There has been talk about having another baby.
Nothing serious. Not like we're actively planning or anything. No, "Let's start trying on this date", or, "Let's start when Logan is this age". Nope. More along the lines of, "What do you think about having another?"

It's something that I've been thinking about. As crazy as it sounds, I miss being pregnant. I don't miss practically starving to death in the first trimester, or being so tired & all of the other discomforts of pregnancy. I miss knowing that everything that I was doing was helping a little person to grow into a very healthy baby. I miss feeling that little person kick & move around inside. Pregnancy is an amazing experience & I miss creating life.

And then there's the birth. There are really no words to express what a mom feels, physically & emotionally, during the birth of her baby. The anticipation is intense. I miss that too. After all of the pain, hard work & 9 months of sacrifice, you finally meet your new little baby. Logan's birth was one of the most surreal experiences in my life. It seems like it happened so fast. Because labor & delivery was really easy (thanks to the epidural) & recovery wasn't that bad at all, I guess it makes me think about doing it again without hesitation. I'm sure if it had been difficult, I would think differently. Maybe.

Everyone says that each pregnancy & birth experience is very different from the others. I'm afraid of a subsequent pregnancy being worse. Because the birth & Logan were so perfect, I'm afraid another one won't go as well. I feel really fortunate with the way things went & doing again might be pressing my luck.

There are a lot of issues that get bounced around in our discussions. Bill seems to be content with a one child family. I'm sure he's really only thinking about the financial aspect. I think about the "lonely only" factor. Being the eldest of 4 girls in my family, I don't know what an only child feels. Bill is the youngest of two. He says his sister never played with him & there weren't kids his age in the neighborhood, so he kind of feels like an only. I think that siblings are a great support for each other, if they play together when they're little or not. For some reason, I feel like only having one isn't making our family complete. I don't know if this is the "universe" telling me that we're not finished & there is more to come, or if I feel this way because of societal beliefs. You know, the white picket fence, two kids (boy & girl) & the family dog.

Then I think about the challenges of more children. Right now, I couldn't imagine running after a toddler & taking care of a newborn. One child is difficult, two seems like I'm asking for trouble & three is just plain crazy. Bill & I have talked about two being our family limit. I do like being able to focus all of my time & attention on one child. I feel like there is balance & then there is an incredible bond that happens as well. I don't want to "ruin" that with Logan. I'm terribly afraid of having to deal with sibling rivalry. That was a huge issue in my childhood. I've talked about that with my sisters though & we believe that it was so bad because of the way were raised & the stability of our home life.

I go back & forth on how I feel about it. Bill doesn't think about it unless I bring it up. By no means are we in any rush right now. We have plenty of time to think about it, but I still feel that biological clock ticking.