Let the laboring begin
I think this is it. Contractions have been pretty strong all evening & they've really started to pick up in intensity for the last hour or so. If this is the real deal, I'm going to try & labor at home as long as I can so Logan can stay & sleep in his own bed tonight. I haven't begun timing contractions yet, but I've frantically begun packing the rest of the hospital bag. I'm getting Carter's coming home outfit washed (as well as a load of Logan's clothes) & I never got to making the cupcakes (damn it!). I've canceled my training session for the morning & emailed photographer friend to let her know to be "on call" just in case I can't hold out until the morning. I knew this would happen in the middle of the night!!!!!

So, I'm contracting, doing laundry & hopefully getting ready to go to the hospital at sunrise. This has to be it, because if it's not - damn. I'm in for a long ride.

Change is in the air
Things are beginning to happen. Whether it will be fast or continue to be painfully slow, only time will tell. We had another pajama day & I was going to make the family celebration cupcakes with Logan earlier (I'll probably get started on them here in a few minutes), but I haven't been too motivated to do anything really.

I lost what I hope is the rest of my mucous plug this morning (I don't think I had a membrane sweep at my last OB appointment, but she sure did get things moving out) & to top it all off, I've been having more deep menstrual-like cramps after I showered. It's nothing I can time yet, but things are different today...

38 weeks today
Mellow, gloomy, overcast day. Coffee, naps & pajamas. Another Portland-type Friday. I've been catching up on laundry, watching ungodly amounts of cartoons with Logan & just getting the house put together. Moving slowly in every way, making the term "a watched pot never boils" ring true. A watched uterus never dilates.

It also feels kind of strange to have most of our home projects completed. Our "home days", while relaxing, are incredibly boring & I find myself almost twiddling my thumbs. When procrastinating on house work, I'm getting pre-occupied with politics & discussions being had all around. My blood pressure rises a bit. Maybe that will get the contractions to do something!

*Taking belly pictures this afternoon, but will need Bill's help with editing on the laptop since our desktop took a dirt nap earlier this week*

Baby Shower!
This morning was my baby shower, hosted by photographer friend. There was a huge turn out with most of The Club in attendance (which was flattering) & lots & lots of yummy food to snack on. She picked up an ice cream cake from Cold Stone - chocolate cake with coffee ice cream, chocolate gnash frosting & almonds on top. Oh, so yummy. We had a great time just chatting, hanging out & grazing on the buffet of food. We didn't play any games - I said it wasn't necessary since I think they're kind of cheesy. The kids had a lot of fun playing outside in the back yard. We were really lucky to have such beautiful weather.

There were about 20 people there & more kids since almost everyone has two. It was a full house & everyone was so thoughtful & generous with their gifts. I felt INCREDIBLY lucky to have found such a great Club & to have made so many wonderful friends. I can't imagine what I would do without some of my closest friends that I've made (photographer friend & massage friend, for sure).

There were pictures taken, but not by me - I'll post them when I get them.

The end of summer
All of the kids have gone back to school this week, the weather has been gradually getting cooler & bikini season is officially over. Oddly, this year I really liked bikini season while being pregnant (before stretch marks got a little crazy). I guess it's more fun to wear when your stomach is supposed to be big. I would have never gone without the board shorts though because my butt looks horrific at this point. This is probably the last time I'll wear this number again until next summer (when I better be at pre-pregnancy size).

35 weeks pregnant


Belly Hugs

New hair cuts & cute smiles

Misty-eyed with pictures
I've really been trying to help Logan get prepared & excited for Carter's arrival. We ask him about his little brother, if he's going to be a good Big Brother & help me out, ask him if he knows his little brother's name ("Sister!") & really just talk about Carter often.

Logan seems to be getting more & more excited as time goes on. He's fascinated with babies (& we've had quite a few born in The Club this year) & he smiles at them when they are in their infant seats. This morning at playgroup we had four babies, all younger brother/sisters of Logan's friends; a five month old, a four month old, a twelve week old & a three week old. He was curious about them all & happy that they were at playgroup with his pals. It was pretty cute. At the end while everyone was getting packed up & ready to leave, Logan went over & looked at one of the babies on the couch. "That's a nice baby", he said. Talk about adorable.

