Holiday drama
Well, it's been a while since there's been any major drama with Bill's family. The holiday visits are upon us & it's all unfolding now.

After the email exchange with Grandma L last week or so, Bill & I had a major sit down. We called in the reinforcements & from that day, our marriage & relationship has been amazing. A lot of things became clear to us & it helped to gain a different perspective on the situation.

Since then, there were a couple of emails that I received from Grandma L & Aunt Ju-Ju (who has become a side kick in the issue) trying their best to divide & separate Bill, Logan & I...unless things go their way. It was very difficult to not engage in the "email war", but with Bill's help & support we responded together saying that all we want is for Logan's first Christmas to be nice & we're willing to work on things.

Grandma & Grandpa L flew in on Friday. Bill went to dinner with all of them, being that it was Grandpa L's 60 th birthday. I was not invited & Bill left Logan home with me (smart man). After he came home, we talked about what was going to happen in the next couple of days. We really felt like a team & as nervous as I was about the visit (it didn't compare to how I felt about previous visits), I felt OK. I had done everything I could to work on the situation. I've always been willing to talk (without freaking out) & have sought a professional opinion (who completely validates how I feel). It was the other adults having temper tantrums like toddlers.

This morning Aunt Ju-Ju called & again told Bill that they would open presents tonight, but I wasn't invited. Bill reminded her that it's all or none. Shortly thereafter, Grandma L called to see if we would go to the toy store so she could buy presents for Logan & afterward we would meet up at the hotel they are staying in to talk. We agreed.

We met up with Grandma L to shop for Logan. Things were civil, but fake (& to be expected), but it went well. She bought some things that Logan will love to play with & keep him entertained for hours. He got a busy ball popper, a crib toy (AKA: entertainment center) & a wooden bead maze. We checked out & met up at the hotel.

We sat in the room with idle chit-chat, playing with Logan. He crawled on the bed, played with toys & cruised the room. We were there for quite a while & it was getting close to Logan's bed time. He was beginning to fall asleep on his toys. I started to pack the diaper bag & Grandma L said that we needed to talk before we left.

She wanted to know what we were going to do to resolve the situation. She wanted an immediate resolution. I explained that things are going to take time. "For an immediate resolution, I need people to take responsibility for their actions. That's not going to happen, so Bill & I are learning about different personalities in the family & their communication styles. At this point, I'm not comfortable being honest with you. I don't know how to communicate with you without having you offended & getting upset. Once we learn how communicate with everyone, we'll be able to start on a resolution. Right now, this is a work in progress & we don't have all of the answers".

There was a lot of back & forth, Grandma L crying, Grandpa L freaking out on me while I did my best to stay on point without re-hashing what was said over Halloween & Bill backing me up. I told them that we need to be respected as independent adults & that we don't want to be treated like children anymore. Grandma L was catching on to me hinting that I think they're controlling & manipulative with zero communication skills. She tried to get those words out of me. I resisted by saying, "I'm not going into detail until I learn how to communicate with you. It will only get everyone upset & make things worse. We are in the process of working on a resolution right now. It's just that these things take time & we've only just begun".

Then they wanted to know what happens from here. We talked about how we were willing to go over to Aunt Ju-Ju & Uncle J's to celebrate, but Aunt Ju-Ju needs to be on the same page with us. Otherwise, they could visit with them on the day they have planned & then they're more than welcome to come over to our house the next day to open presents with us. I told them, "One thing that won't be happening is the division of our family. We will all go, or none of us go".

Grandpa L said that that's not happening, freaked out on me again & stormed out of the room. I packed up the rest of the diaper bag, got Logan's coat, we said good-bye & left.

We got in the car with tears in my eyes. Bill held my hand telling me that everything would be OK. "Don't listen to my Dad. He doesn't know what he's talking about. He doesn't have any communication skills at all. It's like how I used to be". That moment meant so much to me.

We got home & I fed Logan dinner while Bill finished some last minute Christmas shopping. He came home with some burritos from my favorite place. Just before we were heading to bed, Bill got another scathing email from Aunt Ju-Ju. We just rolled our eyes figuring that we'll have a nice Christmas with or without them. This is a decision that they made & true colors are really showing.