Monday, March 23, 2009


Another year older and wiser too, I suppose. Saturday was my 29th birthday and you know you're getting old when the best present that day is an hour long nap.

The day was pretty chill with Bill leaving for a disc golf tournament early that morning and being gone all day (7am-8pm). The kids and I hung around the house for a bit and I talked to a few people who had called to wish me happy birthday. I dropped Logan off at the drop-in childcare center for the afternoon and went to pick up sushi to eat at the hospital with photographer friend. Afterward, I took a nap (total awesomeness), picked up Logan to do a little shopping (for nothing special) and that was about it! Nothing extraordinary, but nothing dramatic either.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and perhaps a birthday (or getting older) is the appropriate time for reflection. I've never been bothered by our imminent demise but since having kids, the thought of my passing (or anyone in my family) has really been poking at my consciousness in the far recesses of my brain.

It all started way back before Carter was born when Bill and I were watching Six Feet Under. It's a great series and despite death being a central part of the storyline, I really enjoyed watching it every night before going to bed. At times, it was a little unsettling to realize how sudden death can be and the grieving process a family goes through afterward. Then we watched the final episode. It was heavy and I pulled the covers up to my nose as I sank lower into our bed. It detailed the deaths of all of the main characters, so you ended up watching how a handful of people die in the course of an hour.

Since then, the thought of our mortality has stuck with me. Right now at this phase in my life, we are surrounded by birth and the starting of or the continued growing of families. Soon enough, that will change as the life cycle comes around. Granted, we're not in our 50's when all of this really starts to happen, but as witnessed in the series - you just never know. And that freaks me out.

Morbid, huh! I know 29 is young (even though kids make me feel 10 years older), but this really is the first year that my birthday brings some reality along to the celebration with the cake and ice cream. Birthdays aren't what they used to be (even though I'm always down for a party). And yes, I know all of this thinking is a bit premature, but whatever. I'm off to plan my funeral.


Anonymous said...

Well, happy belated birthday! I think the nap thing goes hand in hand with being a mommy, not being old :)

It isn't really morbid, its just a fact. We just lost a girl that goes to our church, she was only 19, in a car accident. Even though I only knew her from around church, it hit me hard. I think it had such an impact because it is inevitable. Same with watching that show...death happens to the best of us.

SwizzlestickMama said...

Happy very belated birthday! Ditto on the hour long nap!