Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Happy Halloween!
Halloween is one of my favorite holidays of the year. It's so much fun dressing up & hoarding all of the candy you can.

We were party poopers this morning. There was a Tiny Tots parade downtown that we planned on going to, until we saw the temperature. 25 degrees. I hate being cold & Logan is just getting over his cold. I also thought twice about having copious amounts of chocolate in the house right now. Since Logan can't eat any, it would be gone in two days. Guaranteed. Then my pants wouldn't fit & I would be really grumpy.

I got Logan dressed in his lion outfit & her crawled around the house & had fun. I think I'll keep him in it all day. He's that cute.

Monday, October 30, 2006

After shocks & shock therapy
On Sunday morning, Grandpa L called Bill to invite all of us out for breakfast. Bill told him that we would be there. A few minutes after he hung up Bill received another call. There was an uproar that I would be there at breakfast. "What's your problem? We're trying to move forward here", he said. He listened for another few seconds & hung up on them.

Grandpa L called back again. He guessed breakfast wasn't going to happen. Bill invited him over to our house so they could play with Logan. They refused because I would be there. "Well, I guess nothing is going to happen today then", Bill said & hung up. Not too long after that, he got another call from Grandma L wanting to meet up. They met at a bagel shop close to home because it was a neutral spot. They talked for a while. Grandpa L tried to get some "words" in & Bill told him that he didn't want to hear it.

When Bill came home, we decided to spend the rest of the day hanging out. We went to the library to pick up some new books for Logan & Bill. We ran a couple of errands. After Logan went to bed, Bill & I sat by the fireplace with a couple of glasses of wine. It was the calm after the storm. We were getting back to our life again.

It was interesting to read the comments that people have about the choices & events that happen in my life. As harsh as some of them were, there were points well taken. The whole purpose of this blog was to document the life & challenges of becoming a stay at home mom. I have made some choices that I might not have since Logan has been born. Bringing my Dad back into our lives was one. Standing up for myself is another.

When my 3 day old baby was taken hostage from me, when my 2 week old son was snatched from the changing table the minute I turn my back. When my 5 month old was continually taken out of my arms while on a family vacation...I didn't say anything. I kept it in & cried about it. I called my sisters & cried. I cried about it on this blog. In those moments I told myself, "She is Logan's Grandma. She lives far away. She only sees him a few times a year".

I felt differently about it when we moved. I was angry that she was meddling in our family living situation. Again. I spoke up about her taking Logan out of my arms. She had a fit then as well. When she left after that, I told Bill that I wasn't going to put up with it anymore. This was our marriage, our family. Not hers. I'm tired of keeping it in. I'm tired of crying about it. I'm tired of venting about it on the blog. Since then our marriage has been so much better. Our communication is stronger. We support each other.

So when the question arises, "Are you that insecure about your relationship...?", I have to say yes. It happened before. Bill & I have worked so hard to get things back together again. I am finally beginning to trust him again without any doubts. I don't trust Grandma L. She's see nothing wrong with her actions. I am careful to not let the same things happen in our parenthood.

My boundaries are the way they are because of lessons I've learned & life I've experienced. I made solemn vows to myself as to what kind of Mother I was going to be when I read "pregnant" on the pregnancy test. They will change as Logan grows older & more independent. But for cryin' out loud. He's 9 months old. Not 29 years. If I want to be the one who changes his diapers, feeds him his meals, wipes his face, takes care of him when he's sick, puts him down to sleep & comforts him when he cries...I will. I'm his Mother. I see nothing wrong with this. Grandma L is upset because "all" she gets to do is play with him, read him stories, sing songs, go to the park & do fun things. She's angry because I won't let her be a third parent like she had been a third person in our marriage.

There is a lot of psychology behind my feelings, as well as hers. There's psychology behind all of us. Our issues just mix like oil & water. The anonymous comments (the ones that weren't blatant attacks) provoked an epiphany of what her "taking him away" really means. Someday, when the smoke has cleared, I'll explain.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

The Big One
This was like "The Big One". The enormous earthquake that's supposed to devastate the US in the sometime eminent future. Aunt Ju-Ju & I never got a chance to talk on Friday. Bill came home furious with me. He had a few choice words. He was really angry. He calmed down a bit & we talked. He really wanted me to call his mom to apologize. "I'm not going to just roll over & let her think that everything is OK. I'll sit down & talk to her. I'll explain why I feel like I do. I'll try to work it out", I compromised.

I called her up & said that we needed to talk. Bill really wanted to spend time as a family & for his Dad to see Logan. She said OK. They came over & took a look at the house as I finished feeding Logan his snack. Then I let him loose on the floor & to play with Grandpa L. We sat there for a while deciding on when to go out for dinner. I said that I wanted to talk before dinner, in hopes of coming to a resolution so we could all eat in peace.

Bill & Grandpa L left while Grandma L & I sat at the kitchen table. I had put some of my thoughts down on paper so I made sense & didn't ramble. So I could giver her specific events to when she crossed the line. I made sure to stay calm. I didn't raise my voice. I didn't make a scene. I explained that my issues were with over-stepping of bounds. I told her that I know I'm not easy to get along with when I'm holding a grudge. I gave examples of why I feel like I do. I explained the boundaries that I wanted & was comfortable with. She denied everything & threw a fit.

She sat there & said she didn't remember any of these events. She resented that I wrote my thoughts down. She said I was making it all up. That I was twisting & taking things out of context. She kept rolling her eyes. She called me a "little bitch" & said that she was done with me.

She left & shortly there after Bill stormed in. I tried to explain to him that all I did was try to explain myself. I tried to let her know why I felt like I did & resolve our differences. She wanted nothing to do with it. She said that she would like to see him & Logan again, but never wants to see me at all. He left saying that he didn't want to talk to me.

He slept in the other bedroom & went to work this morning. He usually doesn't work on Saturdays. When he left, he said we would talk when he got home. While at work he sent me a text message saying that he loved me. He had cooled off some & was ready to talk. He wanted to get this behind us. He went to lunch with them & would come home after.

He got home & I explained what happened. I know it's difficult for him. I told him that I tried. I was calm & reasonable. She was angry that I was organized & had specifics as to when she made major offenses. She resorted to name calling, denying everything, storming out & writing me off. He talked about how much stress he's under & how uncomfortable lunch was without me & Logan there. I told him that I didn't want visits with Logan to be without me there too. We are a family & we stick together as a family. Bill & I held hands as I cried & he sighed.

He asked if I would go to the park with the family. I said yes. I wasn't the one who said that they never wanted to see anyone again. I was willing to participate in whatever was going on. He called Grandma L to let her know we would all go. She said she wanted to come over & talk to me again. I said OK.

