Saturday, December 30, 2006

Getting ready to party!
Because our Christmas was such a downer, we're making up for it by having an extravagant New Years Eve. We were going to have a couple of friends drive up from Denver, but because of the ungodly amount of snow that's still around, it's not safe for them to make the hour & a half trek up here. So, it's just us. Which is still OK.

We've become such foodies since Logan's been born. We've been addicted to shows like Top Chef & many shows on the Food Network. Bill has to work tomorrow morning, but will be home early. He's going to make a spinach dip appetizer to start our evening off. We'll enjoy a couple of cocktails before dinner. Then it's surf & turf...steak & shrimp, followed by chocolate coconut sundaes. After that, at the stroke of Midnight, champaign. Yum!

We're so excited about our dinner. We've been total dorks & talking about while salivating since we planned it a few days ago. It's going to be great. I can't wait!

Friday, December 29, 2006

Bored? Lonely? Hmmm.
Logan has been incredibly tired today. He slept in until 8 ish. We hung out & watched Little Einsteins. I nursed him, leaving him with Bill & went to an appointment. I got home around 9:30, gave Logan breakfast & not much later, he went down for his morning nap. He didn't wake up until 12:45 pm. That's sleeping for almost three hours.

After he woke up, I nursed him again & waited for Bill to get home so we could switch. I had another appointment at 1 pm & Bill watched Logan on his lunch break. I got home, fed Logan lunch & played for a little bit. He was super tired again. He went down for another nap & has been asleep for a little over an hour. It must be all of the walking that's wearing him out.

So here I sit, pacing back & forth. Surfing the internet. Checking out different blogs. Bored out of my mind! I really don't feel like cleaning. That's no fun. Everyone is either at work, or snowed in from the second storm we endured last night. While I really enjoy some time to myself, some peace & quiet, I don't know what to do with it when I get it. It feels kind of pathetic.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

2006 year in review-Another crazy year!
January started the year out with the birth of our first baby boy. Logan's birth was & will always be the most amazing moment in my life. There aren't words to explain how I felt. They just don't do it justice.
The following weeks are a total blur. Faded memories clouded by fatigue, sleep deprivation & hormones. If it weren't for blogging, I wouldn't remember what happened for the rest of the year. There was a lot of laundry & I didn't take a shower on a regular basis. However, time flew by. It seemed as though every time Logan woke up from a nap, he grew up. It was a strange feeling realizing how fast life really does go by.
February was full of discovery. For us & for Logan. Bill & I were learning our new roles as parents while Logan was learning about the world around him. There were first stroller rides, a first trip to the store, doctors appointments & nick-names: Mr. Fussy Fuss. We were learning about Logan as a person while learning more about ourselves in the process. Mothering came easy for me. It was automatic. Breastfeeding, changing diapers, comforting my crying son. What was everyone complaining about? Parenting a newborn is difficult? It was hard work, but it was easy. Because I loved it.
There were difficulties in that first month though. It was the beginning of our issues with Grandma L. It was also the end of a life in our family. Our Beagle, Beck, passed from a seizure.

March brought more experience for all of us. The realities of parenthood became clear. It was more difficult than those first adrenalin fueled weeks where everything seemed easy. It was the beginning of lessons on patience & dealing with frustration. We survived growth spurts. Logan went to the chiropractor for the first time. We celebrated when Logan's umbilical stump finally fell off. We were in awe at how much Logan was like Bill. Our hearts melted when he started to coo. I was inspired to make up a very special lullaby just for our baby. It was a whirlwind of a new life.
I was so thankful that we were willing to do whatever possible so I could stay home with Logan. We made many sacrifices. Bill worked hard for our family & I wished we could have it all. I wished he could spend more time with us at home. Then it happened. The pay raise with more time off. It was too good to be true.

Bill & I also celebrated birthdays that month. My 26 th & his 28 th. Nothing like a birthday & being a new parent to make you feel old.

April came in like a lion & went out like a lamb. Logan started to sleep in his own room & did so wonderfully. He went in for his second month check up & received all of his scheduled vaccinations. He had a reaction that lasted a week. That was pure hell. The week after, he was feeling better & we went on our first family hike. It felt so good to get out & feel the fresh air again. Logan was a peach, sleeping for the majority of the time. When he was awake, he would look around at the trees & sky. This was also the month that we discovered Logan's sensitivity to dairy & soy. What great times we had scooping samples of baby poop out of a diaper to send to the lab for analysis.
As almost every new mom does, I chopped my hair relatively short. I donated my pony tail to Locks of Love. We also had a great day going to the zoo for the first time at the very end of that month.

Logan grew stronger everyday. His baby workout routine was fun & enabled him to crunch out of his swaddle. I wished that I was a strong as Logan when Bill & I talked about selling our brand new house. It was hard to think about, but easy to follow through knowing that this was just another sacrifice we had to make for the quality of our family life.

May was fun with the ever growing boy. He loved to play with his toys, smile & discover his hands & feet. Taking pictures of him was a part of our daily routine & it was so easy. He just sat there looking cute. There were more growth spurts, our first trip to the aquarium, more hiking & my first Mother's Day.

