs and said that we should keep an eye on his breathing because it sounded like he had asthma (something I've been talking to our regular Pediatrician about for a little while). The Doctor asked about our family history and asthma - which is all over the place (again, we passed on crappy genetics). Logan will probably have to have asthma treatments in the next year or so if it doesn't get worse now. And every time he gets sick, it will trigger his asthma. Grrrreeeeaaaat.

And then it hit me. All of this coughing I've been doing? It wasn't a cold. It was asthma. I was diagnosed way back in high school but never kept up with an inhaler. It wasn't bad enough. But with the smoke, the pollen and all of the crud in our air - I was struggling. That night I had a massive coughing fit for half an hour that made me get out of bed so I didn't wake up Bill. That's when I did a google search on asthma and decided that I needed to go to the Doctor for myself.

The next day I could hardly breath. Evey time I talked or even attempted a conversation, I began coughing and struggling to catch my breath. It was getting worse. I haven't been seen by a Doctor other than my OB in YEARS, so I had to find a General Practitioner and now. It wasn't an emergency, but it was bad enough to be very concerned. I got a recommendation from one of the moms in MOMS Club and made an appointment to be seen in a few short hours.

After being hooked up to a nebulizer, I was prescribed three different medications - One rescue inhaler to use every 4 hours or when I can't breath, another inhaler to use twice a day and Singulair to take at night. The good news is that I only have to take these medications for a month and not the rest of my life. Hopefully I'll be able to get back to where I was before the air quality changed and my lung health spiraled out of control. The bonus from the visit was that the Doctor asked for my business card so she could send one of her patients to me for a personal training evaluation (this made me laugh. And cough).

So, with inhalers in hand - I'm on my way to better breathing and not suffocating in front of my kids.

The most entertaining injury of the ER

Last night Bill came home from work and we started our early evening routines. He mowed the lawn, Logan picked at his dinner and I wrangled Carter. After Bill had finished the lawn, we hung out on the back deck for a little while and let the kids run around to burn off some energy.

We were talking about the sliding screen door and how it needed to be replaced. Buddha had scratched some holes in it earlier this year (last year?) and now that he wasn't there to scratch anymore, replacing the screen made sense. Bill remembered that we had an extra screen in the garage and he went to grab it while I stayed in the back yard with the boys.

The kids were laughing and playing and all of a sudden, my ears perked up a bit. I heard a faint yell. It was Bill yelling my name. I just figured he needed my help with something, so I left the kids in the back yard and went into the garage.

Clearly distressed, Bill told me that he was stuck. It didn't quite click with me until he reiterated but with more detail that he was stuck, foot impaled on the corner of the dog kennel. He had used a two-step stool to grab the screen from the top shelf, lost his balance and stepped back with all of his weight on his right foot. He stepped right on top of a blunt hook on the kennel and it went all the way into his foot. He was stuck.


Taking a deep breath, I ran back inside to grab the kids and put them in the living room where they would be safe. I came back out into the garage and dialed 9-1-1 knowing somebody would have to come and cut him out of the wire. The whole time I tried to stay calm while I heard the kids crying in the house and Bill writhing in pain. He tried to first pull the hook out while I urged him not to. He then tried to take apart the side walls of the kennel to reduce the pressure on his foot, but it was caught on a corner. He breathed heavily in a cold sweat and was turning pale while a pool of blood collected underneath his foot.

After the call for an ambulance, I ran next door to one of our neighbors houses and asked if they could watch the boys while I went to the ER with Bill. They were really nice about it and were super helpful. Soon the fire department arrived in a big fire truck and three EMT's came to Bill's rescue. While they were cutting him out, a few more EMT's arrived with the ambulance. They were cutting Bill out, putting him on oxygen and giving him heavy doses of pain medication (where he almost passed out) and I got Carter to bed and coordinated with our neighbor about taking care of Logan. Neighbors I have never met offered to help, which was really nice. All of the neighbors in our cul-du-sac were in their front yards watching as Bill was wheeled on the gurney and loaded up in the ambulance with his foot wrapped up to support the TV antenna-like rods that were protruding from his bandage. I drove the car and followed close behind on our way to the ER.


We arrived in the ER on a very busy night. We were one of the lucky few to get a bed at the time we came in. With Bill's foot wrapped up securely, he was hooked up to an IV and was given doses of fentanyl. The drugs worked for a short time and wore off quickly, resulting in a roller coaster of pain for him. He was constantly asking for more medication between joking around with the nurses. He was the model patient with a rusty metal hook lodged up in his foot and we thought his smart ass demeanor probably made the staff think he wasn't in that much pain.