She came over, but wouldn't come inside. We talked out on the driveway. I was calm again, but firm with my stand. We rehashed part of yesterdays conversation of specific events & boundary issues. She rolled her eyes & continued to disrespect me. I told her that all I want is some respect. Respect our family & our boundaries. I told her that I know I shouldn't have told her to stop, I should have asked her to. She wanted to delve into my childhood history & play psychologist. "I'm not going to go into that. What happened happened. It's not the issue now. Our history is what makes us the way we are. All of us", I said. She then wanted to know how often I left Logan alone, like he was a hermit child. "Logan isn't locked away in the house all day long. We go to play groups, we go shopping, Bill is home more & we all go out. He's not a little hermit". She rolled her eyes again & then asked if Bill ever watched him without me. "He watches him when I go to the gym & I'm fine with that". She kept trying to see if Bill & I were united & questioned our communication. She kept asking if it was me that made these decisions & if Bill knew about them. She wanted Bill & Logan to visit them without me. I told her no. That was never going to happen. We are a family unit & will stay that way. She said that she wasn't comfortable with that or our boundaries. Then she got in her car & drove off.

So now I've talked to her twice. She flipped out both times. I've tried & that's all I can do. I've been willing to talk, to work things out. I've been calm & collected. I've stood my ground. I will not be disrespected anymore & she knows it. That's exactly why she's freaking out. Because I won't be bullied into letting her play mommy & manipulate our marriage, or manipulate our family.

I know Bill is having a very difficult time. It really hurts to see him so stressed. But he has been wonderful. Our communication has been strong though this & our relationship will only get stronger.

Friday, October 27, 2006

It's all coming to a head today
I'm trying, I really, really am. But it's all coming out onto the table this afternoon. This morning we woke up, I fed Logan & he & Grandma L played in the living room while I cooked more baby food. I've been cooking all the time to have something to do & give them some space to play together.

Logan is still a little sick. We put some eucalyptus in his humidifier last night & he woke up a little better. But as the morning went on, his nose got runny. Grandma L procceded to "take care of him". I didn't say anything the first time, even as my blood started to boil. I was cutting eggplant & almost chopped off a finger. The second time I didn't say anything again. Then I burned my hand on a hot cookie sheet. The third time, Logan started to fuss because he hates having his face wiped & I lost it.

"OK. Stop mothering my child", I said, clearly agitated. With a surprised look she said she was only trying to help. "I've been on edge the whole visit & it's because my biggest fear was that you were going to try to take over & take care of my sick baby". "I'm not taking over, I'm helping. You don't know the difference", she replied. "I have a huge list of events where you've overstepped your bounds. I've given you an inch & you went half way around the world. I don't want to give you anymore", I said, trying not to shake. Then she asked for my phone & called Aunt Ju-Ju to come pick her up. Right now.

She got her things together while I read Logan some books & put him down for his nap. Aunt Ju-Ju came in & sat in the rocking chair. We talked for a while, hugging & crying. She said she didn't know what was going on because Grandma L wouldn't tell her. She said that she was ready to write me off on the way over here, but what was that going to solve. "You're my sister. Not my sister in law. I love you & can't imagine this family without you", she cried. "You don't have to love her like we do". We talked, hugged & cried some more. We decided that the two of us are going to sit down for coffee at Starbucks & I'm going to explain everything to her. I don't want to involve everyone else in the family, but now that Aunt Ju-Ju is a new mother, I think she'll have a good understanding of where I'm coming from. I know it's going to be difficult for her to hear some of these things, just as it is for Bill. Hopefully this craziness will all end today.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

This is a difficult visit
Before yesterday, I felt OK. I didn't have the extreme anxiety like I did prior to other visits. The last visit went alright with no one overstepping bounds. I had faith in Bill that he would take care of anything if he needed to (there is a conversation that he's going to have to have sooner or later this weekend). But my guard is still up.

The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. After a visit where Grandma L had to be spoken to about boundaries, the following visit would be good. The visit after that, we would be right back at square one. This is what I'm anticipating. Plus, I have a sick baby & I feel like this gives her an "excuse" to play mommy. Not only is my guard up, but it's bigger than the wall of China.

Yesterday evening when we went to pick up Grandma L from Aunt Ju-Ju's & Uncle J's, I physically felt myself shut down. I stepped through the door & it was like a thick iron door shut inside of me. Bill knows that I'm not going to pretend that everything is OK, but I guess everyone else expects me to. At the beginning of every visit, I am totally freaked out inside & this wasn't any different. I was exceptionally distant though. More so than usual & apparently that made everyone pretty pissed.

I have a very difficult time trusting people to begin with. When someone abuses that trust, it takes a very long time for me to get over it. It's going to take more than one "successful" visit to prove to me that we won't have anymore issues. At times I'm not very optimistic about behaviors changing because Grandma L doesn't take any responsibility for our predicament. You can't change what you don't acknowledge.

I've already had a couple of issues today. This morning when Logan woke up, Bill took him to Grandma L instead of to me. I was furious & Bill knew it by the most evil of evil eyes I was giving him. He later explained that he was trying to let me sleep in. I can't really be that mad at him because he was trying to be nice, but it did bother me.

Then while I was making a batch of baby food, Grandma L asked about ordering pictures. Bill sent her a link to a site that offers 50 free pictures. She wondered where she could upload the pictures from. Photobucket or the hard drive. I knew what she was really trying to do. "You can upload from either of them", I said. "Are you going to take all of our pictures from the hard drive"? She quickly said no & almost ran out of the kitchen.

We have over 600 pictures of Logan on the hard drive & about a little over 200 on Photobucket. I think we've been very generous in taking pictures every week for them. She even goes to the extent of being like the paparazzi while visiting, constantly taking pictures of Logan & I don't say anything about it (even though that bothers me too). However, there are some things that I would like to be special for our family. I would like some of our pictures to be just ours. I knew she was trying to be sneaky because Bill sent her this link weeks ago. I know she has a "Logan" file on her hard drive with a ton of pictures. She wanted the ones from our computer. This doesn't fly with me. Not at all.

This really sucks because it's only day one of four.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

It's back
Stupid cold. Logan was better for a couple of days. No runny nose, no green nose, nothing. Then this morning he woke up all gross. He was really mad at me when I was cleaning his nose & face.

I emailed the playgroup to let them know we won't be there & didn't want to get the other kids sick. We're planning on hanging out in the house all day again. It will give me a chance to finish cleaning & get some cooking done. Not exactly a fun day, but oh well. Bummer.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

52 Finger Food pick up
A lot of kiddos seem to be ready to eat finger foods along the same time as Logan. I got a few emails wondering if I could send out the list. Other than cleaning the house like a neat freak in preparation of the Grandparents visit, nothing new is going on, so.....