The middle of the month was very stressful. We had dealt with Paypal fraud where someone stole a good chunk of change from our checking account. Bill's job security was a little shaky & the possibility of me having to go back to work loomed above my head. We eventually got our money back & my worries were pushed back when Logan learned how to roll. We spent the end of the month swimming for the first time, taking care of rashes from the pool & reflecting on the anniversary of the positive pregnancy test.
June was the beginning of summer. It started out perfectly. Logan felt grass for the first time & laughed out loud when I sang "Head, Shoulder, Knees & Toes". He went to his fourth month check-up & we agreed that his rash was eczema. Lucky for him that it runs in the family. We talked about his vaccination reaction & made the decision to go with delayed single dose shots. He did great with that plan.

Bill & I celebrated our 7 th anniversary. It was a good time to look back on all of the highs & lows that we had been through. If there's one thing that changes a marriage, for better or for worse, it's the addition of a baby. Remembering all that we survived, it made the adjustment of our new life easier & helped us become stronger.

There was some excitement when we took our first road trip to visit Aunt Ju-Ju & Uncle J. Logan was quite mobile, rolling everywhere & began to sleep without being swaddled. He learned how to turn the music on for his crib toy & took a bath in the "big tub" for the first time. Bill celebrated his first Father's Day. Not too much later we went on our first family vacation to see Bill's family in North Dakota.
It was back to business for Logan in July. The vacation was over & he was ready to work on more milestones. He worked on trying to crawl. He played the keyboard for the first time. This was also the time I underestimated his mobility & he rolled down a flight of stairs. He was fine. I was not. My heart was bruised for days to come.
We found a gorgeous high chair & Logan started rice cereal. He also ate graham cracker on his first Independence Day. Logan wowed us by demonstrating that he learned how to call Kitty & Buddha over. He taught himself some sign language. We were amazed & quite proud of our little Einstein.

The end of the month was a challenge with trying to find a place to live & planning an out of town move. I began speaking with my dad again, mending a relationship that had been strained for 16 years.

August was the big move. Another change for our little family. It was one of the most stressful times in our lives. While I hated the house, I loved the town. After we got settled in, Logan began sleeping through the night. That was AWESOME. We had fun family times going to festivals, ice cream shops & checking out our new city. It was also another growing point for our marriage.
Logan decided that he was ready to crawl & pull himself up. He loved jumping in his jumperoo & exploring the outdoors. He's such an active little guy!

In September we had a visit with my dad & his girlfriend. They had a lot of fun meeting Logan for the first time. We did more family hiking & enjoyed our days at the park. Logan had some allergies from the change of seasons. He started watching morning cartoons & we went to another festival. There was a first cold & then our first time visiting the farm. We had so much fun in the petting zoo & getting lost in the corn maze.
October brought fall in with beautiful colors. We played in the leaves & dealt with the beginnings of stranger anxiety. We also welcomed the birth of Logan's cousin, Baby B. He was a few weeks early being born by c-section due to his breeched position.

After dealing with family drama, it was easy to delight in Logan's new tricks. He learned how to stand up & shake his head "no". We joined MOMS Club & met new friends to hang out with. There was the first snowfall where Logan was evidently over dressed. We had a blast at our first playgroup date. Logan got his second cold & started eating finger foods. There was more hoo-ha with the in-laws, but Logan's first Halloween faded those anxieties. Even though it was too cold to go trick-or-treating, we still had fun dressing him up in his adorable lion costume.
November got off to a rocky start. Bill lost his job, but we weren't too stressed about it. Logan made it easy by doing cute things like waving "bye-bye" & pushing all of his toys around like cars. We welcomed another cousin to the family, Baby M. She was born by emergency c-section. We were thankful that Aunt R & Baby M were OK.

Logan went in for his ninth month check-up & was the perfect little patient. He got a shot & did OK. We had our first embarrassing kiddo moment when Logan threw up at the MOMS Club meeting. Fortunately it was a one time thing.

Logan got his first tooth & tooth brush & went on another vacation to meet his Aunts & cousin Baby M for Thanksgiving. We had a really nice time with them. Our days were filled with fun with Logan learning how to talk & reading books to himself. The little smarty pants.
Logan learned how to clap in the beginning of December. He took his first steps. We went to our first music playgroup & had entirely too much fun. We saw that second tooth come in & celebrated the holidays with a party with the MOMS Clubbers. Then it hit us. The first flu. It got to Logan first. Even though he was terribly sick, he was still easy to live with. When it hit me, that was a different story. I think I whine too much when I'm sick. Then Bill got sick & we had an entire house full of sickies.

While being sick, we experienced Logan's first blizzard. It was a good time to be snowed in. These two events combined put a damper on our first Christmas. We were too sick to get a tree & very late in getting our cards & presents out. There was holiday drama with Bill's family, but we still had a good time celebrating Christmas Eve & Christmas Day as a little family. Logan loved all of his presents & they've kept him entertained for hours.