After playgroup I decided to find some videos of newborns so he could see what Carter would look like when he came home from the hospital. Logan sat with me excitedly, watching babies on the laptop. "Babies!", he shouted. "Baby sister! That's Carter!". Then he leaned over & patted my belly & gave his little brother a big hug. It melted my heart & of course I got teary & choked up.

On that note, here are the latest pictures of our little guy waiting for his Big Day at 33 weeks...

32 weeks pregnant
It's been a few weeks since I last took some belly shots & I figured I should get some regardless of how tired I am. I have five more weeks to keep this kid in until it's OK for him to come out. I haven't washed any of his clothes, put up his crib, had our pack & play returned from Aunt Ju-Ju (who used it for Cousin B) or pretty much anything important for his arrival. I'm starting to freak out about it because I've wanted to do these things for months but Bill keeps thinking we still have time. I don't think so anymore & hopefully we can get things done in the next week.

Yes, you're getting a partial butt/hip flash. Whatever.

Better late than never
I'm a tad bit behind on posting some of the belly shots. I'm 30 weeks & have yet to post weeks 28 & 29 - until now!

28 weeks & a new hair cut


Looking & feeling pregnant now


Carter is all up in my rib cage here & the day I had to get my ribs popped back into place


Funky belly button shape


SO CUTE!

I feel bigger than I look
Yesterday was the first time I felt uncomfortably pregnant. Heart burn, walking with a slight waddle, excessively tired & a belly in the way. Yesterday, I looked pregnant - not just fat. Then I take some pictures this afternoon & although I have more of a belly than the previous weeks, it's nothing that should slow me down. I guess I just feel bigger than I look & I have an amazing shrinking & growing stomach.

Logan was not able to join me in this picture series because he was refusing to nap & slamming his door a million times (bribes weren't working today). The smile on my face is that of a crazy mom about to snap. It's a good thing I feel more pregnant than I look because it stops me from running up the stairs to yell at him. I'm too tired to do anything & this makes it easier to ignore him, even though I'm sure he's about to bust a hole in the door. At this point - I don't care anymore. Whatever. He better be thanking his little brother for saving his butt.

What do you know?! I'm wearing something other than workout clothes!


See it now?


22 weeks pregnant

I just look fat
I have a weird body shape where my hips are higher than average & my waist is pretty short. There's not much distance between my ribcage & my hipbones. This odd shape only gets worse during pregnancy. I feel both my hips AND my ribcage widening. I think my kids are confusing my diaphragm for my uterus. Just like with Logan, I'm carrying high so it doesn't look like I'm pregnant, I just look fat.

At least with this pregnancy, I don't really care so much about the body changes & I'm not bursting into tears when I see my butt in the mirror (even though it's not a pleasant site right now). I pretty much shrug my shoulders & tell myself that I guess I'll have some work to do in the gym after the baby is born. It's not a shocker. At least I know what I'm doing & it isn't going to take too long to get back into shape.

19 weeks pregnant

20 weeks pregnant

27 months old & 20 weeks pregnant
This kid is all about hugging pictures - I love it!

In between
Saturday night Bill & I went out for Date Night. As I was getting dressed, I noticed that my jeans were getting a little too tight. I kept them on & continued to put on my make-up & get Logan ready to go to the sitters. It didn't take long for me to realize that if I was going to eat any food on our date, the pants would have to go.

Fortunately I was smart enough to keep my maternity clothes, what little I had. Bill always makes fun of me for getting rid of stuff & during the time that I swore Logan was going to be an only, I'm shocked that I kept them. I put on my maternity jeans & holy crap - were they baggy & falling off my waist. I still wore them out to dinner, even though I kept having to hike them up every five seconds. I wore them again when we ran errands & it felt like they were hanging half way off my butt - saggy pants style (gag).

I'm stuck. I don't fit my regular clothes, but I don't fit my maternity clothes at all. It seems as though I'll be wearing my workout clothes all week (& how is this different than any other week?). I'm not a fan of the rubber band trick (I can just see that thing snapping me in the belly button) & I'm sure as hell not going to spend $25 on a Bella Band, seeing as though I wouldn't spend that much money on even one pair of maternity pants. Ugh. Maybe I'll have to.