I found the list on Baby Center from someone who found in in the Parents magazine. I tried looking for a link to the article, but I couldn't find it. Good thing for bookmarks!

  • small bites of cherry tomatoes (I would be careful with this one due to choking)
  • sliced blueberries or raspberries (after 9 months)
  • whole-wheat rotini pasta
  • corn niblets (after 1 year. Not much nutritional value in corn though)
  • avocado
  • whole-grain couscous
  • cheerios
  • ripe mango or papaya
  • whole-grain french toast
  • cooked green beans
  • cooked (& peeled) white/sweet potato cubes
  • chopped hard boil egg (whites after 12 months)
  • cooked zucchini or squash
  • mozzarella cheese
  • well-cooked asparagus tips
  • sliced grapes (I would be wary of this as well)
  • mini rice cakes
  • grilled-cheese sandwich, strips or cubes
  • brown rice
  • ripe apricot
  • whole-grain pancakes
  • tiny, well-cooked broccoli florets
  • whole-wheat macaroni and cheese
  • kiwi
  • cucumber (peel, remove seeds, slice)
  • well-cooked, diced carrots
  • teething biscuit/zwieback crackers
  • whole-grain toast with all-fruit spread
  • fruit cock tail (be sure to slice cherries/grapes)
  • whole-grain waffles
  • grated or shave apple
  • small oranges, fresh (remove membranes, but I would wait until after 12 months)
  • canned or very ripe, fresh pears
  • banana
  • tiny chunks of turkey meatballs
  • matzoh crackers
  • shredded cheese or cheese crumbles
  • fork-mashed canned beans or chickpeas
  • graham crackers (no honey until 12 months)
  • ripe honeydew, cantaloupe or watermelon (remove seeds)
  • tofu
  • bites of whole-grain muffin
  • pineapple
  • ripe peaches
  • cooked pearl barley
We tried chunky cantaloupe & I almost had a heart attack. Logan didn't choke, but he was really close. I'm going to err on the side of caution (paranoia) & go a little bit slower with it.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Starting finger foods
And can I say...I'm scared to death about it? I'm petrified that he's going to choke on something, especially since he's still all gums. He may be that way for the rest of the year, but it's time that he start learning how to feed himself.

A couple months back, we gave him some Gerber Puffs. He was a bit too young & we decided to wait a little longer. He just wasn't ready. Well, now he is. We tried the puffs again a couple of days ago & he loves them. He does a great job feeding himself & an even better job of feeding Buddha. Lets just say, I've never had to clean the floor after Logan eats.

I just revamped his nutrition plan to accommodate his 9th month needs. I'm going to make his food thick & chunky. I'm adding finger foods for snacks. I'll keep up with the Puffs & I have a list of 52 other finger foods we could try. I'm really glad that Bill just went through his CPR certification last week. God forbid we ever have to use it.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Here we go again
Cold #2. Poor Logan. It started with a bit of a runny nose yesterday. I didn't think it was too bad & maybe it was from the cold wind or change in the weather. Nope. It's a full blown virus. It's a little more intense than cold #1.

When he woke up at 6 am this morning to nurse, he couldn't breath while he ate. I turned on the light & it was a pretty gross sight. I cleared out his nose & wiped his face down, which he really didn't like. He was able to eat better though.

He got up again at 8 am to nurse again. Same thing. Booger face. So, are we going to go to the pumpkin patch for pictures & pumpkins? No. Are we going to dinner at Aunt Ju-Ju, Uncle J & Baby B's? No way. It's chill out in our PJ's day. I'll also be looking into "get your baby feeling better fast" remedies so we can hopefully go to all of our activities this week. Maybe we can go to the pumpkin patch in a couple of days. Oh, & Grandma & Grandpa L will be visiting again in a few days. I really don't want to hear "advice" if Logan is still sick.

Friday, October 20, 2006

I'm trying really hard not to laugh
Logan has been all about spitting this last week. Yesterday while I was cooking, I had him in his high chair right next to me. He just sat there screaming & spitting. "Ahh, pppthh! Ahh, pppth! Ahhh PPPPTHHH!" He was having a really good time. It was even more hysterical when I would mimic him. He laughed & laughed & laughed.

This is all good & cute, except for when he's eating. Then I get sprayed & there's food all over the floor & all over him. I'm trying really hard not to laugh because when I do, he gets a kick out of it & spits even more. It's hard to ignore. I think it's so funny (even if I do get food all over me) & I have to bite my tongue so I don't encourage him.

I thought giving him his binky would curb the spitting. No. He just holds it to the side, just like a cigar & spits with it in his mouth. He really cracks me up.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Parenting goals
I've been thinking about this for the last few weeks. One night as Bill & I were sitting on the couch watching whatever on TV, we were talking about this. Or rather, I was talking about it. Bill just sat there & nodded his head, "Yeah. Uh-huh".

Then at the MOMS club meeting last week there was a guest speaker speaking about empathetic discipline. Part of her seminar talked about parenting goals. Before this meeting, I thought I was a little strange to have goals as a parent. But afterward, I thought it would be strange if I didn't have any goals. All parenting goals are, are values & traits that you want to instill in your children. The kind of skills & tools you want your children to leave home with. I've thought a lot about what kind of skills & values I want to help Logan learn. There's quite a list.

This has to be my number one goal as Logans' Mom. Ever since he was born, even before he was born, I always thought of him as a little person. He is his own being with his own wants, needs & life. It's my job as his Mother to make sure he is free to explore his world & be his own person. I think this is so important to me because when I was becoming independent as a kid, it was thought of as rebellion, especially in my teens. I want him to be able to feel like he can depend on himself, that he is a very capable person & there are no limits as to what he can do (provided they are safe & legal).

Positive Self Esteem/Self Confidence
I'm not sure how important this was to past generations because there are so many people with low self esteem. I know it wasn't anything I learned from my family & I know this was lacking in Bills' childhood as well. As silly as it sounds, Logan & I share a little poem that I made up for him when he was smaller. It's silly because it reminds me of the SNL Stuart Smalley daily affirmations skit. However, it's fun & Logan loves it.

I tell him, "You are cute. You are sweet. You are smart. You are strong. You are silly. You are loved & You are special". Each trait has a gesture to go along with it. I bring his hands to his cheeks for cute, his hands over his heart for sweet, on his forehead for smart, bicep flex for strong, a wiggle for silly, hugs for loved & arms reaching up for special. He thinks this is so fun & smiles so cute when we do it. As he gets older, I hope he continues to believe every word of it, because it's true.