After being there for hours (three or four), getting x-rays and taking pictures of his injury, a Doctor finally came in to take a look at it. He wiggled the metal pieces around and Bill begged for more medication. He actually had asked for it before the Doctor took off the bandage but was ignored (and that really made him mad, understandably). He was given morphine and his foot was shot up with lidocaine. The Doctor came back and messed around with it some more to see if he could pull it out. Unfortunately, he thought it was stuck on tendons or ligaments and it needed to be surgically removed.


The first Doctor sent in another Doctor, the OR Doctor, who was a bit more aggressive and pretty much twisted and ripped the hook out of Bill's foot. On on hand, saving us hours and massive amounts of hospital Bills and on the other hand, risking more internal damage. I asked about about possible damage and the Doctor just kind of shrugged and asked Bill if he could move his toes. He could and we were told that because of the lidocaine, it was difficult to tell what kind of damage was done. Either way, Bill was relieved to finally have it out of his foot and on the road to getting out.


The next step was a tentaus shot, getting pumped full of antibiotics and a detailed irrigation of the puncture wound. The staff helping Bill out were really friendly and chatting us up. In some ways, it was kind of awkward that we were so jovial when there were people next to us in the same ER room waiting for results of their child's CAT scan, possibly getting the news that he had cancer. On the other side there was a student who had mono and down the hall, a crazy person who was off their meds and needed to be sedated before going to the psych ward.

Bill's injury was the highlight of the night in the ER mostly because it was an amazing story with a happy ending. Nurses and staff from all around came in to take a look at his foot before the hook was removed and after. Everyone was passing the x-rays around in amazement. It was a shocking injury because the hook was so blunt and rounded. A spoon was sharper than this! The first Doctor was equally entertained and told us stories of other random foreign objects he's had to remove (you don't want to know...)

They left the puncture wound open and wrapped his foot up in bandages, giving us discharge instructions to watch for infection and to follow up in about 10 days. We are SO LUCKY that it was just Bill's foot and not a different body part, like his leg, torso or head. Those could have been deadly. For now, Bill is loaded up on vicodin and hobbling around the house on crutches. Miserable, but alive and healing.

Leaky ears

Last Wednesday Carter got pretty sick. He was boogery, lethargic and had a decent fever. All he wanted to do was cuddle and sleep. He was feeling better the next day, but was still a bit cruddy and even though he was even better by Friday, I thought he might have an ear infection since he was showing signs, like poking at his ear, fussiness and even a bit of drainage coming out.

So, Friday afternoon we went to see our pediatrician who took a look at his ears and said they looked great. Totally clear. With a sigh of relief, we left and continued with our weekend plans as usual. Bill was also leaving for a business trip on Monday morning, so it was nice to know that even though Carter had a cold, that was it. Nothing worse. I could deal with a baby and a cold by myself.

The weekend went great and Carter seemed fine. He did continue to have ear leakage, mostly happening when he woke up from naps or sleep. It wasn't too alarming and after consulting Dr. Google, these were clear signs that he did have an ear infection. The leakage was from a hole in his ear drum that relieved the pressure and would help Carter feel better. Things should clear up on their own.

But they didn't.

On Monday morning when we dropped Bill off at the airport, I got Carter out of his car seat to give his Dad a hug good-bye. His right ear had leaked all over his shoulder and his ear was crusty with yellow wax. It was a bit much. We drove home and I cleaned him up. Then he woke up form his afternoon nap and goop was literally pouring out of his ear and onto his shirt. So I called the advice nurse who told us to see the Doctor. In between the appointment and the phone call, I had been following Carter around with a tissue to dab the drainage from his ear so it wouldn't get everywhere. It was that bad.

We went in as the last appointment of the day because that's the only time they had for us. We saw one of the Physicians Assistants who used to see Logan when he was a baby during all of his allergy testing appointments and vaccination issues. I hadn't seen her in a few years since she pushed vaccinations so hard and didn't really listen to my concerns, and that's when we started seeing our pediatrician only.

Anyway, she came in surprised to see us and met Carter, who was all smiles. She took his temperature and he did have a slight fever again. She looked at his ear and couldn't see anything because it was full of crud. She cleared it out by digging in there with a knitting needle-type tool and pulled out gobs of yellow goo. His ear was red, swollen and she couldn't even see the ear drum. He had a pretty nasty ear infection.

Well. Just what I thought days prior, but now it was worse, not clearing up on it's own and he needed antibiotics.

So, Carter's first ear infection and medication. His ear is a little better today, not leaking nearly as much, but still crusty when he wakes up. We're supposed to go back in a few weeks to double check and make sure everything is healing well and probably check his hearing as well. I hope it's fine!

So far, it hasn't been too much to deal with on my own and I'm so glad it's not worse!

