Bring on the paranoia
I'm an obsessive worry-wart with one child, why would I expect things to be any different with two? I remember the positive pregnancy test with Logan, thinking that "this is the first day of worrying for the rest of my life". Now it's doubled.
Friday I was feeling OK & trying to get my prescription filled before things got out of control. For some reason, it never got faxed to the pharmacy. No worries, I was feeling OK. Then late Friday night, I started to feel the early signs of HG. Tightness in the jaw, increased salivation & feeling like I was going to hurl at any minute. I tried my best to be well, as I knew that if I started getting sick, I wouldn't be able to stop. Getting to sleep that night was difficult since I couldn't relax enough to drift away.
Saturday morning I woke up feeling better. I was a little nauseated but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. This was comparable to regular morning sickness. We had a few appointments to look at some new houses, now that we will have to move this summer (yea!). Bill picked up a few over-the-counter medications for me to tide me over until the clinic opened on Monday. All day I had been feeling really gross & was just waiting to be sick at any minute. Then, late Saturday night, I felt this tingling rush throughout my body. A rush, a wave, it's difficult to explain, but immediately afterward I felt better & was no longer nauseous. My first thought was that I lost the baby, but I tried not to think about it & went to bed.
This morning I woke up feeling great. I worked out with photographer friend for a couple of hours, feeling a little sick at times, but it was nothing. I ate like a horse when I got home, took a nap, did some shopping later in the day (where I felt a little sick again, but not really) & finished Logan's birthday party invitations. I was so worried about not feeling sick that I took another pregnancy test. It was still positive. It's so odd how being violently ill is a comfortable feeling because I know the pregnancy is strong. I'm not so confident this time.
I just can't shake that feeling from Saturday night & I can't wrap my mind around not feeling sick anymore. It's just not sitting right with me. There are no other signs of a miscarriage, just not feeling sick like I was. In fact, it's almost safe to say that I don't feel sick at all. I went back & read my journal from the first pregnancy & things were OK in week 4-5, then took a turn for the worse at week 6-7. That's when it got really bad & I thought I was dying.
I go in for my initial prenatal exam later this week. They'll do some blood work & I'll let them know what happened & how I'm worried to the point of my brain blowing smoke out my ears, like every other pregnant mother. But I hope this is just me & my obsessive crazy mind.