This year has been bitter sweet. It's been absolutely amazing melding together as a new family. We've learned so much about ourselves & about each other. It's been fulfilling. More than I ever expected. Our joys were accompanied by challenges. The loss of our new house, a move to a new town, a job loss & trouble with family dynamics.

I know 2007 will have some sweet surprises in store for us. I also know that we'll be thrown for some loops. I think the past year has helped us stick together so we can enjoy those good time & hang in there for the bad.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

46-47 weeks old
Logan's developments are fast & furious. Now that we're all feeling better from our bout with the flu, Logan's days are back on track. He's still waking up at 6 am to nurse, but considering that he lost weight, I'm not going to try to get him to sleep in yet. Once he goes back to bed, he stays there for a few more hours. This morning he woke up at 9 am & played with his new crib toy. It was a nice change to hear him playing rather than screaming at the top of his lungs for us to get him out.

His appetite is completely restored. He's eating great, except for now he's not that fond of broccoli, zucchini & yellow squash. It may be a texture thing. But he sure does love his peas & carrots. Post-flu, we've discovered that he likes saltine crackers. He never favored other crackers, like the whole wheat bunny crackers, or banana teething crackers. He would always feed them to Buddha. Yesterday I was eating some of the whole wheat saltines that we had. I gave Logan one & he stood there watching T.V. & nibbling on his cracker. It was way cute.

Another new thing is the end-of-the-world temper tantrums he has if you don't share any food. Bill bought pumpkin pie for Christmas dinner & we were both eating a slice. Logan threw a fit with huge tears streaming down his face. "Why don't you give him some? He can have pumpkin, can't he?", Bill asks. "Other than the fact that pumpkin pie is full of sugar, yeah. I guess he can have a taste", I replied. So Logan tasted pumpkin pie on Christmas & loved it. I figured it was a special occasion & a good time to try it for the first time.

He's been having a great time playing with all of his Christmas toys as well. He loves his chunky wooden puzzles, but the books are by far his absolute favorite. He will sit & read to himself, flipping pages. It's adorable & he looks so smart (because he is!). He's figured out how to turn on his busy ball popper. This toy is more work for me than anything. Balls go flying out all over the place & I have to chase after them to put them back down in the chute so they can pop out again. Logan is content once he has a hold of one ball. Then he sits there holding onto his ball watching me try to collect all of the others that are rolling around the house.

He is still clapping all of the time, but has also learned how to play peek-a-boo by himself. He covers his face with his hands while peeking out between his fingers. Sometimes he pokes himself in the eye. It's pretty funny.

He's getting better at walking everyday. He still cruises, but walks by himself across the room until he falls. Sometimes it's 4 or 5 steps, other times is 5 or 6 feet. He gets incredibly excited about this. It's like he knows he's about to do something special.

He's still really vocal, but no real words yet (we're thinking "Mom" was a one time deal). However, he understands everything I say, for the most part. I have to tell him "No" a few times, but he thinks that's funny & gives us a little grin. What a stinker!

It's going to be interesting to see what the next couple of weeks will be like. More teeth? A first word? Maybe a sprint across the room. He's halfway there already.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Literally tagged
Just before the holidays, I was tagged by Debra. Now that the hustle & bustle, flu & blizzard are gone, this is the perfect day for it.

Here's the story...

Find the nearest book. Name the Author & title. Turn to page 123. Post sentences 6-8. Tag three more people.

This is where everyone will see that my choice of literature is quite boring. I'm so not in to fiction. I read nerdy science stuff. But, I guess it's interesting to me! The book that is on the computer desk, waiting to be returned to the library (with a lovely late fee due to the blizzard & flu)...

Super Baby Food Book, by Ruth Yaron
Page 123, sentences 6-8: "I feed my baby this meal in the morning at around 8-9 am, after I've gotten the older kids off to school. The baby can wait to eat his breakfast because the milk feeding he drank upon awakening tides him through the early morning. The main meal includes egg yolk".

See! I told you! Totally nerdy & boring. Hopefully the three people I tag will have something better. Like Lizzy, Jezer & Alissa

Monday, December 25, 2006

Merry Christmas!
What a fun morning it's been! Well, it started off a little rough because Logan was quite cranky for a few early hours, but after breakfast he was set to watch cartoons & play with his Christmas toys. Bill & I were a little tired because last night we had coffee & cookies & stayed up really late (like 2 am late). This batch of cookies are delicious though. They were so good that Bill had to eat two of them in bed. I thought that was pretty amusing.

We spent the day just hanging out & relaxing. I was able to take a long nap while Bill played with Logan, then put him down for his nap. That was a much appreciated break. Bill made a great roasted chicken for dinner. It was really nice to just have a mellow, lazy day & it made for a good first Christmas.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

First Christmas Eve
Today was a nice day. I got all of the presents wrapped with Logan's help. He had a great time playing with wrapping paper & testing out his toys. Bill had to work this morning. He came home at 3:30 pm, but was home for only a quick second. The guy that built Logan's book case had just finished it this morning, so Bill went to go pick it up.

