What a way to start the 9 th week.
Yesterday was a tough day. Logan had his 2 month Doctors visit & his first set of vaccinations. Vaccinations are something that I've researched for YEARS. Coming from the chiropractic office that I was in, we all held the belief that the body has innate intelligence & that it is a self healing organism. The immune system of the body is amazing & Doctors don't heal the body, they just help. The director & head Doctor of the office has 3 children. None of them are vaccinated. All of them are healthy. In the office we would often give parents vaccination exemption letters for school & where ever else they needed proof of immunization.

I've read many books, articles, research papers & had many discussions with this Doctor. A lot of the vaccinations that we are given are for diseases that are practically irraticated, like polio. They are starting to vaccinate for diseases & illnesses that I had as a child, like chicken pox & the flu. Yeah, it sucked to get sick with these illnesses, but I never came close to death. Especially with the flu. It's the flu for cryin out loud! There are so many different strains of the flu, the vaccination you get usually isn't effective. Vaccinations also weaken the immune system, not giving it a chance to do what it's designed to do. Getting sick is a natural part of life & it's almost crazy to think that we can protect ourselves from every illness.

Then there are they potential side effects & risks that are associated with getting vaccinated. The most common are mild fevers, lethargy, irritability & feeling just plain sick. Some children have allergic reactions that can be serious. Then there is the much debated & inconclusive association with the increased risk of autism. I was so afraid of this that I only ate 4 tuna fish sandwiches while pregnant. I didn't want anything that was even close to mercury to be near me. While working at the chiropractic office, the head Doctor got a call from one of his close colleagues in another state. His daughter, who was 12 & had been vaccinated the day before had a seizure while in the tub & drowned. This was very sad & very scary to me.

I hear more about the ill effects of vaccinations & not about the ill effects of the diseases that people are getting vaccinated for. I've never met someone with measles or rubella. I've never met anyone that has contracted polio within the last 15 or 20 years. We don't live in a third world country where disease is rampant & hygiene is a problem. That's where I can see vaccinations being beneficial & saving many lives. I can see the validity of a few vaccinations for diseases that are causing a few outbreaks in the U.S., like Pertussis (Whooping Cough). There is an outbreak of that going around Colorado. I was also informed of the mumps outbreak in Iowa. The sad thing is, that even though some of these children have been vaccinated, they are still getting sick with these diseases. 95% of the population in the U.S. is vaccinated. The 5% that isn't is still protected by the "heard".

Bill & his family know how I feel about this. Quite frankly, I feel like they think of me as some kind of organic hippy that poo-poo's modern medical advances. It's not true considering the fact that if it weren't for medicine during my pregnancy, I wouldn't have made it out alive. The problem is, they have the "old school" mentality when it comes to health care. They believe the medical community knows everything. While I have a particular stance, Bill has another. This posses a problem when two people are raising & taking care of a child together. Someone has to give & it's usually me, just like with Logan's circumcision. The sad thing is, they don't do any of the research, I do. They blindly follow the heard while I have the education & information.

So, without causing a family feud, I broke down & allowed Logan to be vaccinated. I was sick about it for the days building up to his appointment. Yesterday morning I was so edgy. I gave Logan some liquid tylenol before we left & he spit it all up over his outfit. I wasn't too happy about this (but not upset at Logan) & Bill told me to relax. "I can't relax because I don't want Logan to get any shots today!", I barked back. He didn't say anything. I was so nervous about it all I was practically in tears the whole drive to the clinic. I tried to keep it together while Logan was getting checked out. When the pediatrician came in she asked how we felt about his vaccinations. I told her straight up that I was very nervous & unsure about it all. We had a very long discussion. She mentioned about how she has the "benefit" of treating these diseases, knowing that they are a real threat. All of her children are vaccinated (of course) & she also gave me more research information. At the end of his appointment, she asked if we were going to go through with it. Already knowing that we were, even though I still didn't want to, I told her it was ok.

The nurse came in & gave Logan 3 shots. A Diptheria, Tetanus, Pertussis, Hepatitis B & Polio combo. An influenzae b & then a Pneumonia shot. Logan did ok, but cried a bit (I don't blame him at all) & when the nurse left I cried too. It's one thing to see & listen to your child cry when they are hungry, tired or needing a diaper change. It's a completely different thing when they cry because they're in pain. We got home & I fed & changed him. He seemed ok. He ate well, smiled at me while changing him & fell asleep. Then that's where he changed & wasn't so ok.

I let him fall asleep in his swing while I read blogs & ate lunch. 3 hours after his last feeding he starts to shriek in his sleep. He cries, then falls back asleep. The 4 th hour goes by & he's still doing the same thing. If he sleeps this long I usually turn off the swing & let him wake up. So I do this & he screams at the top of his lungs. Thinking that he's probably pretty hungry, I take him downstairs to nurse. He won't eat. He's a little warm. He just cries & cries. He doesn't want me to hold him or touch him. I change him & try to give him some more tylenol. He won't suck on anything, thus the medicine won't stay down if I give it to him. He also looks dry in the mouth & his saliva is thick. Maybe he's a little dehydrated? I put him back in his swing to sleep. 4 hours later he wakes up a little bit more normal. He hasn't had anything to eat for 7 or 8 hours. This time he lets me pick him up to cuddle. He's also sucking on his binki this time, so I give him some tylenol, let it settle & then get him ready to eat. I cried & cried, beating myself up for going against what I believed & putting Logan through this. It became apparent that for some reason I have a hard time putting my foot down & saying, "Because I'm the mom. That's why"! After his nursing, he goes right back to sleep. He was this way for most of the night. By the time Bill got home from work, Logan was semi-normal. He skipped a lot of feedings & he was pretty tired, but at least he wasn't as fussy.

Bill's mom called to check up on Logan & see how he was doing. I told her everything that had gone on. She told me that she was proud of me for making this decision & that it was for the best. She also reminded me about the outbreak in Iowa & said that it was just a bad day, the worst was over. Right. I cried saying that I never want him to go through this again anyway & that we were lucky that this was as bad as it got, from what we could tell. His next set of vaccinations are in 2 months at his 4 month check up. I either have to suck it up again, or I have a lot of convincing to do if I try to nix them this time around. It really makes me mad that I'm the mom, but other family members have bigger influences on Bill & try to parent Logan through him. I suppose I'm not putting my foot down for the simple reason of not rocking the boat & causing conflict. But at what price? The health & well being of my child? It's not right & I cry every time I think about it.