Hazards of the job

When I started doing restaurant reviews for our city, I figured that at some point I would get food poisoning. It just goes along with the territory, I suppose. I did end up getting food poisoning from last nights' dinner, but it wasn't from a restaurant that I was reviewing. It was from the deli at our brand new organic farmers market that just opened up.

So, I've had to cancel my training sessions and became couch-bound all day. Logan was a big help in keeping Carter entertained and made me laugh a little despite my loss of dinner and appetite. I was trying to explain food poisoning to him and why I was sick. He told me that I should go to the Doctor. Then not too much later than that, he saw a commercial for Zantac. He turned to me and with a straight face said, "You need to take the blue pills". I guess so...

I'm glad I didn't get anything serious, and I'm on the mend. I should be better for tomorrow when I'm set to review a bakery in town. I'd be pissed if I was still sick and couldn't eat a cupcake.

Road to recovery

Knock on wood, but I think we're getting better and this weekend we will be back in action. Carter is no longer coughing and only has a runny nose. Logan threw up late last night, but is fine today, eating meals, even if they are small. I'm no longer nauseous every minute of the day and only feel gross for short periods of time. With a little more rest, we should be good.

It's been a long time - 2 full weeks of varied illnesses. I hope this is it for a long time.

Along with our appetites and energy, my milk supply has suffered. The first day I was sick, I was unable to nurse Carter for a solid 24 hours. We had no choice but to bottle-feed because I was throwing up every 15-30 minutes. I was also very dehydrated and it took a few days to get back on track. Building the supply back up again is more difficult this time because Carter is now a distracted nurser, unlatching to look around after only being on for a millisecond. Sometimes he gets frustrated and bites. So, we are supplementing for now and still working on building back up. I hope this doesn't mean bye-bye to breastfeeding forever.

Back from the (almost) dead

Sometimes we just can't catch a break. It's always something or one thing after another. The kids had been sick for a week or more, Logan a simple double-ear infection and Carter more serious to where we thought he might have pneumonia. We started to feel a bit better, although Carter was still throwing up about once a day due to coughing and drainage.

Early this morning, Logan woke up and threw up. On the drive to take Bill to work, he did not look good at all. On the drive home I had to pull over to let him be sick on the side of the road. Great.... Here we go again.

We got home and snuggled on the couch, Logan being able to make it to the bathroom to be sick most of the time rather than being sick on himself. Not too much later, I took a turn for the worst and was right there with him, rotating bathroom time. Right around lunch time, I was ill. Very ill. I was too weak to take care of the kids and didn't feel like I could safely carry Carter upstairs to change his diaper and clothes. I called Bill to come home. I had the car, so he had to figure out a way to get here quickly. Knowing this, I called one of my clients who had a canceled session to see if she would help me out. At this point it was scary. I couldn't take care of the boys and Carter needed to eat. I was too sick to nurse him. I was dizzy, my hands and wrists were going numb and I couldn't stand up straight. I was concerned enough that I called the advice nurse with the kids' Doctors office to ask them about swine flu and if there was anything we needed to do.

I had barely enough formula to make Carter a bottle and soon after that, Bill was home. He took over while I went upstairs and practically had a near-death experience. I stupidly never took my temperature and in retrospect, it was probably dangerously high as I was in and out of consciousness. I was severely dehydrated and couldn't keep any liquids down - no water, no juice, no Popsicles, nothing. It was as if I was living the wost days of hyperemisis all over again. And living through that twice with both pregnancies, I felt like this is the only reason why I was able to tough out this flu. One day compared to 18 months is a cake-walk. I think other people would have called Uncle long before.

I was so sick that I missed the call from the advice nurse and we were fortunate that the boys fared well. Carter wasn't even sick, laughing and playing, coughing occasionally. Logan only threw up a few times - a very mild case of the flu. I was the one on death's door. I don't think we had the swine flu, but definitely wanted to call and get some advice, just in case. I'll call back tomorrow even though we're recovering well.

After a few hours of battling flu-death, I was able to come back to life and work on getting rehydrated again. I'm sure Bill will be able to go back to work in the morning and we'll just lay low for a few days.

I've had enough of being sick for a while.

Close call

Over the weekend I kept a close eye on Carter, obsessively checking his temperature. We were lucky that his fever never returned and that he was left with an extremely boogery nose and a wicked cough. He had stopped throwing up from coughing so hard and by this morning, he stopped crying from the pain his coughing spells caused him. As of this morning, he is better and we don't have to get him in for a chest x-ray.

This last week was hard on me (as it was on the kids). I swear to God, I found a handful of gray hairs that were not there before. I was so worried that I'm sure it shaved a few years off of my life. I also cried so much that I should have purchased stock in waterproof mascara.