The book case is amazing. The guy used cedar wood from a fence that was 37 years old (& still in great shape). It has the perfect rustic look that matches Logan's boyscout room to a T. I'm going to have him build a matching toy box for Logan's first birthday.

After Bill got home with the book case, we sat in the living room & opened presents. Logan didn't really open them by himself. He needed a little help. He really liked all of his presents though & we played with them before dinner.
After dinner, we played with more toys & practiced walking. Logan walked by himself halfway across the room. He was so excited & quickly wore himself out. I got him ready for a bath with his growing flock of rubber ducks while Bill went to Aunt Ju-Ju's to visit with his family.

It's been a nice night & it will be capped with fresh from the oven cookies & coffee for Bill & myself. Tomorrow will be a relaxed pajama day (with new PJ's for Logan) & Bill plans on making a great dinner. I'm sure there's going to be a lot of playing with toys too! Hopefully I can get some good pictures because the ones from tonight didn't turn out that well.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Holiday drama
Well, it's been a while since there's been any major drama with Bill's family. The holiday visits are upon us & it's all unfolding now.

After the email exchange with Grandma L last week or so, Bill & I had a major sit down. We called in the reinforcements & from that day, our marriage & relationship has been amazing. A lot of things became clear to us & it helped to gain a different perspective on the situation.

Since then, there were a couple of emails that I received from Grandma L & Aunt Ju-Ju (who has become a side kick in the issue) trying their best to divide & separate Bill, Logan & I...unless things go their way. It was very difficult to not engage in the "email war", but with Bill's help & support we responded together saying that all we want is for Logan's first Christmas to be nice & we're willing to work on things.

Grandma & Grandpa L flew in on Friday. Bill went to dinner with all of them, being that it was Grandpa L's 60 th birthday. I was not invited & Bill left Logan home with me (smart man). After he came home, we talked about what was going to happen in the next couple of days. We really felt like a team & as nervous as I was about the visit (it didn't compare to how I felt about previous visits), I felt OK. I had done everything I could to work on the situation. I've always been willing to talk (without freaking out) & have sought a professional opinion (who completely validates how I feel). It was the other adults having temper tantrums like toddlers.

This morning Aunt Ju-Ju called & again told Bill that they would open presents tonight, but I wasn't invited. Bill reminded her that it's all or none. Shortly thereafter, Grandma L called to see if we would go to the toy store so she could buy presents for Logan & afterward we would meet up at the hotel they are staying in to talk. We agreed.

We met up with Grandma L to shop for Logan. Things were civil, but fake (& to be expected), but it went well. She bought some things that Logan will love to play with & keep him entertained for hours. He got a busy ball popper, a crib toy (AKA: entertainment center) & a wooden bead maze. We checked out & met up at the hotel.

We sat in the room with idle chit-chat, playing with Logan. He crawled on the bed, played with toys & cruised the room. We were there for quite a while & it was getting close to Logan's bed time. He was beginning to fall asleep on his toys. I started to pack the diaper bag & Grandma L said that we needed to talk before we left.

She wanted to know what we were going to do to resolve the situation. She wanted an immediate resolution. I explained that things are going to take time. "For an immediate resolution, I need people to take responsibility for their actions. That's not going to happen, so Bill & I are learning about different personalities in the family & their communication styles. At this point, I'm not comfortable being honest with you. I don't know how to communicate with you without having you offended & getting upset. Once we learn how communicate with everyone, we'll be able to start on a resolution. Right now, this is a work in progress & we don't have all of the answers".

There was a lot of back & forth, Grandma L crying, Grandpa L freaking out on me while I did my best to stay on point without re-hashing what was said over Halloween & Bill backing me up. I told them that we need to be respected as independent adults & that we don't want to be treated like children anymore. Grandma L was catching on to me hinting that I think they're controlling & manipulative with zero communication skills. She tried to get those words out of me. I resisted by saying, "I'm not going into detail until I learn how to communicate with you. It will only get everyone upset & make things worse. We are in the process of working on a resolution right now. It's just that these things take time & we've only just begun".

Then they wanted to know what happens from here. We talked about how we were willing to go over to Aunt Ju-Ju & Uncle J's to celebrate, but Aunt Ju-Ju needs to be on the same page with us. Otherwise, they could visit with them on the day they have planned & then they're more than welcome to come over to our house the next day to open presents with us. I told them, "One thing that won't be happening is the division of our family. We will all go, or none of us go".

Grandpa L said that that's not happening, freaked out on me again & stormed out of the room. I packed up the rest of the diaper bag, got Logan's coat, we said good-bye & left.

We got in the car with tears in my eyes. Bill held my hand telling me that everything would be OK. "Don't listen to my Dad. He doesn't know what he's talking about. He doesn't have any communication skills at all. It's like how I used to be". That moment meant so much to me.

We got home & I fed Logan dinner while Bill finished some last minute Christmas shopping. He came home with some burritos from my favorite place. Just before we were heading to bed, Bill got another scathing email from Aunt Ju-Ju. We just rolled our eyes figuring that we'll have a nice Christmas with or without them. This is a decision that they made & true colors are really showing.