So, this week I'm rockin' the workout clothes then going shopping this weekend for clothes that will fit me better & hopefully last longer than a month.

Possibly another rambunctious future soccer player
Wednesday night after picking Bill up from work, we decided to go grocery shopping to take advantage of "double sale day" at our local grocer. We had been talking about coffee & how much I've missed it. Our grocery store usually has their store brand samples out (it's a farmers market kind of store) & I thought after not having had coffee since December, a sample cup would hurt anything. But, they were out. However, they do have a coffee shop inside & after deciding that I was out of the first trimester, there's no longer a risk of neural tube defects or an increased risk of miscarriage, one latte isn't a pregnancy sin.

Oh, was the cup of coffee so, so good. After our shopping trip, I just felt all warm & tingly - like a coffee hug. I realized how much I missed my morning coffee even more.

Later that night as Bill & I were sitting on the couch watching TV, I felt some jumping around in the belly. "I think I just felt the baby kick." I said, but not really quite sure. 15 1/2 weeks is kind of early to feel any kicking. I felt Logan at 17 weeks & even that was a little early. As the night went on, I kept feeling kicking & there was no other explanation. My baby was bouncing off my uterus, no thanks to the cup of coffee, I'm sure.

I wasn't 100% sold that I would feel the kicking again, but everyday since then I have. This isn't the "butterfly flutters" pregnancy books often describe fetal movement as. This is a full on thrust or solid kick to the gut. It's not uncomfortable at this point, but I think we're looking at another boy who will be just as feisty as Logan (Good God. Help me now). Logan used to kick the crap out of me & got so strong that his kicks literally made me jump off my seat. If this baby is kicking this strong & this soon....wow.

15 weeks pregnant

I'm not sure if I have a bump yet, but if you squint really, really, really hard, you might just see it. It will be interesting to see how much the belly grows in the next 5 weeks because I'll be at the half way point then. I still feel like I'm sort of pregnant & have nothing to show for it. By the look of my stomach, you could call that a large lunch. Not a baby.

*Excuse the disheveled look. This was taken after running Logan to school, going to the gym for a quick workout & then going to swimming lessons. Busy days mean low maintenance looks!*

I cried, of course
This afternoon I had my "first" prenatal appointment (the others were emergency visits for medication). It was a really quick appointment with us not having any questions or concerns, thus making it even faster.

I'm now 12 weeks along, so the main purpose was to hear the heart beat. I was dressed in the exam gown with Logan sitting on Bill's lap looking at pictures of cartoon characters on his phone. I just had a physical days before I got the positive test, so other than blood pressure (110/70) & weight (gained another pound this week making it a total of 4 pounds since lunch at Cheesecake Factory), it was all about the doppler.

The heart beat was very strong, very easy to find & hear. Immediately a huge feeling of relief washed over me & the pregnancy became a little more real. With a big sigh, tears streamed down my face as I tried not to start full on sobbing. "It wasn't all for nothing", my OB said as she smiled & handed me a few tissues.

Exactly. Being this sick for so long wasn't all for nothing. It was a big fear for me that we might not hear the heart beat & all of this suffering was pointless, then I would have to do it all over again.

Everything is going well so far. A strong heart beat, HG subsiding leaving me nauseous mostly at night & I'm back to taking care of Logan again at bedtime (not to mention getting the house put together after the move). Things are finally getting back to normal.

The funniest part about being sick
When I was sick in the first pregnancy with Logan, we were living in an apartment while we waited for our new house to finish being built. We had two bathrooms, one in the master bedroom & one off the second bedroom. The dogs stayed in the second bathroom while we were gone during the day (it was pretty much like their own room) & during pregnancy, it had a distinct dog smell. That meant that when I felt sick, I only used our master bathroom.

When our house was built, we had two & a half bathrooms. There was the master bath, the second bath & a half bath on the main floor. I mainly used two bathrooms while sick (the master & the half bath). I soon discovered how nice it was to have a designated "sick" bathroom & declared the half bath as my own. Nobody else could use it but me. It was great.