It's a scary time when your kids get sick, but it's even more worrisome for us because of our decision not to vaccinate. Every runny nose can possibly become meningitis, every cough could worsen and become pertussis and every cold could be pneumoccous. After this last week, I feel like we got a taste of what could happen if my kids contracted a vaccine-preventable disease. I know what it's like to be on both ends of the spectrum now - both with adverse vaccination reactions and dealing with disease.

I would not change anything and our decision remains the same.

I've thought long and hard about this, believe me. The moment our pediatrician recommended specific testing because Carter is not vaccinated, I really began to weigh both sides again. However, as scary as this last week has been - it does not even compare to how I felt during Logan's adverse reactions and here's why...

First, with Carter there was a plan. There was testing being done to figure out what we were dealing with so we could develop the best treatment plan. There was a treatment plan for whatever disease we were facing be it a cold, RSV or pneumonia. There was something we could do. Yes, it was miserable. Yes, we had to do more testing than those who vaccinate. But there were options.

With Logan's adverse reactions there was nothing we could do to stop it. We could give him Motrin, Tylenol, Benadryl and worst case - steroids. There was no treating the problem, only the symptoms. We were at the mercy of whatever was causing an adverse reaction because nobody knows why it happens and what exactly happens. It's a very helpless situation.

I still stand by my decision for our family. After Carter's 6 month check-up and vaccinations were brought up again, I was sent home to think about it. I was this close to taking him in to start a single dose - selective plan and then I got a call from my sister, R about how Cousin G had an adverse reaction (to most likely rotavirus) at his 4 month check-up that sent him to the ER - where they could do nothing but medicate him with over-the-counter medications. That sealed the deal right there for me. Not only has Logan had more than one adverse reaction, now another baby in our family has had one. The odds are a little alarming and I would really be playing Russian Roulette with Carter's health if we had gone through with it.

In our family, the risks are there on both sides. It really is a no-win situation and every conversation I have with our pediatrician at check-ups regarding the possible fatality of a scenario is absolutely real. We are at risk of adverse reactions and we are at risk of contracting diseases. Each choice is a roll of the dice.

It hurt me more than it did him

Yesterday afternoon, Carter's fever started to spike again to about 101. When we first went in to get the boys checked out on Monday, I had been told by the nurse that if Carter's fever wasn't going back down by Friday then we needed to come back in. I gave Carter another dose of Tylenol and called to get him scheduled for the next morning.

This morning while I got Carter ready to go, he seemed pretty good. A little boogery and still congested, but not lethargic and miserable like he had been. I almost contemplated canceling his appointment, but thought it would be best to still go - just in case. Bill had already taken a vacation day since he will be busy all weekend at a tournament, so he and Logan hung back at the house to play.

We got there and our pediatrician checked him out instead of a nurse. She got the rundown of what went on all week after our appointment on Monday. I told her that I thought he might have an ear infection since he had been pulling at it. I guess he had a slight fever this morning while at the office (I didn't ask how high and nobody told me. I didn't even think of it at the time) and while she watched and listened to him breath the muscles on his back pulled tight, tight enough that his ribs became more defined. This was not a good sign.

"This isn't supposed to happen," she told me. She didn't seem overly concerned, like it was an emergency, but we had to do some tests. "It could be a few things and we need to narrow it down so we can find the best treatment plan. He could have RSV as it's still the tail end of the season. It could be a viral infection or it could be Pneumonia." I stood there staring at her with a straight face as my heart dropped into my stomach.

"We need to get him to the lab and get a nose collection done for the RSV test and then we need to do some blood work and check his white blood cells," she explained. She then went on about how we could give him antibiotics, but she doesn't feel comfortable treating patients without knowing the cause of the infection (this is one reason why I like her). Everything sounded simple enough and I took a deep breath as we got ready to head on over to the lab. My hopes for an ear infection now turned into hopes of RSV -which would be the easier infection to manage.

After a short wait in the waiting room, we were escorted into one of the back office rooms where two clinicians were decked out in blue paper gowns, safety goggles, gloves and face masks. I was a little taken aback as it looked like they were going to do surgery on my baby. The shorter, sweet girl explained what they were about to do while a taller younger guy stood back to assist her. Her explanation was invasive. "What test would you like us to do first?", she asked me. "I have no idea. You guys are the professionals. Whatever you think is best." I replied.

They decided to do the blood draw first. I sat in the phlebotomy chair with Carter in my lap. They strapped a rubber band around his small, chubby arm and worked very hard to find a vein. He cried and cried and cried. I tried my best to keep it together, to stay calm, stroke his hair reassuring him that it would be OK. After sanitizing his arm, the girl inserted the needle in Carter's arm. He screamed a hoarse, painful scream. Tears streamed down my face, wetting the top of his hair. "Are you OK, Mom?", the sweet nurse asked me. "Yeah," I lied. His vein wasn't giving them any blood and she dug around to get the sample they needed. Carter continued to cry, grasping for my hair to hold onto and I continued to sniffle and attempt to comfort him.