Good Health
This is another thing that past generations didn't seem to care about. Bill & I were never taught about the importance of taking care of our bodies. Healthy nutrition & an active lifestyle were non-existent. The old adage, "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure" is so true. By just living by some "simple" habits, you can really save yourself a lot of grief. There's nothing worse than being in pain, feeling lethargic, not being able to move your body very well & just a general feeling of ill health. If you don't have your health, you really don't have anything. I want Logan to be healthy so he can enjoy all that life has to offer.

Good Work Ethic & The Value Of A Dollar
Nothing in life comes easily. You get what you put into it. I'd hope that Logan learns this early in life rather than the hard way. Bill & I've talked about giving Logan an allowance when he's old enough. We've also talked about buying toys when he's been well behaved or on a special occasion. Even though this is hard for us (what parent doesn't want to buy their child toys all of the time), we don't want Logan to learn that you get what you want by whining & we're not made of money either.

Art Appreciation
I think this encompasses not only art, but music & literature as well. Bill & I can be creative people, when we want to be. Before Logan, we used to paint (Bill is much more creative & a better artist than I am). Bill also does some photography here & there & is a talented graphic artist (which he went to school for, but never pursued as a career). We've talked about getting Logan a finger paint set for his first birthday, although I might make him some home made paint before then. I really hope he's inherited Bill's artistic creativity.

With our eclectic taste in music, I have no worry that Logan will be exposed to all sorts of different kinds. This is one positive aspect that I took away from my childhood. I thought it was the coolest that my mom & I listened to the same music. My Grandma Nancy exposed us to classical, to which I still love listening to. I have the "Smart Symphonies" CD for Logan & we listen to it all of the time. I sing to him constantly & we joke about how he likes to sing back. Even though we don't play them, we have a guitar & a didgeridoo. Then there's the keyboard & Logans' new drum & percussion set. I think we have enough instruments to start a band.

I've been reading to Logan ever since he was born. When we moved, we were so excited to get our library cards. It was like hitting the jack pot for childrens books. We stock up on new one's every week. It will be so much fun when we (finally) go to story time too. Reading bed time stories has to be one of my favorite times of the day. Even though his attention span is pretty short, I know Logan like it too.

The list could go on & on, but I decided to stop with the top five. Empathy, compassion & critical thinking are right up there too. The trick to helping Logan learn all of these traits is to live by example. Monkey see, monkey do. Everyday I realize that having children makes you become a better person because you want them to be amazing people as well.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

First snow & first playgroup
It started snowing yesterday afternoon & got heavier as the day went on. It started sticking to the ground just as we were out & about running our errands. I got Logan bundled up in his new winter coat. He reminded me of the little brother on "A Christmas Story" because he wouldn't move his arms. Then when he sat him in the shopping cart, he just fell over to the side. It was pretty funny.
Logan was pretty indifferent about the snow. He didn't really notice it falling on his face as we were getting in & out of the car. He did watch it fall on the back deck as he was eating dinner. Bill grabbed a snowball & brought it in the house. Logan patted it & broke it up into little pieces. Then he held it for a while. He mostly looked at it in curiosity.

This afternoon we went to our first playgroup date. It was pretty fun. There were about six or seven other kids running around. Logan was the youngest & the only crawler. The kids closest to his age were 12 & 13 months old. So he's not that far behind.

It took him a little while to warm up to everyone & being in a new house. As he got used to it, he crawled around & then played by other kids. I think he's still to young to actually play with them. He had a good time showing the other Moms the toys he found & sat on their laps for a bit. I was proud of him for lasting the hour & a half that he did. Not bad for the first time!

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

37 weeks
What a week this has been. Our little rock climber continues to perfect his technique. He climbs all over me when we play on the floor, all over the couch & up onto the baby gate. He's very good at sitting down carefully & has even figured out how to bend over & pick up a toy while standing & hanging onto the couch. He knows how to get off the couch, but he still needs to be watched. He's been practicing standing unassisted. It's not for long, but he'll lean against the couch without holding on, then stands for just a few seconds before leaning back on the couch.
All of this activity has been wearing him out. He's been going to bed an hour earlier at 7 pm. This works out fine, except for the fact that he wakes up an hour earlier.

He still has yet to reject any of his foods. He ate chicken for the first time this week. It took a couple of bites to get used to the texture, but he never spit it out or cried. He doesn't take after Bill or myself when it comes to food because the two of us are the pickiest eaters on earth. It totally makes it easy for me though.

His persistent diaper rash has finally gone away. This took weeks. Weeks of trying different creams, different combos of creams through out the day, a different type of diaper & various naked times. I'm glad his rear isn't red anymore.

Teething has been coming & going. Sometimes he gets especially drooly & chews on his toys like a mad man. There have been a couple of fussy times, but nothing to warrant the use of Tylenol, gels or frozen wash cloths. I'm still wondering when these teeth are going to pop up!

It was so cute to see his reaction to Baby B this week. Taking pictures of Logan has been challenging because the boy doesn't sit still. Other family members were able to get some pictures of him with Baby B so I'll get them posted as soon as we get them. There were some really cutes ones of the two of them sitting on laps side by side & one of Logan holding Baby B. They were so sweet!

While we were at the hospital visiting the family, I noticed the baby scale in the room. Since we missed Logans sixth month check up, it's been a long time since he's been on a scale. I had no clue how much he weighed & I was getting sick of people asking. With some clothes & without shoes, he weighed 16 lbs 15.4 oz. A couple of pounds smaller than I guessed. He's one tall kiddo though because he's wearing 12-18 month sizes, all because of his length. I'm in the process of looking for baby belts to keep his pants up. I'm not skilled in sewing or tailoring clothes, so a belt is the way we've got to go.

On a kind of creepy Halloween note, every time I put Logan down for a nap, I don't turn on his mobile because the batteries are dead. When I turn it on, it plays about two or three notes before turning itself off. Well, Logan loves to play with it. When he was smaller & the mattress was higher, he could reach it with his feet. He would constantly kick it to turn it on & change what song it played. Now that he's bigger, he likes to stand up & turn it on. I never stopped to think about it until this morning, but he's been standing up & turning it on during nap time. It plays. For a while. Like the batteries aren't dead. I'll be busy with something & I'll hear the faint sound of songs coming from his room. I put my ear up to his door & listen to his mobile playing entire songs. It's very strange.

Monday, October 16, 2006

The battle of the schedule
Now that we're involved in more activities, it's difficult to get the schedule straight. I have a desk top calender that's full for the rest of the month. Trying to work everything in around Logans meals & naps is a task in itself.

This morning we were supposed to go to the library for story time. I was going to feed Logan, eat half of my breakfast, go to spin class, come back & eat the other half, take Bill to work, go to story time & then feed Logan lunch. This was all before noon. It didn't happen.