In the house we're in now, we have one & a half bathrooms. When I found out that my insurance company was being stingy with the medication, I freaked out & cleaned the bathroom by our bedrooms spotless. When preparing to get sick, I wanted a bathroom where I could sleep on the floor if I needed to (yeah, it gets that bad). The only problem was that my designated "sick" bathroom is the most used bathroom in the house. It's the family bathroom with the only tub/shower in the house. It's kind of hard to kick everyone else out of it.

So, I only required one rule from everyone when it came to my sick bathroom. No Pooping. If you had to poop, use the bathroom downstairs. We thought it was pretty funny & Bill was very supportive about it, even making himself a reminder:

Yes, we live in a house with a "No Pooping!" sign on our bathroom door. We've yet to have any company since it's been posted, but we're hosting playgroup next week & then there's Logan's birthday party next weekend. I think I'll have to take the sign down & give the rule a break for those two days. However, the sign has totally helped Bill follow this one bathroom rule & it will be reposted once we aren't hosting playgroup or having parties.

If things work out & we do move into our new house, we will have three & a half bathrooms. I will be able to take over two bathrooms & claim them to be my sick bathrooms if I want. Which I totally will. And we won't need the "No Pooping!" signs for them.

First appointment
Yesterday morning I had my first appointment with the OBGYN's office. This was just an intake appointment were they ask you every question under the sun & take blood. Unlike my first appointment when I was pregnant with Logan, I did not meet the Doctor & I did not have an ultrasound (bummer!).

The intake nurse was super nice, giving Logan toys & a blue sucker to keep him entertained during our appointment. The purpose of the intake is to answer any questions, solve any problems & help the soon-to-be mom with anything they need. This is a great service & very different from the HMO environment I had previously experienced. The intake nurse had hyperemesis with her two pregnancies & knew exactly how I was feeling. We laughed about worrying about being sick & worrying about not being sick at the same time. She felt the exact same way. She made sure that the nurses would get the pre-auth approved for my zofran.

She also asked about stress & insomnia, where I explained that the in-laws were the source of this stress. I told her a little bit about what I went through after Logan was born (making me cry, of course) & how I was worried about going through all of that again. She was sympathetic, even tearing up a bit herself, saying that she doesn't doubt that there would be increased anxiety in a second pregnancy after the experiences I had with my first. Stating that she felt so touched, she offered a listening ear whenever I needed it. If I ever had to cry, vent or worry, all I had to do was giver her a call. I thought that was really nice & sweet of her.

After the appointment with her, I had my blood drawn - with Logan on my lap & screaming "BLUE! BLUE!" because I took his blue sucker away. After he calmed down, he was very interested in what was going on & the nurse even let him hold a vile of blood (this was super gross, but I wasn't going to say anything because I had a needle in my arm with my head turned the other way). It was actually very helpful to have him on my lap as a distraction. His hugs made the draw a little better.

After that we headed to the financial office to talk about the upcoming bills. The financial clerk had already figured out what the 9 months of care would cost & figured out a budget for us. This was awesome! Our insurance this time is very different (& more expensive), so it's great to be this prepared already. She also said that the clinic will give us a free 3-D ultrasound at around 29 weeks, which was a nice little surprise. Logan was good & made a trail of cracker crumbs all over her entire office. She was understanding, saying that it wasn't a problem (it really was a huge mess).

After we left, I got a call from one of the nurses working on getting my medication. She said that she was on the phone all morning with my insurance company fighting them about it. Apparently, they were being very difficult but she was able to get the approval. I got a 30 pill supply & she said that if I need more, she got the limit lifted to 90. This was a HUGE weight lifted off my shoulders. I picked up my prescription last night, feeling like I can relax a little bit more. Now we'll see what week 6-7 will bring because that's when I predict HG will start to slap me upside the head for worrying about not being sick.

At least I'm 100% prepared for it now.

I feel like screaming right now
No matter how prepared I try to get or how on top of things I try to be, I always get screwed by stupid insurance companies. ALWAYS. I woke up this morning feeling a little sick again & called the Doctors office to make sure they could get the prescription faxed over. They decided to give me the lowest dose available & increase it when it no longer worked. Whatever. As long as I had something.

I go to the pharmacy to pick it up & find out that my insurance will only cover 9 pills a month. 9 freakin' pills! This is after I had called to verify benefits when we got the insurance to make sure this medication is covered. NOBODY told me about a 9 pill limit. That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my entire life. That would last me a few days - less than a week.