They decided to go to Plan B because they weren't getting any blood. Another nurse was brought in to see if she could find his vein on the other arm while the younger tall guy left. After much effort, she announced that she didn't feel comfortable and to call in another nurse. While waiting for this person, they decided to go ahead and get the sample collected from his nose.

I hugged him and cuddled him close to calm him down, his head resting on my shoulder in the crook of my neck and his sore little arm draped around my chest. I rubbed his back and rocked him back and forth telling him that it was OK. He had never hugged me so close before, usually too interested in all that is going on around him. But this time, this time he didn't want to know any more and preferred to stay in my arms.

After calming him down, I placed him on the exam table where the short, sweet nurse did the collection, the second taller replacement nurse held onto his head and I held his arms and legs down. He cried more, but this time was so exhausted that he didn't fight it. He just cried. While he cried, I turned my head to silently cry on my arm. The nurses were trying their best to comfort him, speaking softly and apologizing for all that he had to go through. Fortunately, this was an easy collection and very short lived.

I picked him up again to cuddle while we waited for the fourth nurse to come in. The short, sweet nurse left to work with another young boy about Logan's age, maybe a year older. The fourth nurse came in and we sat in the chair again while she looked for the vein in his other arm. They searched for quite some time, all the while Carter crying. The fourth nurse was very confident and quickly got the needle inserted as soon as she found the vein again after sanitizing his arm. He cried his hoarse, painful scream again - a scream a mother can feel in the core of her body and I continued to stroke his tear-stained hair telling him it was OK. For some reason, the blood was running slow and it was taking forever to get the sample. While Carter wailed on my lap, shrill, excruciating screams of intense pain came from the boy Logan's age in the next room. "Oh my God," I quietly gasped with my hand over my mouth as tears ran down my cheek.

After a few more minutes, the confident nurse thought that they collected the absolute minimum needed for testing and hoped for the best as she removed the needle from Carter's arm. They taped his puncture and I soothed him again. Both of his arms were sore - the left already bruising; his face red, spotty and blotchy from crying so hard and his body drained of all energy. It was finally over with and I just held him tight. "Are you OK, Mom?" one of the nurses asked me again. "Sort of," I replied more honestly as tears welled up in my eyes again.

The nurses began to clean up the room while I comforted Carter and got him strapped into his car seat. I thanked them, apologizing for crying. They were nice and hoped that Carter felt better soon.

On the drive home, Carter fell asleep, completely worn out. I pulled into the garage trying my best to keep everything in. I carefully took the seat out of the car, walked in the house and without saying much to Bill, walked right upstairs into our room and sobbed. The fear that Carter could be seriously ill, the trauma from seeing him in so much pain at the lab - it all came spilling out.

We got settled in at home and tried to recover while we waited for the call from our pediatrician. All of us were able to take much needed naps. The Doctor called with the results right in the middle of our deep slumber.

"The RSV is negative and his blood work came back fine. He must have some virus. Let's wait it out 24 hours and see what happens. If he has another spike in his fever or if he gets worse clinically - not eating, throwing up, difficulty breathing - bring him in. If he's not better by Monday, our next step is a chest x-ray."

I tried to go back to sleep after the call while Bill got ready to go to the course to practice. I got a bit more in before the kids woke up. Carter smiled as if nothing had happened, his bruised, taped arms reaching out for me to cuddle him. While Bill was gone, Carter smiled and played and coughed and sniffled. He seemed to be doing somewhat better and I obsessively took his temperate every half hour. It was normal.

I think he'll be OK. I think we just have to ride it out.

I hate this part of Motherhood

Nobody likes it when their kids are sick, especially their babies. This is one of the worst parts of being a parent because you feel so helpless and hate to see your kids miserable and suffering. You always want to be able to fix it for them and make everything A-OK.

Logan has recovered just fine. In fact, the next day after our appointment, he was running around outside, playing in the sandbox and playing "whack-a-mole" with the yellow jackets that are emerging from under our back deck. Other than being a little cranky every now and then which is easily resolved with a nap - he's fine.