Bill & I celebrated a little too much last night. We woke up pretty tired & drained. I really didn't feel like working out. Then Logan decided to take a marathon nap. I didn't want to wake him up because he woke up pretty early & really needed to rest.

Rather than running around, we've been playing with toys & hangin' out in our PJ's. Our next busy day is Wednesday. It's supposed to snow too. Great. Now it's going to take even longer to get ready & drive around. We'll see what happens.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Grandma L's visit is over. Thanks to Bill's conversation with her when he picked her up from the airport, everything was bearable. He talked to her about taking Logan from me, Logans separataion anxiety & not to take over the house. He did a great job.

Logan was spoiled with shopping sprees getting new clothes, his lion halloween costume, dishes for his new foods & lots of toys. He had a good time playing & being cute. His favorite toy was the drum set, complete with a tambourine, bells & clackers. My least favorite toy was the Chicken Dance Elmo. I'm going to be sure to play that thing non-stop during their next visit. If they want to buy toys that will drive people insane, I'll make sure they get to enjoy it as well.

Grandma L & Grandpa L will be back again in about a week & a half. I think this visit coming up will be ok too. If not, I know that Bill will be there to back me up & I know I'll say something if I have to.

It was kind of interesting when Aunt Ju-Ju had a question about Baby B. Like how to wrap him up for the night, something about breast feeding, sleeping, baby poop, or whatever. I've learned to keep my mouth unless I've been asked. Aunt Ju-Ju asked Grandma L about these things & she would look up at me & say, "I don't know, ask Kristin". I'm not sure if she was being facetious or if she's accepted the fact that she gives out inaccurate, outdated advice. But, whatever.

Just like Bill said at the end of last week...when it's all said & done, here we are, just us, next to the fireplace with a couple of glasses of wine.

Friday, October 13, 2006

Quickly becoming a rock climber
Yesterday morning, Bill went to work & dropped Grandma L off at the hospital to hang out all day. It was awesome. I planned on making Logan a huge batch of baby food. Spaghetti squash, acorn squash, green beans, broccoli, carrots, pears, apples, green lentils, barley & chicken.

I just finished the spaghetti squash & was getting the chicken ready when I heard a loud thump & Logan wailing. I washed my hands & ran over to scoop him up for a cuddle. I looked for a bump, but really didn't see anything. Then I noticed the goose egg on his forehead. After he calmed down, I go back to baking the chicken. Right after I get it in the oven & wipe the counters down, I look over & see Logan standing on the bottom stair. That little monkey! He fell from the bottom stair!

I had to put a halt on the cooking & play stair spotter all afternoon. I called Bill at work to let him know that our son is training to climb Everest & we'll need another baby gate.

After playing on the stairs, Logan stood up hanging onto the baby gate throwing toys over & talking to Kitty. Then he pulled himself up onto the gate, trying to climb over. He actually got his feet off of the ground. He's going to keep me busy for quite a while.

So, he can climb the stairs, pull himself completely up on to the baby gate & while he nurses, he hooks his fingers into my collar bone just like a rock climbing grip. I hurts like hell. Bill & I laugh that he's training in his infancy to gear up for the "Rockin' Tot's" rock climbing class at the gym.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Meeting Baby B
Yesterday afternoon Grandma L got into town & we went to the hospital to see Aunt Ju-Ju, Uncle J & Baby B. When we got there, they had seven other people visiting. With us, the room was full with 11. It was a little claustrophobic, but Aunt Ju-Ju didn't seem to mind.

Logan was enthralled with Baby B. He didn't know what to think about him at first, probably wondering why this little person was asleep & so small. But then he smiled. Big. He touched his arm & got more excited by the minute. It was so cute. He watched intently as Baby B got his diaper changed & looked at me with an inquisitive look whenever Baby B cried.

I didn't get a chance to hold Baby B because there were so many other people there holding him. I didn't mind though. I had my hands full with the Little Man. I was just impressed? I guess that's the word I'm looking for, that Aunt Ju-Ju didn't care that so many people were holding her baby for so long. We were there for almost two hours & she didn't hold him once. I would have gone insane.

We talked about her birth story. She said that she really didn't have one. It was pretty uneventful, other than the surgeon yelling at people a few times. They had a hard time getting Baby B out & a midwife was pushing on her stomach the wrong way. Then when he was finally out, everyone just stood there. The Doctor yelled out. "Well, are we all just going to stand here & stare at him?!" Wow. Aunt Ju-Ju is very satisfied with the events & swears that she wished she had been cut vertically so she would always have to have a c-section.

This made me think about how every Mom has a different birth story & different feelings about them. My birth story with Logan was amazing. I wouldn't have it any other way. I would have been devastated if Logan was born the way Baby B was. But Aunt Ju-Ju is extatic about the way it went & wouldn't want to have another baby born the way Logan was. It was confirmation that what works for some doesn't work for others. It's the same way with parenting choices.

When we first got int the door, one of Aunt Ju-Ju's best friends was there. She's the one who had another baby shortly after Logan was born. She was also the one who hosted Aunt Ju-Ju's first baby shower. Her son is HUGE. Especially compared to Logan. I know she & Grandma L have been talking about Logan's "starvation" because of her conversation. "Logan is much bigger than he was before. He looks much better. He's so healthy now! You know how you were asking me at the shower why my baby was so big? It's because I nurse him all of the time. I nurse him 4 times a night still". I kind of tuned out at that point.

First, Logan is fine. He was born in the 20th percentile. No big deal. His Doctors are happy with his growth & development. Secondly, I know this was a conversation sparked by Grandma L. I would never ask another mother why her baby is so big. That's just as rude as asking why her baby is so small. But, I took it with a grain of salt. What works for her, doesn't work for me. When I was talking to Bill about this on the way home he said, "We know that Logan is fine. At least he's sleeping through the night & you don't have to get up 4 times like she does".

Just as different birthing experiences are fine with some Mothers, different parenting choices are the same. I still don't get why everyone feels like they have to put in their 2 cents on how to raise someone else's child. It's none of their business. Not all children are the same. Not all people lead the same lives. This is the part of parenthood that drives me nuts.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

New friends & family
It's been a busy day. Logan & I dropped Bill off at work so I could take the car today. It was really cold & supposed to snow so I left Logan in his fleece sleep sack pajamas, put a hat on & wrapped him up in a blanket. Bill picked him up in his car seat. "It's not that cold, geeze". He looked warm & snugly (& really cute too) to me!

