After shocks & shock therapy
On Sunday morning, Grandpa L called Bill to invite all of us out for breakfast. Bill told him that we would be there. A few minutes after he hung up Bill received another call. There was an uproar that I would be there at breakfast. "What's your problem? We're trying to move forward here", he said. He listened for another few seconds & hung up on them.

Grandpa L called back again. He guessed breakfast wasn't going to happen. Bill invited him over to our house so they could play with Logan. They refused because I would be there. "Well, I guess nothing is going to happen today then", Bill said & hung up. Not too long after that, he got another call from Grandma L wanting to meet up. They met at a bagel shop close to home because it was a neutral spot. They talked for a while. Grandpa L tried to get some "words" in & Bill told him that he didn't want to hear it.

When Bill came home, we decided to spend the rest of the day hanging out. We went to the library to pick up some new books for Logan & Bill. We ran a couple of errands. After Logan went to bed, Bill & I sat by the fireplace with a couple of glasses of wine. It was the calm after the storm. We were getting back to our life again.



It was interesting to read the comments that people have about the choices & events that happen in my life. As harsh as some of them were, there were points well taken. The whole purpose of this blog was to document the life & challenges of becoming a stay at home mom. I have made some choices that I might not have since Logan has been born. Bringing my Dad back into our lives was one. Standing up for myself is another.

When my 3 day old baby was taken hostage from me, when my 2 week old son was snatched from the changing table the minute I turn my back. When my 5 month old was continually taken out of my arms while on a family vacation...I didn't say anything. I kept it in & cried about it. I called my sisters & cried. I cried about it on this blog. In those moments I told myself, "She is Logan's Grandma. She lives far away. She only sees him a few times a year".

I felt differently about it when we moved. I was angry that she was meddling in our family living situation. Again. I spoke up about her taking Logan out of my arms. She had a fit then as well. When she left after that, I told Bill that I wasn't going to put up with it anymore. This was our marriage, our family. Not hers. I'm tired of keeping it in. I'm tired of crying about it. I'm tired of venting about it on the blog. Since then our marriage has been so much better. Our communication is stronger. We support each other.

So when the question arises, "Are you that insecure about your relationship...?", I have to say yes. It happened before. Bill & I have worked so hard to get things back together again. I am finally beginning to trust him again without any doubts. I don't trust Grandma L. She's see nothing wrong with her actions. I am careful to not let the same things happen in our parenthood.

My boundaries are the way they are because of lessons I've learned & life I've experienced. I made solemn vows to myself as to what kind of Mother I was going to be when I read "pregnant" on the pregnancy test. They will change as Logan grows older & more independent. But for cryin' out loud. He's 9 months old. Not 29 years. If I want to be the one who changes his diapers, feeds him his meals, wipes his face, takes care of him when he's sick, puts him down to sleep & comforts him when he cries...I will. I'm his Mother. I see nothing wrong with this. Grandma L is upset because "all" she gets to do is play with him, read him stories, sing songs, go to the park & do fun things. She's angry because I won't let her be a third parent like she had been a third person in our marriage.

There is a lot of psychology behind my feelings, as well as hers. There's psychology behind all of us. Our issues just mix like oil & water. The anonymous comments (the ones that weren't blatant attacks) provoked an epiphany of what her "taking him away" really means. Someday, when the smoke has cleared, I'll explain.