Somebody please send me some Valium...non-deleted post #3
I am having some major anxiety. It's all because of Grandma L. She & Grandpa L are coming out at the end of the month because Aunt Ju-Ju & Uncle J are expecting Baby B's arrival. We're "lucky" enough to expect the grandparents to being staying with us, seeing as though we're the ones with the extra bedroom & half bath. Wonderful.

I haven't talked to Grandma L since about Labor Day. A week or so before that, she made the passive aggressive comment to me about how I was starving Logan. It was a major turning point in my marriage with Bill, because he finally started to listen to me. In my next conversation with her the week after, she made a comment about Logan's picture.

I take weekly pictures of Logan to put up on PhotoBucket. I do this because I think it's fun for Bill & myself to see how he grows & it's a nice way to keep our families up to date as well. Shortly after I added some of Logan's pictures, I get a phone call from her. "Thank you for the pictures. It's nice to finally see Logan smile other than his 'straight line smile'". I almost went through the phone to wring her neck.

In the past she has always made comments about his "straight line smile". About how it's so funny, blah, blah, blah. I always just laugh & say, "Yeah, Logan is pretty funny like that. It's just the way he likes to smile sometimes". Ha. Ha. Ha. As annoying as it is to hear her always talk about it, it never bothered me too much until she said it was nice to see him smile differently.

Was there a problem with the way he smiled before? Am I only supposed to put up pictures of him smiling the way she wants him to? It took every ounce of life in me to not scream at her over the phone. In a very stern voice desperately trying to control myself, I said, "Yes. He has a straight line smile. It's just what he likes to do. It's just the way he is". She became quiet. Then Logan woke up from his nap crying. She got off the phone pretty darn quick & I haven't talked to her since.

It's extremely frustrating because she either doesn't think about what she says & that it can be offensive to others, basically, she's ignorant. Or, she doesn't care. I'm leaning towards "she doesn't care". Bill talked to her about boundaries the visit she made before we went to North Dakota. Then it all went out the window on vacation. I told her to back off when we moved & she had her hysterical breakdown over the place we were going to rent. She has been told explicitly on three different occasions to mind her own business & back off. She doesn't care.

Too top it all off, Bill told me that he talked to her the other day. She told him that she bought Logan & Baby B matching pajamas so that she could take a picture of them for her Christmas card. I almost flipped my lid.

"What? Who does she think she is? This is totally over the line. We're taking pictures of our family for our Christmas Card. Why does she think taking a picture of someone elses baby & only the baby, for her card is appropriate? I'm tired of her trying to play mommy over & over again!"

Bill & I sat down & talked about it. Major brownie points on his part. He said that he would talk to her & I told him that if her children...the parents of the babies...were in the picture, it would be appropriate & I could compromise with that.

I don't know what else to do with this lady. We've talked to her over & over & over again. She says she's sorry, but her actions & behavior never change. To me, saying sorry & not changing is worthless. Now I feel like the gloves are off. She made a comment about the way my baby looks. She makes comments about my parenting choices. She doesn't respect boundaries or my role as a Mother. I'm not taking it anymore. If she does anything...anything at all. There will be words. Many of them.

****I just got a phone call from Aunt Ju-Ju. Baby B is breeched so they scheduled a c-section for early next week. Monday or Tuesday. Looks like we get visitors sooner than expected****