We got home & it was a mad dash race to get ready so we could be on time to our first Moms Club meeting. Since being at stay at home mom who really doesn't have a schedule for the "outside" world, it's a challenge to be anywhere on time. We got there on time, but I didn't have time to put on any make-up. In the past, this would've been a huge deal. I never left the house without it. Now, it's an accomplishment it I get half of it on.

It felt like the first day of school. Logan & I dressed in our nice sweaters so we could make a good impression on the other moms, smiles & handshakes & gushing over the cute kids running around. It was nice to see that I wasn't the only one with wet hair & no make-up. Logan was on his best behavior. I thought he was going to be grumpy because the meeting was right in the middle of his morning nap. He played with his toys, slapped the table, smiled & "talked" with everyone. When he got tired, he just fell asleep in my arms. There are some really nice moms in the club & it will be great to get Logan in the play group for smaller kids. He's going to have a blast!

Later on in the morning Bill got a call from Uncle J. Baby B was born at 10:00 am. 6 lbs, 11 oz. 19 in long. It was a little difficult getting him out & the Doctors thought that they would have to make a vertical cut. Fortunately, he came out at the last second. We are so excited for them & for Logan to grow up with a cousin so close to his age. We spent the rest of the morning buying toys & a newspaper for the gift bag we'll bring when we go see them at the hospital tomorrow afternoon.

It is going to be so strange to see how Logan has grown in the last 8 months. He's going to seem like a little giant. It's going to be fun watching his reaction to Baby B. Logan loves other kids, especially babies. He just has this cute little smile on his face.

At the end of the day after I got Logan to bed, Bill got a fire started in the fireplace & poured a couple glasses of wine. We sat on the couch & he made a toast. "No matter what happens, I don't want you to stress about the next few days. I'll take care of everything. Just remember...next week it will be just us again next to the fire with a couple glasses of wine".

Monday, October 09, 2006

36 weeks
Logan has been so much fun these last few days. Well, he has always been fun, but especially this last week.

His new favorite things to do are to shake his head & spit & blow raspberries. It's hysterical. When he's playing with his toys, teasing the animals, pulling up onto furniture or just doing anything exciting, he's spitting. When he blows raspberries, he sticks his tongue out just a little so all you see is a little point. I love it.

I think he learned how to shake his head because I do it to make him laugh all of the time. He really likes it when I put my hair up in pigtails & shake. Apparently it's a lot more entertaining to see than just a pony tail. Now he does this constantly. When he's eating, he shakes his head in between bites. Bill & I shake our heads together & Logan just laughs.

Logan really thinks extreme facial expressions are pretty funny. I'll sit with him on the floor to play & he climbs all over my lap. He'll turn to look at me & I make a funny face. He laughs & then looks away. Then he looks back & I make a different funny face. He laughs & laughs. We can play this for quite a while.

The not so fun part is the constant falls on his head. The other day he was crawling around in the kitchen. He pulled up on his high chair. He was happy standing & screaming for fun. Then he did a face plant. He hit his head, but I couldn't see where. He was in so much pain that he was doing "buttwheels" (like a modified cartwheel) around on the floor. I was holding him, trying to get him to calm down. I wiped his tears from his eyes. One side had blood. I almost freaked. He had hit the corner of his eye on the edge of his chair. It broke the skin. I just couldn't see it because he was crying. I thought he was going to have his first black eye. Fortunately he's ok & no black eye.

Last night as I was taking Logan upstairs to bed, I turned to Bill. "I don't think I've ever smiled, laughed & had so much fun in all of my life since having Logan". Bill feels the same way. It's pure joy.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Things that made me happy, laugh & smile this week
We decided to get Logan a toy fire truck this week. He's been pushing his toys around like little cars & even though we talked about doing this for Christmas, we couldn't wait. Logan has so much fun! He knew exactly what to do with his truck. It's the cutest thing ever.

Logan has been standing up on everything. He's been trying to let go & balance. He can stand for just a few seconds. He's also getting better about learning how to sit down. We're making a game out of it. Every time he lands on his rear, we laugh. He thinks it's pretty funny now.

My favorite thing that made me laugh this week...Logan standing up by the sliding glass door. He like to tease Buddha while he's out there. Buddha will come to the door, scratching to get in. Logan just laughs & laughs & thinks we have the funniest dog ever.

Friday, October 06, 2006

This is the last one, I promise (at least until next week)
I really don't want this to be the drama blog of doom, but that's what's going on right now. First, I have to give MAJOR credit to Bill. He has been awesome. I know it's difficult to have negative conversations about your mother, especially if you've looked at her through rose colored glasses. I understand that it's not pleasant. He has held my hand, let me cry, listens & assures me that he'll take care of everything & it will be ok. "I wish you had talked to me before", he said. "I never felt like you had my back or understood how I felt", I cried. "I will always have your back. I'm sorry it wasn't clear before", he apologized. This means so much to me.

I also have to give props to my sisters. I know Bill can only hear so much. When I really have to let it all out, they are always there on the phone listening to me cry & assuring me that I have every right to feel like I do. I can't even count how many times Logans' Aunt R & Aunt J have listened to me scream (literally) about Grandma L. I always feel better after our conversations. This means so much to me too.

Not only have Bill & my sisters been great, but it's been unfortunately relieving to read the comments from all of the blogging Moms out there who share similar mother in law problems. It makes me feel little more normal & not so alone. It's really crappy that we all have to deal with it, but at least we're all in it together.

So this is the new part of the drama & why I've been crying to my family today. It turns out that Grandma L isn't taking any ownership in the situation. She talks about it to everyone, playing Polly Anna the whole time. She claims that I have anger & hostility towards her as a reflection of my hatred towards my mother (No, she doesn't hold a psychology degree) & she also thinks I'm hormonal or chemically imbalanced. She also believes that I'm insecure in my relationship with Bill & feel their relationship is too close. My "undermining" her is my attempt to strengthen our marriage (It actually was tearing us apart until we really started communicating better). She has said that when she's here, she just needs to keep her big mouth shut & I know she has also made back up plans to stay with someone else if things "go bad".

This may get a bit lengthy, but I'm going to list all of the reasons why I'm angry with her. She has some serious boundary issues that she is clearly in denial about (this is just stuff that has happened after Logan was born. We'll leave out what has happened before).