Carter on the other hand, wow - he's having a hard time. I can't really tell yet if this is just how he is when he's sick or if he's really that miserable. On one hand I want to chalk it up to the innate beginnings of The Man Cold, but the kid is just not right. My mommy gut is telling me that his whimpers and sad looks are real. He is sick, sick, sick. He sleeps A TON right now, which is exactly what he needs to do. But he's only up for 30 minute increments before he goes back down to sleep for 1-2 hour stretches.
He's nursing fine, eating a bit and diaper changes seem normal - he's just extremely lethargic and he has snot pouring out of his nose like a faucet. I am constantly getting the boogers out and washing his nose out with saline spray. He has a fever that comes and goes and is pretty mild. Sometimes he'll grab at his ear. I'm not one to pump my kids full of medicine, but Carter has had more Tylenol this week than I'm sure Logan ever has in his 3 years. And he needs it. I went ahead and called the clinic to get him in tomorrow morning because he's not getting any better.

I hope this is just how he is when he's not feeling well and it's nothing more than a cold. I hope, I hope, I hope.

I thought I could make him smile by trying out the swing on a nice night after dinner. Guess not. He just slouched there and looked so sad.

At least he can tell me

Over the weekend, both boys got colds. Logan got his first and being the ever-obedient child that he is, when we told him to leave Carter alone, he promptly went over to breath in his face and grope his hands. It didn't take long for Carter to catch the crud.

It seemed to hit a peak for Logan on Sunday and he was complaining about his ears. When I called the clinic, they were closed. We had to wait until today to go. I made an appointment for Carter to get checked out even though all he had was a really bad cough. Shortly after I scheduled the appointment, Carter went downhill, spiking a fever of 102 and not feeling well AT ALL. Logan seemed to be doing better than Sunday, but was still complaining about his ears.

We got in this afternoon and both boys are sick. Logan has a double ear infection (his first), sinus congestion and a small cough all tied together with a low-grade fever. Carter had a higher fever, worse congestion and a horrible cough, but at least his ears were clear. So, we're on lock down this week until everyone is fever-free for 24 hours. Logan will be on antibiotics for 10 days and both of them will be on a timely regimen of Tylenol.

Bleh.

Although having sick kids sucks (say that one 10 times fast), it was great that Logan could actually tell me he was sick and his ears hurt. It took the guesswork right out of it! Loved it! He was a great patient too, doing as the nurses asked - breathing in and out so they could listen to his lungs and describing the pain in his ears. Ahhhh, communication. Such a wonderful skill.

Hopefully we'll be on the mend soon.

The Land of Gross

This time of year is absolutely horrible for our town right now; the germs are making their way around offices, playgroups and homes. People have been out sick for weeks and not from just one virus or infection, but many. One after the other. It's nasty!

A few weeks ago we had a head cold make the rounds in our home. I got over it just before photographer friend's baby shower (thank God). Things were pretty good for a little bit, but then Logan started coughing something fierce. We thought it was allergies because he was breaking out with eczema in places that he had never been itchy before. It made sense too with all of the warmer spring-like weather, the trees starting to bud and all of that business. But, his cough lasted for a while and what do you know. Now I have it. I think I have an upper respiratory infection because it burns to breath (but not that bad that I feel like I need to see a Doctor). I hope this is just another bad cold or something like that.

All of our friends have been sick with something or another. The flu, colds, rotavirus, RSV and the adenoid virus (I've never even heard of this one before until now). We've been lucky in our house that nothing serious has hit us and most of all, Carter has been pretty healthy (just a little runny nose, but nothing bad). All of these infections are really making me think though, because Carter is 6 months old today and ready to go to the gym daycare. Germ central.

After Carter's Raynaud's disease visit, I was pretty adamant that he wouldn't be getting vaccinated since he has an autoimmune disorder and that (in addition to our vaccine history) increases the chances that he'll have an adverse reaction to something. On the other hand, I know that if Carter goes to gym daycare for a few hours while I workout, he's bound to get something. A while back they evacuated and closed down the daycare because one of the kids showed up with a staph infection (a really common infection in gyms anyway). I'm really starting to get a bit worried because of the infections that have already been spreading. This is one REALLY bad year. And to top it off, I saw a news story about how the flu in our state is particularly bad (4 kids have died making it the worst season in 5 years).

It's hard to separate the propaganda from the reality and make informed decisions right now. Add the fact that we have a germy preschooler who plays in the dirt, picks his nose and other activities that make his hands disgusting (and we wash hands often). He also LOVES to hold Carter's hands and get him his face, despite me telling him not to. I think he hears differently and does it more rather than less.

I have a bit of thinking to do over here...

What's new on the home front

After winning the battle against the virus, Logan is feeling better, although still coughing something nasty and will probably do so for a few more weeks. Bill had the flu over the last week and is back to work this morning. Carter has some sinus congestion that makes it difficult for him to breath at night, which scares the crap out of me and I don't sleep well because I'm trying to listen to him all night to make sure he's OK. He's been sleeping upright in his bouncer right under our humidifier and I've been doing some sinus pressure/massage on him as much as I can. Before he got this crud, I discovered that his left eye had a blocked tear duct so the tear duct massage and sinus massage go hand in hand. As far as I can tell, his tear duct is open as of this morning. Hopefully, his sinuses will follow suit.