Friday, December 22, 2006

Not only does the flu make you sick for a week, but it screws up a kids schedule...BIG TIME. Logan is having a hard time with his sleep schedule. He went to bed as usual at 8 pm, then woke up & cried for half an hour at midnight, 3 am, 6 am & 7 am. He was playing the part of Mr. Fussy Fuss all day & will receive an Oscar for his performance. It got to the point where I had to leave him crying in the living room so I could gather myself & take a breather. I took a shower. For 30 minutes. He was still crying when I got out. He cried for two hours straight as well.

He throws most of his food on the floor leaving Buddha to eat it. Logan has lost some weight this week ( I don't know how much, he's just much lighter & his clothes don't fit anymore) because of being sick & I'm kind of freaking out inside that our Pug is getting the nutritional benefits of the food rather than our son. We've gone back to a rigorous nursing schedule again. Every three hours. At least he's getting something.

He's fine if he's sitting on my lap cuddled up to watch T.V. That's all fine & dandy when we're snowbound & sick, but it's starting to feel like too much right now.

I'm not sure if this is the after effect of the flu or maybe he's going through some serious teething. He may also have an ear infection. He's tugged at one side a few times. It's not red & it looks normal though.

I hope that this only lasts a few more days (at the most!) because it feels like our nice little groove is gone. It took some time to get the flow going. I want it back for all of our sanity.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Colorado blizzard of '06
Holy crap, did we just get a ton of snow. The whole town shut down yesterday because of it. It stayed that way today too.

It was kind of fun watching the snow pile up on the deck in the back yard. We got snowed in from the back. Buddha is used to going out back, so I had to let him out the front door. The snow didn't pile up as much up there & there was room for him to move around. He didn't want to go outside. At all. I had to push him out & shut the door behind him so he would at least pee outside. The same thing happened this morning.

Bill woke up this morning feeling well enough to try & get into work. He called the gym. Nobody answered. After calling the manager, he was still going to try to make it later that afternoon. He took a step outside to asses the "damage". It looked like a lot of work. We watched all of our neighbors shovel their driveways & try to uncover their cars that they parked on the street. It took them hours.

We had to go to the store because the initial snow fall hit on our shopping day. Besides that, we were sick, sick, sick that day. So Bill had Uncle J come out to pick him up. They have a huge SUV, while we have a Subaru. Which is good, but low & Bill would've been stuck.

When Bill came back, he said that there's no way he's going to make it out of the neighborhood to get to work. The main roads are clear, it's just a matter of getting there though. We hung out & watched some other neighbors try to get down the street to only turn back around & stay home.

We watched movies, played with toys, watched more T.V. about how the whole state is in a state of emergency (which I'm going to drastically limit once everyone is better & we're not snowbound). Logan got a kick out of seeing it all pile up.
It was good that we had another snow day to give us some more recovery time. Bill will work on shoveling the driveway tomorrow because the plows are supposed to clear the neighborhood roads tonight or tomorrow morning. Logan & I will stay at home because there's no reason for us to go out. I'll probably make more of those buttery pistachio cookies.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

The third victim
The flu has claimed it's third victim in our house. Bill woke up this morning violently ill. Once again, Logan seems to be on the mend (knock on wood). He's nursed a few times, drank quite a bit from his sippy cup & is eating saltines by himself for breakfast. Last night I felt like I was taking two steps back & had to take another reglan. I woke up this morning still ill, but not nearly like I was at the beginning of the week.

Bill really felt like he needed to go into work today (that's the hard part of having commission only) because he missed the last two days taking care of us. There's a sever weather warning here where everything is shutting down. We're expecting two to three feet of snow. I guess today is better than any other to get sick. We're definitely going to have a white & ill Christmas.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

On the road to recovery
Man, has this been a crappy week so far. Yesterday Logan started to feel better, then out of nowhere, pukes all over the place. I was on my death bed & Bill had to go to work. Fortunately, he took the rest of the day off & took care of the both of us.

He was a genius & remembered that I had left over medication from the pregnancy. It wasn't the wonder-drug zofran, that literally saved my life & Logan's; but the reglan that I tried at first & it didn't work. Well, it worked last night. After Logan went to bed, I took one & was out like a light & not worshiping the bathroom like a holy temple.

I slept on the couch the whole night. Logan woke up at 5 am, I tried to get him back down. He relaxed until about 6:30 am. I got him up to nurse & cuddle on the couch. He wasn't going for it. After being hysterical for half an hour, I just put him back in his crib. He slept until about 7:30 am.

After that, he seemed to be OK. I was feeling better, albeit, very, very, very sore. I had enough energy (barely) to clean the bathroom & do some laundry. Then, after lunch, Logan hurls again. Bill seems to have been spared, so far.