  • She initially planned to visit & see Logan for the first time when he would be 2 weeks old. I was comfortable & happy with this plan. I felt like it gave me enough time to heal & get my bearings as a new Mother. Right after Logan was born & I was being wheeled into the Mother/Baby unit, Bill told me she called & was coming out the day after we got home from the hospital. I had no say in the matter. It felt like it was an intrusion on our time as a new family.
  • The first words from her as she walked in the door as I was nursing Logan: "Are you done yet?! Because I'm ready to hold him!" This set the tone for her role as a grandmother & how I felt about her. This was the most selfish comment I've ever heard. She didn't care that Logan needed to eat, she just wanted to hold him.
  • She proceeded to take Logan hostage the entire visit. The only time I held him was when he needed a diaper change & needed to nurse. When I told her that Logan needed to eat, she was very reluctant to give him back. "He's not awake yet", she would quickly reply. She would then take her time & very slowly would try to wake him up rather than giving him back to his Mother.
  • She made very passive aggressive comments about my choice to breast feed. She always said, "That's the problem with breast feeding, you never know how much they're going to get", or some other remark. Then when she was confronted about it, she would always say, "Oh, it's so good for him! It's the best thing you can do for your baby". A few minutes later she would ask when Logan would start bottle feeding & when he was going to start formula. After I told her repeatedly about not formula feeding, she would then ask, "When could he start formula"? I feel like her comments are a reflection of her resentment towards me for being able to successfully breast feed Logan. She wasn't able to with Bill & Aunt Ju-Ju.
This is the post about that first visit.
  • Logan was sleeping in his bassinet at the foot of our bed. He woke up crying one morning because it was time to eat. I got up & brought him into bed to nurse. Just as I was getting him latched on, she opens our bedroom door to come in. I was in such shock (& sleep deprived) & just sat there slack-jawed as she turned around & closed the door behind her. This was the ultimate invasion of privacy.
  • She took it upon herself to "take care of Logan" while Bill & I went out & left him with her. She thought he needed his face scrubbed. We got back to hear that she scrubbed his face but didn't like it too much. He was hysterical for a while & it took some time to calm him down. First, his face was dry because of the climate in Colorado. Washing his face is only going to make it worse. Secondly, I now have a complex when leaving him with anyone, fearing that they'll "take care of him" & he's getting hysterical.
  • She literally snatched him from me. I was getting ready to change his diaper & his clothes. He was on the changing table & I turned around to grab a new outfit. She comes in & takes him off of the table, still in a dirty diaper & takes him out of the room. While she has him hostage & not getting taken care of, I'm being told to "go take a break".
This is the post about the second visit.
  • Logan had a serious reaction to his vaccinations. I never really wanted to immunize him, but went against my feelings so as not to "rock the boat" in the family. After a week of constant sleep & not waking up much at all & me crying & worrying about him, she told me it was "normal". Logans' doctors said it wasn't normal & changed his vaccination schedule & narrowed it down to the pertussis shot. After telling her that it wasn't normal & found out what shot it was, she freaked out that Logan wasn't going to continue receiving that vaccination, even though it could really hurt him. I'm still upset with myself for not listening to my gut & following her advice. I will never take her advice again.
This is the post about his 2nd month vaccination.
  • After having had a conversation about boundaries, we go on vacation & it all goes out the window. The breast feeding comments continue, baby hostage situations with her taking him away from me, her running to his crib to beat me there & her "taking care" of him in the car while I'm sitting right next to him.
  • She attempted to take away our first day at the park by trying to put him on the swings. Fortunately Logan was still too small.
  • She had her sister confront me, "Grandma L is a proud grandma, but she's having a hard time". I felt cornered & ganged up on. This was none of her business & a conversation that didn't need to happen.
  • While staying at her sisters' house, I stepped on the scale in their bathroom. I was surprised & proud that I weighed a little bit less than I did pre-pregnancy. Her comment was, "Are you sure the scale isn't broken"?
This is the long rant/post about the vacation.
  • While we were getting ready to move, she over stepped her bounds in reaction to the house we were going to rent. Granted there were problems that arose after our initial inspection & walk through, we are adults & can take care of ourselves. I still feel that she made such a scene because she didn't want to stay there when visiting. Her comment about the wood burning stove & animal skull in the back yard was the giveaway.
  • She continued to take Logan away from me & I confronted her about in. After our conversation, she threw her hands up in the air saying "Fine. I'll never say anything again". She didn't follow through.
This is the post about our move.
  • She made passive aggressive comments about how I was "starving" Logan. In the past, she would always tell me his stomach was growling & that he was constantly hungry. It got to the point where I called his doctor to talk about it. They assured me Logan was healthy & not always hungry.
This is the post where Bill & I started communicating better about the situation.
  • After uploading some recent pictures of Logan, she called to say, "It's nice to finally see Logan smile other than his straight line smile". This was very offensive to me hearing someone pretty much say that it was nice to see my son look different.
This is the post where I freak out about it & her impending visit.

The list is huge. It's comforting to see that it's not all "in my head" like she seems to believe. While the lack of relationship with my mom certainly doesn't help in the trusting of other people, it isn't the sole reason for the problems with Grandma L. At times it seems like she's trying to help, but as I read entry after entry & time goes on, my opinion changes.

So, that's enough of that. This post was the "Vent of all vents". A grand finale of why I feel like I do & why she does have ownership in the situation. I'm done venting about it until the visit is over next Sunday. Onto happier things tomorrow.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Stranger Anxiety? I don't mind!
Logan has been a little clingy & gets a bit upset when someone attempts to hold him or take him away from me. It's not to the point where I feel frustrated about it. It's not like it's holding me back from doing anything, because he doesn't get that way with Bill. Logan & Bill are playing happily in the mornings when I go to spin class. If I took him to the nursery, that would be different.

I suppose this is where being a stay at home mom makes it easier. If I had to go to work, this would be torture. I wouldn't be able to handle it. But, the little man & I hang out all day together so it's no big deal. It's a big bonus that he doesn't freak out on Bill either. I'm so glad he's home so much more. It's made such a difference. And another perk? When the grabby, obsessive grandma comes over next week, she's going to try to take Logan out of my arms. He's going to freak out & cry. Needless to say, he won't be crying for long.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Somebody please send me some Valium...non-deleted post #3
I am having some major anxiety. It's all because of Grandma L. She & Grandpa L are coming out at the end of the month because Aunt Ju-Ju & Uncle J are expecting Baby B's arrival. We're "lucky" enough to expect the grandparents to being staying with us, seeing as though we're the ones with the extra bedroom & half bath. Wonderful.

I haven't talked to Grandma L since about Labor Day. A week or so before that, she made the passive aggressive comment to me about how I was starving Logan. It was a major turning point in my marriage with Bill, because he finally started to listen to me. In my next conversation with her the week after, she made a comment about Logan's picture.

I take weekly pictures of Logan to put up on PhotoBucket. I do this because I think it's fun for Bill & myself to see how he grows & it's a nice way to keep our families up to date as well. Shortly after I added some of Logan's pictures, I get a phone call from her. "Thank you for the pictures. It's nice to finally see Logan smile other than his 'straight line smile'". I almost went through the phone to wring her neck.