Now that Halloween is over and we have a truck load of candy and our November activity schedule is a little light, I've decided to wage the war on potty training. Logan put up a fight to wear his underwear this morning, telling me that he only wanted to wear diapers. I told him that we were all out and he had to wear underwear. He then opened his closet door and pointed to the diaper stash. "Look! There they are! Diapers!". He's a tough one to trick. I pulled out all of his underwear and he felt better about picking out a pair (stripes, not Cars like I thought he would have wanted). So far so good.

We've been talking about his Potty Party all morning. If he is successful in potty training (or rather, when) he will get a HUGE Potty Party. We'll get balloons, chocolate ice cream, candy, toys (the General Lee car that's been sitting on the mantle for months, The King and Mater from the Cars series) and invite all of his friends over to celebrate - all of which he specifically has asked for. If this isn't motivation and bribery, I don't know what is. I've pretty much promised him everything but a pony if he stops wearing diapers. It's too bad that a sticker chart wasn't enough motivation for him, but I'm down for a Potty Party if it will save us some cash at the grocery store.

Wish us luck! We're going to need it!!

It's an all out war
Logan is really sick, throwing up in his sleep from coughing. He spiked a fever of 103.4 at home. Bill took him to the Doctor & he's on steroids to help him breath. Grandma L made another email mistake complaining that she only was "allowed" (written just like that) to hold Carter once to a friend of hers & I got it too. It makes me believe that they aren't mistakes since I didn't say anything to her about the last one & here it's happening again.

I'm tired - emotionally & physically & I don't want to post anymore today. More later...

Damn it!
Logan is sick. He's had a runny nose developing this week since the Sick Visit. He's been going through a lot of tissues over the last couple of days. This morning he woke up sounding terrible, stuffy & just "sick". I went to workout with massage friend for an hour, came back & Logan went down for a nap - having a hard time doing so because he was coughing something fierce.

I've been crying intermittently listening to him. I feel like such a jackass because I knew we should have left, but I was too chicken to pack everyone up & go. I haven't cried at all since Carter has been born & now the tears just well up & won't stop. I would feel somewhat better if I were able to confront the situation & let the grandparents know exactly how I feel, but Bill won't let me. No, I have to play the stupid denial game & keep my thoughts & feelings to myself. He said he would talk to them & take care of it.

Now I'm really hoping Carter doesn't get sick. I'm really, really, really hoping he doesn't.

Why am I not surprised
Last Thursday, one of the other moms on the MOMS Club board unknowingly came to the board meeting with shingles. Once she was diagnosed, she immediately emailed everyone she had been in contact with apologizing & offering to answer any questions people may have. Not too many other moms have to worry about it since they've either had the chickenpox or their kids have been vaccinated for it. Only a few people have newborns & I'm pretty sure they made out OK.

I emailed her back wishing her a speedy recovery (I've heard shingles is super crappy to deal with) & that I was the strange one of the group actually hoping Logan would get the chickenpox since he's not been vaccinated (& won't unless he never gets the disease by his teen years).

I've been keeping a close eye on Logan's rashes & eczema outbreaks, looking for any signs of chickenpox. Last night he had a very nasty breakout - a bright red rash on his stomach, hips, arms & the back of his knees & a few bumps on his face. I was sure that he would wake up covered in spots. He actually woke up looking good, but I still took him to the Doctor to get checked out just in case.

We were seen this morning & I was told to leave him in the car while I got him checked in at the front desk. After check-in, they had us come into an exam room by a side door to the building so no other children would be in contact with him if he did have the highly contagious infectious disease. The PA looked him over & checked out the spots on his lips, ears, hands, face & feet. Chickenpox was ruled out, but he was diagnosed with a different contagious infectious disease. Hand-Foot-Mouth disease. I was told that it is really common in kids his age, especially if they are thumb suckers (Logan is more of a whole hand chewer - still). He's been living in the sandbox ever since the weather has been nice, so it's no surprise that he has some virus from the combination.

There's no treatment plan or medication for him to take, we just wait it out for about 3-7 days. He doesn't have a fever & he doesn't have open blisters so he's not contagious & we don't have to be quarantined in the house for an extended period of time. The PA thinks that his rash from last night was a combination of seasonal allergies causing his eczema to flare up, along with the HFM symptoms. It's been suggested that Logan start taking a daily medication like Zyrtec. I might have him take it only during high-pollen days. We'll see.

So, HFM disease. Yuck. Although I was really hoping it was chickenpox.