It seems like just when Logan's feeling better, he's sick again. I have a feeling that this is going to take us through to Christmas. Speaking of which, we won't get our tree this year because it's too much of a hassle right now. I haven't wrapped any of Logan's presents, or sent any out for that matter. PLUS...the in-laws are coming.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Well guess who has the flu now. Me. This really sucks. I've been up all night, all day, every minute being sick. I can't even keep water down. This is where I really need help. It's incredibly difficult to take care of Logan when I don't even have the energy to get up the stairs.

Bill had to go to work today, but is coming home early. Thank God. This reminds me of how sick I was during the pregnancy & let me tell you...the first thing that came to my mind was that Logan is going to be an only. I don't think I could live like this again for another nine months. That was just a flat out miracle that we survived. Really. Hopefully there's another miracle coming & I get better by tonight.

Logan is better though. He hasn't been sick since yesterday morning. He's just really tired. I don't blame him. He was able to eat banana for breakfast just fine too.

***Christmas Notice For Family: It looks like everyone is getting their cards & presents before the New Year. SORRY!***

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Day two of the flu
Since the post from yesterday, Logan threw up three or four more times last night. It's so heart breaking as a Mom to watch your baby endure illness & there's nothing you can do to fix it. All I could do was sit with him, hold a towel for him to throw up in & rub his head & back.

He didn't nurse too often yesterday, maybe twice. We pumped him full of Pedialyte, which he really liked. But, that didn't stay down very often. He was still his happy little self, playing & walking, chasing Kitty & climbing over Bill. He did sleep through the night & without getting sick.

My hopes were high for him this morning because of that. He woke up at about 7 am. We hung out in the living room to watch cartoons & cuddled. He played some more. After a few hours I decided he was probably OK to nurse. He ate well & kept playing. Bill left for work at 10:30 am & I thought that Logan was in the clear. We were just going to lay low, watch the snow fall outside & read books.

Then it started all over again. He got tired & wanted to snuggle more. I hugged him while we were sitting on the couch with his head buried in my shoulder. He then leaned over & puked all over the couch.

I got him cleaned up & cleaned off the couch (thank God for microfiber). Shortly after everything was clean, he hurled again. I got everything cleaned up again. We sat on the tile of the entry way by the front door. He drank some more Pedialyte, played with toys & cuddled. I was talking to his Aunt J on the phone, then he puked again.

I cleaned everything up, checked his temp & called the advice nurse. His temp is fine, his attitude is great (he really is a little trooper) & he's not dehydrated. The nurse said to keep up with what we're doing & if he can't keep anything down after 8 hours or if his behavior changes, then bring him in. Hopefully we won't have to see the Doctor tomorrow morning.

***Christmas Notice for Family: We haven't mailed out our cards or presents yet. We were supposed to do that yesterday. We hope to get them out by Tuesday. Everyone might be getting their stuff late this year***

Saturday, December 16, 2006

This morning Logan woke up at 8 am. When I walked in his room, I noticed that he threw up. He didn't have a fussy night, except for a little whine at midnight or so, but he quickly fell back asleep. So I'm not sure how long he had been in his crib while being sick. I felt really bad for him. I got him undressed, cleaned up & nursed him under a blanket. Then I got him in the tub.

He had a great time in the bath. He didn't act sick at all. I got him dressed & brought him down into the living room to play while I washed his sheets & pajamas. After an hour he seemed just fine. I thought it might have been a one time deal, maybe his stomach didn't feel good from dinner. I made him some breakfast, thinking that we were in the clear.

He ate almost all of it. He played some more, pushing his walker around. Then he started to get pretty tired. He kind of flopped from my lap to Bill's & just seemed exhausted. I put him down for a nap.

After 20 minutes, he cried for a second & went back to sleep. Or so I thought. It was quiet, but I thought I should check on him. I walked in with him awake & covered in his breakfast. I got him cleaned up again, washed his sheets, again & sent Bill to the store for some Pedialyte. It looks like we might have the first flu on our hands.

So here I am with little sicky. Other than being tired, he seems fine. Not really grumpy, not crying all of the time. Just tired & wanting to cuddle. I feel so bad for him. Being sick is the pits.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Here we go!
Logan is getting the hang of walking. He's taking more steps everyday & gets so excited about it. We practice everyday (almost all day long, until he gets tired of it), then he resorts to "crab walking" on his hands & feet. He gets into a standing position without pulling up onto anything. He also does "downward dog" looking at everything upside down. I'm halfway expecting to see him just up & walk around any day now.

I am so proud of him. I actually teared up while cheering him on yesterday. I'm such a dorky Mom.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Baking up a storm
Now that Bill & I are working on a plan of action for handling holiday madness, my appetite is back & I've been doing some baking. This is one perk that I love about MOMS club. I get to bake yummy stuff all of the time. It's a great excuse.

A while back, I made pumpkin chocolate chip hazelnut cookies for a baby shower. They were delicious! This past weekend was the family holiday party. It was a brunch potluck & I made a French toast casserole. Granted, I didn't eat much there at the time, but it was really good. Then yesterday was a cookie exchange. I made buttery pistachio cookies. Totally yummy.

Every family has traditional foods & cookies that someone makes every year for the holidays. I think the pumpkin & pistachio cookies will be part of ours from now on. The next baking project will be Logan's birthday cake & food for his birthday party. I'm really excited about that.