In the past she has always made comments about his "straight line smile". About how it's so funny, blah, blah, blah. I always just laugh & say, "Yeah, Logan is pretty funny like that. It's just the way he likes to smile sometimes". Ha. Ha. Ha. As annoying as it is to hear her always talk about it, it never bothered me too much until she said it was nice to see him smile differently.

Was there a problem with the way he smiled before? Am I only supposed to put up pictures of him smiling the way she wants him to? It took every ounce of life in me to not scream at her over the phone. In a very stern voice desperately trying to control myself, I said, "Yes. He has a straight line smile. It's just what he likes to do. It's just the way he is". She became quiet. Then Logan woke up from his nap crying. She got off the phone pretty darn quick & I haven't talked to her since.

It's extremely frustrating because she either doesn't think about what she says & that it can be offensive to others, basically, she's ignorant. Or, she doesn't care. I'm leaning towards "she doesn't care". Bill talked to her about boundaries the visit she made before we went to North Dakota. Then it all went out the window on vacation. I told her to back off when we moved & she had her hysterical breakdown over the place we were going to rent. She has been told explicitly on three different occasions to mind her own business & back off. She doesn't care.

Too top it all off, Bill told me that he talked to her the other day. She told him that she bought Logan & Baby B matching pajamas so that she could take a picture of them for her Christmas card. I almost flipped my lid.

"What? Who does she think she is? This is totally over the line. We're taking pictures of our family for our Christmas Card. Why does she think taking a picture of someone elses baby & only the baby, for her card is appropriate? I'm tired of her trying to play mommy over & over again!"

Bill & I sat down & talked about it. Major brownie points on his part. He said that he would talk to her & I told him that if her children...the parents of the babies...were in the picture, it would be appropriate & I could compromise with that.

I don't know what else to do with this lady. We've talked to her over & over & over again. She says she's sorry, but her actions & behavior never change. To me, saying sorry & not changing is worthless. Now I feel like the gloves are off. She made a comment about the way my baby looks. She makes comments about my parenting choices. She doesn't respect boundaries or my role as a Mother. I'm not taking it anymore. If she does anything...anything at all. There will be words. Many of them.

****I just got a phone call from Aunt Ju-Ju. Baby B is breeched so they scheduled a c-section for early next week. Monday or Tuesday. Looks like we get visitors sooner than expected****

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

8 months old!
It is unbelievable that Logan is 8 months old. He has grown up so much. He sleeps well, eats everything that he tries & continues to be an incredibly active little boy.

He has been fantastic sleeping in his own room in the morning. As much as I miss waking up to him slapping my face, it's the best thing for all of us. He continues to sleep though the night, is easy to put down for naps & wakes up happy almost every time.

Breakfast is becoming a fun part of our day. Well, mealtime in general now that we're really focusing on sign language. I tell him & sign to him what he's eating, that it's hot when I take it out of the microwave, that he's eating with a spoon, drinks from a cup, etc. I pretty much sign everything in sentences. Logan knows exactly what I'm talking about. I can see it in his expression, even though he doesn't know how to sign back yet. He always gives me his big, wrinkled nose smile.

When he's not eating or sleeping, he's crawling all over the house, playing on the bottom stair, pulling himself up onto the couch or his walker & chasing after the animals. Another new crawling development...he takes his toys with him. He pushes his slipper, the remote control, a rattle, or whatever, along with him like a little toy car. I've mentioned to Bill that we should put little cars & rubber ducks in his stocking for Christmas. Logan would love it!

He is "talking" up a storm. It seems this goes in waves. Some days he's pretty quiet. Others, he's screaming (for fun) at the top of his lungs. He has figured out how to whisper as well. It is so funny to watch him play, whispering to himself. Bill & I laugh & whisper back, telling him "baby secrets". It's so cute how vocal he's getting to be.

We've been experiencing some stranger anxiety recently. It's not too bad. He still likes to hang out with Bill, but the other day was a little different. We went to Aunt Ju-Ju's third baby shower that was hosted by her in-laws. Uncle J's family hasn't had a baby in the family for a while, so they were a little grabby & baby crazy. Logan freaked out on them every time someone wanted to hold him & take him away. This was actually a time that I was grateful for stranger anxiety because I didn't like him being trotted off either. Other than that, he had fun walking around (with me holding his hands) & kicking balloons.

October, his eighth month, is going to be a really fun month. We're going to start "water babies" swim classes, story time at the library & our first Moms group meeting. I'm sure we'll have a ton of activities to go to. Then at the end of the month, my very favorite...Halloween! I can't wait to find a costume for his first Halloween. We're thinking of dressing him up like a lion because of his new wrinkled nose smile.

Life with Logan just keeps getting to be more exciting, more amazing & a lot more fun (not that it was ever boring). I love being a cute little family that hangs out together & enjoys all of what life has to offer. I just love our little man so much!

Monday, October 02, 2006

More baby proofing
Logan is all over the place & accident prone. Before we left for the farm this weekend, he did a face plant on the edge of the stairs. The day before that...a head butt on his blocks. His poor little noggin' is getting a lot of wear & tear. Bill has talked about getting Logan a baby crash helmet.

He also figured out how to take the outlet cover off of the socket. We need to replace all of the sockets because the outlets are loose. They don't keep the prongs in very well, which in itself is a fire hazard. But they don't hold the outlet cover in very snug either. While I was unloading the dishwasher, Logan showed me how he can take off the cover exposing the outlet so he can try to poke stuff in there. Nice.

He can also open all of the cupboards. It's not a big deal other than the one under the sink. At the house we were living in before, we had plenty of room to put cleaning solutions up high where he couldn't reach them. Now we don't have as much room & I have to keep the supplies under the sink. We're getting the locks tomorrow morning.

We've discovered another kitchen hazard this afternoon. Logan likes to pat on the kitchen garbage can. It's stainless steel & makes a funny reflection like a fun house mirror. He can entertain himself for quite a while over there. Well, the can has a foot petal that he's had his fingers caught in once before. He got them in there again this afternoon. His fingers were getting pinched so hard it left deep grooves on the tops. I felt so bad for him. He calmed down after a good cuddle though.

He hasn't mastered the climbing of the stairs yet, but he keeps trying. He's bumped his head a few times, so we tried looking for the table foam you can cut to size. You can only order it online here! So Bill ended up making a makeshift padding out of potholders & gym towels. It works really well & he joked saying he would sell it to anyone for $10. That's quite a steal, if you ask me.

I've mentioned before how we need to live in a plastic bubble because of our family allergies & my germaphobia (now that Logan is crawling & getting his hands into everything). Now I'm thinking we just need to live in a padded room. Or maybe wear helmets & knee pads.