Moved & sick
I have to say, I think this move was the most difficult for us out of all of the moves we've ever done. The move from Vegas to Portland with two dogs was almost cake compared to this. The move from Portland to Denver wasn't even difficult. And the move to our small town, while a hellish experience, still didn't top this. Moving when everyone is sick with the flu sucks. A lot.

On Sunday morning we started packing a few boxes before Bill met his co-workers to pack up the moving truck. I was lightheaded, dizzy, nauseas & almost passed out quite a few times. A couple of times when I lost the feeling in my arms & face & felt my legs go weak, I thought for sure I was going to end up on the floor. Bill wasn't much better either, but still had to pack up the house anyway.

Logan & I hung out at the new house & waited for the cable guy while Bill & his crew moved our furniture. They packed up about 90% of the house & got us all moved in. If it weren't for those guys, we would have been utterly screwed. There are just a few odds & ends that we have to go back & get the rest of the days this week, but for the most part, we're finished. Hallelujah.

Bill was able to go back to work on Monday after staying home sick since Wednesday. He got a really bad case of the flu, complete with high temp, body aches & the whole nine yards. I got something that made my lungs burn when I breathed in. Bronchitis or something like that. And now, Logan is sick. He woke up a few times crying in the middle of the night. Then when Bill went in to go wake him up, he got up saying "sick" & shaking a bit. We took his temperature & he's running about 101 right now. Needless to say, we're staying home from preschool.

Not only does he have a fever, but he has a runny nose & he is completely exhausted. Never in his life has he fallen asleep anywhere other than his bed & right now he's passed out on the couch with a fleece blanket & a cuddle cat at his feet. I hope he recovers soon, because between Bill & I being too sick to do anything, I feel really bad for all of the TV & non-activity that's been going on here. Logan really needs some playtime outside of the house.

But, we're in our new house, which is great & everyone is happy that we're here. Logan loves his new room & all of the space he has to run around freely. The animals are very, very happy with Kitty cuddling & purring more than she ever has before. The fact that everyone can stretch out with extra breathing room is a huge bonus & it's making everyone so much more comfortable. The first night we were here, it already felt like home.

One sorry bunch
So, as if me being sick with HG wasn't enough, Bill got sick with the flu on Wednesday & has been sick ever since then. I got some cruddy sinus/chest crap going on too, but not what Bill has. Between the two of us, our house has fallen apart, Logan has watched TV all day long & lived in his pajama's all day since yesterday (different pairs, thankfully).

The biggest thing, we're moving in the morning & we haven't packed a single box.

We've been literally stuck on the couch for days, ordering food because we're too sick to cook for Logan & trying to survive. The one thing that's made bed rest bearable, is that Bill found an awesome deal on a laptop before getting sick. We've watched so much SpongeBob, Yo Gaba Gaba, Blues Clues, Dora & other kids TV, that's it's been nice to still be in the same room, on the couch, not moving, but still connected to the rest of the world via laptop.

Tomorrow morning Bill's co-workers are helping him move the heavy furniture, then he's going to come back for the little things & box some stuff up. It will take the rest of the week to get everything. I'm really glad we decided to move a week early & we don't have to be out until the 29th. I can't imagine having to pack & move everything in one day with how sick we are.

But, the good news is that we'll be sleeping in our new house tomorrow night. Finally. And I will have my very own sick bathroom. And we won't have to think about moving again for a long time. Awesome.

Doctors appointments for all
Talk about a crazy day. It's been one appointment after another. Yesterday morning I woke up feeling really sick. I didn't eat much & I drank even less. I knew I had to call my OB because things can get out of hand quickly with HG. I called to see if I could increase my dosage & they wanted to see me.

This morning Logan woke up with a really bad cough. It was so bad that I thought it was serious (like croup or pneumonia). We got him in earlier this morning before I went in for my appointment. It turns out he does have croup. It's a very mild case & he doesn't need any medication (thankfully). He's not even contagious, so we can still have his birthday party tomorrow. After getting the all clear, I dropped him off at photographer friends' house so I could go to my appointment.

By the time of the appointment, I hadn't had anything to eat or drink for almost 24 hours. They checked the urine sample for ketones to see how dehydrated I was. There were some, but not a lot, so I didn't have to get re-hydrated today. The Doctor increased my dosage of zofran & told me that if anything changed over the weekend, I would have to come in immediately. I still have to go in to get checked out again next week. I'm really happy that they are so proactive about not letting me get so bad that I'll need IV's or another trip to urgent care.

So, Logan is napping & resting after a busy day (that started at 6:30AM) & I'm going to hit the sack & get some rest so I can at least try to get some energy to clean the house & get everything ready for Logan's party in the morning.

I can't wait until the weekend is over with.