For anyone who wants to try them out (& for future reference for myself), here are the recipes:

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Hazelnut Cookies
Just mix in chocolate chips & chopped hazelnuts (no other nut compares!)

Marmalade French Toast Casserole
This is super sweet & really good

Buttery Pistachio Cookies
Dip or drizzle them in white chocolate for the best combo of sweet & salty

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

44-45 weeks old
Well, it's been a fun few weeks in development over here. He's still sleeping great. Down at 8 pm & up at about 7 am. Naps are getting longer (sometimes), an hour to two hours. He's eating all table food, all by himself. We figured that he doesn't like Cheerios or crackers & feeds them to Buddha. However, he loves cheese, fruit & veggies. I've taught the boy well.

Logan is always on the move. He never stops. He crawls laps around the living room, back & forth, as fast as he can. He cruises the couch at a sprinting speed. He gets into everything. His favorite thing to do (that also makes him laugh pretty hard) is to make a mess. He will sit with his blocks then start throwing them everywhere, waving his arm through them. He pulls himself up on his push-walker & walks laps as well. He screams when he gets stuck, but has figured out how to back up & turn around. Sometimes he needs help though.

He's more vocal, but not really forming words. He found out that when he emptied his bucket of blocks, he could "talk" into the bucket & make funny noises. We had a good time sitting together talking into the bucket. He likes to sick his thumb in his mouth & say, "eyea, eyea, eyea, eyea, eye", over & over. He is making distinctive grunts & squeaks when he finds something, or makes some kind of discovery.

He learned how to clap & does it all the time. It's really cute when he claps at meal times, or when he thinks we aren't watching him. He sit & clap & watch his hands very carefully. It's so cute.

His second tooth as cut through. It's the bottom right. He looks adorable with his two teeth. When I sing to him, I sing, "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth". He laughs, which makes me really laugh.

When Logan gets fussy or antsy, I've found that he really likes to hear me tell stories. Yesterday I was too busy to read him a book, but I made up stories to tell him while I was cooking or whatever. He stopped crying after a while & smiled. Then he forgot all about what he was fussy over & crawled away to play.

He's having a great time at playgroup. He crawls around with other kids, plays with toys next to them & is just very interactive. I'm so happy we joined the club. It's been so much fun for him.

One thing I've noticed this week, is his potential to become a T.V. zombie. With the drama of the last week, I was less than stellar with my playing skills. All I wanted to do was plop on the couch & watch endless amounts of T.V. Logan played, but if the T.V. was on, he would stop every now & then & veg out with me. While I didn't really care about it this last week, I know that this can be a really bad habit & hard to break. This week I'm being more mindful of when it's on & what is on. I'm going to play more Christmas music for distraction.

Everywhere we go, people tell us how cute Logan is. The Moms at MOMS Club just adore him. Logan is one special little kiddo. I love him to pieces.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Calling in reinforcements
It never occurred to me how stressful the holidays could be when you have a baby...& have to deal with the rest of the family. I've lost about five pounds (I'm guessing) because Grandma L sent me a little email (that wasn't completely nice).

A few weeks ago, she had the idea that after calling me names & cutting me off from the family last month or so, that I should be the one to send her an email. I told Bill no way. I want an apology for her tantrum or we're spending Christmas Eve without them. They can come on Christmas Day, but we'll be opening Santa gifts without them.

That apparently got her attention, because she sent this email to me last week. While she did apologize for calling me names, the rest of the email was very passive aggressive & snotty. I could tell she didn't want to send it in the first place.

I wracked my brain about how I was going to respond. I felt like anything I said was going to be offensive to her, because she only wants to hear that things will go her way. I asked Bill for help. "Do what you have to do. I just want it over with". That really didn't help me too much. I felt like I was thrown to the wolves to fend for myself.

So, after sitting on this email for a week (staying up at night thinking about how I could put it nicely that we're going to have boundaries, whether she likes it or not), I decided that I just have to respond honestly. So I did. And she didn't like that too much. Go figure.

It's become very clear how this is affecting our marriage. Which I don't write about very often. But, it's time that we call in reinforcements to help us deal with the shenanigans that are going on so we can be a team & cope a little bit better this holiday season. That gives me some hope.

PS- Thanks for the thoughtful comments. They made me smile. Which I really needed to do.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Not much to say
There's not much to write about, other than the doom & gloom that's going on over here. It's been a really difficult week. I occasionally use the blog as a venting forum, but I don't feel like writing about it right now. I haven't had anything to eat for a couple of days & I'm loosing weight. Not really the right way, so it's not exciting.

I'll write something happy in the next couple of days, like how Logan's second tooth is starting to become visible or new developments that he's achieving. It just might take me a day or two.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Toys, toys, toys
We've been busy shopping over here. It's a lot a of fun. Logan will have quite the collection of rubber ducks for bath time, cars to push around, a hammer that lights up & makes noise, a harmonica & wooden peg puzzles. There are a few things that we're still going to get for him.