So, my efforts in trying to prepare for HG are thwarted. My goal of fighting the battle before it got out of control was a waste of time. When I asked if I could get what I needed so I didn't have to suffer, hoping I didn't have to prove how sick I was by becoming dehydrated, starving & eventually admitted to urgent care - it was all useless. Now I will have to prove, yet again, how bad HG can get, all the while trying to take care of a 2 year old.

Once I get sick, drop weight & become debilitated, the insurance company has "criteria" that I have to meet. I have to try 2 other medications (that I tried with Logan & they didn't work) before they will approve zofran. Basically, they want me to be on the edge of death again before they will do anything that will really help me out. I hate insurance companies. I really, really, really hate them.

Well, here's to hoping it doesn't get worse & if it does - THANK GOD I have so many friends to help me take care of Logan.

Bring on the paranoia
I'm an obsessive worry-wart with one child, why would I expect things to be any different with two? I remember the positive pregnancy test with Logan, thinking that "this is the first day of worrying for the rest of my life". Now it's doubled.

Friday I was feeling OK & trying to get my prescription filled before things got out of control. For some reason, it never got faxed to the pharmacy. No worries, I was feeling OK. Then late Friday night, I started to feel the early signs of HG. Tightness in the jaw, increased salivation & feeling like I was going to hurl at any minute. I tried my best to be well, as I knew that if I started getting sick, I wouldn't be able to stop. Getting to sleep that night was difficult since I couldn't relax enough to drift away.

Saturday morning I woke up feeling better. I was a little nauseated but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. This was comparable to regular morning sickness. We had a few appointments to look at some new houses, now that we will have to move this summer (yea!). Bill picked up a few over-the-counter medications for me to tide me over until the clinic opened on Monday. All day I had been feeling really gross & was just waiting to be sick at any minute. Then, late Saturday night, I felt this tingling rush throughout my body. A rush, a wave, it's difficult to explain, but immediately afterward I felt better & was no longer nauseous. My first thought was that I lost the baby, but I tried not to think about it & went to bed.

This morning I woke up feeling great. I worked out with photographer friend for a couple of hours, feeling a little sick at times, but it was nothing. I ate like a horse when I got home, took a nap, did some shopping later in the day (where I felt a little sick again, but not really) & finished Logan's birthday party invitations. I was so worried about not feeling sick that I took another pregnancy test. It was still positive. It's so odd how being violently ill is a comfortable feeling because I know the pregnancy is strong. I'm not so confident this time.

I just can't shake that feeling from Saturday night & I can't wrap my mind around not feeling sick anymore. It's just not sitting right with me. There are no other signs of a miscarriage, just not feeling sick like I was. In fact, it's almost safe to say that I don't feel sick at all. I went back & read my journal from the first pregnancy & things were OK in week 4-5, then took a turn for the worse at week 6-7. That's when it got really bad & I thought I was dying.

I go in for my initial prenatal exam later this week. They'll do some blood work & I'll let them know what happened & how I'm worried to the point of my brain blowing smoke out my ears, like every other pregnant mother. But I hope this is just me & my obsessive crazy mind.

I don't have to wait any longer

I was supposed to start my cycle tomorrow. I had been feeling kind of gross the last couple of days. Not super sick, I haven't thrown up, but at the end of the day from lunch to dinner, I feel a little nauseous. It started when I ate a tuna sandwich & thought the tarter sauce might have been bad, then it happened last night & today at lunch & I just knew. It was dejavu.

I took the test while Bill was at work & Logan was running around with Buddha. I just couldn't wait. I had to know NOW. After waiting for the test to take, I came out of the bathroom to tell Logan to stop hitting Buddha, turned back around & saw the result.

Pregnant.

I was ecstatic! I could have jumped for joy. I called Bill right away with the news & then told him that I can't keep my mouth shut about this. After I got off the phone, I called my sisters & my friends. I've been on the phone for the last two hours, blabbing away.

Tomorrow morning I'll call the OBGYN (again) to get in for another appointment & get the prescription ASAP. I've already calculated the estimated due date to be September 20th, so we'll see if they concur. I also might switch or change the blog because it's no longer just Logan & me & I'm no longer a first time stay at home mom. YEA!