There is a crib toy that I want to get so Logan will stay entertained when he wakes up early. I have to order his red Radio Flyer wagon online. The ones that they have in the store are plastic. We want to get the old school wagon like Bill & I used to have as kids. We also want to get him a bookcase. Bill was going to make one before winter started, but Mr. Procrastination over here let it slide. I put an ad on Craigslist & someone offered to make one for us at a reasonable price. Then to top it all off, Bill had the great idea of getting a fish for Logan. I thought that was genius. Logan loves animals & we thought it would be so cute to say good-night to his fish before bed.

There's a lot more, but I think we'll wait for his birthday to get the rest. It's not that much later after Christmas anyway. I might be able to find some good sales. Which brings me to a funny thought I had the other day while doing some shopping online....

I was looking through the toys that were on sale. The first thing I thought of was The Island of Misfit Toys. I haven't watched the video in years, but looking at toys that were on clearance just made me think of the defective & unwanted toys on the island. I laughed, then decided I didn't want to buy any toys on clearance. Yeah, I'm weird.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Music playgroup
Today Logan & I went to our first music playgroup. It was on the MOMS club calender as a demo class to let us get a feel for it & see how our kids liked it. The class goes for $54 for nine weeks. There is also a three week mini playgroup that goes for $18. I've wanted to find a music class for Logan just because he loves to play with instruments so much. This was something we couldn't miss today.

Logan was the youngest one there again, but that didn't stop him from having a really good time. The class started right in the middle of his morning nap. I thought he might get grumpy, but nope. He was good & didn't fuss at all. He was very well behaved.

We started out siting in a circle & singing songs. We played with instruments, scarves & balls, danced around & had a lot of fun. Logan was incredibly cute. He stood there (by himself), right along with the "bigger" kids, shaking bells & egg shakers. He played with drums. He clapped his hands. He loved it.

He liked it so much that we're going to sign up for the next session (at the end of winter-early spring). Logan will be quite the social butterfly going to two playgroups a week.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Two steps!
This afternoon while Bill was at work, Logan & I were playing in the living room. We've been practicing walking for a couple of weeks now. He loves to walk with his push walker, doing laps back & forth until he gets so tired he can't stand up anymore. Well, we decided to ditch the toy & try some unassisted walking...AND HE DID IT!

He stood up, clapping & I held out my hands. He took two steps towards me, all by himself. I was so excited & so was he. So excited that he quickly crawled over to the couch & cruised laps back & forth along the side, literally running. He kept laughing & giggling & side stepping, running away when I asked him to walk over to me. It was so funny. We both couldn't stop laughing.

I sent Bill a text message telling him what had just happened & tried to see if Logan would do it again. This boy is as stubborn as I am. We're in for some trouble. He does things on his own terms, on his own time. We practiced & played some more until he was so tired he was almost falling asleep on the floor. Hopefully he'll be rested enough for when Bill comes home for lunch.

Well, it looks like I have some videography homework to do. Filming playtime, clapping & now walking. This is a blast!

Saturday, December 02, 2006

This is fun
Logan has learned how to do a couple of new things in the last two days. First, he's been saying, "mmmbabababab", over & over & over. It's pretty darn cute. He does it all the time, where ever we are.

Then this evening after we got home from Christmas shopping, I was at the computer looking into items that we couldn't find in the stores, Bill was sitting behind me on the futon & Logan was crawling around, being loud & cute. "Hey! He's clapping", Bill says, trying not to be loud & distract Logan. I look over & there he is looking at us & laughing & clapping. It was hysterical. "Good job sweetie pea!", I almost yell with excitement & Bill & I start clapping along with him. Logan got a kick out of that.

So now he will clap (if he feels like it). It's way cute & I have quite the list of things to video tape. Hopefully I'll be able to get them in the next couple of days.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Today I was going to write about how crazy I am
However, I changed my mind. We all know it anyway, so it's not a newsflash or anything. Let's just put it this way. I think I have OCD, or OCPD, or whatever. How did I come to this conclusion?

I switched to Beta the other day. What's the problem? The labels. What's wrong with the labels? Nothing, other than the rest of the blog entries didn't have them. So what did I do? I went through the entire blog, all 300 or so of them & labeled every singe one. Not once. Twice. Why? I had to go back & "double check" my work & correct some labeling mistakes.

It was then that I realized I'm certifiably crazy. It could have been worse though. I could have gone back & corrected all of my spelling mistakes from the early entries. Because there are many of them. This was when Logan was a newborn & I was running on empty. I had no brain cells to spare. Maybe I still don't, but there are a ton of mistakes.

So, I was going to write about how I had to do this, because the blog didn't feel right otherwise. But, like I said....this old news. I'm crazy & there's no changing it. Medication is out of the question. I don't feel like I'm that crazy.

So for my enjoyment & twisted sense of "balance", everything is labeled from day one. The good thing about it was going through the last year & seeing Logan's newborn pictures. How much he's changed, all of the challenges we've been through, just looking back at our life as a new family. Everything that's happened this year? Now, that's crazy.