Parenting goals
I've been thinking about this for the last few weeks. One night as Bill & I were sitting on the couch watching whatever on TV, we were talking about this. Or rather, I was talking about it. Bill just sat there & nodded his head, "Yeah. Uh-huh".

Then at the MOMS club meeting last week there was a guest speaker speaking about empathetic discipline. Part of her seminar talked about parenting goals. Before this meeting, I thought I was a little strange to have goals as a parent. But afterward, I thought it would be strange if I didn't have any goals. All parenting goals are, are values & traits that you want to instill in your children. The kind of skills & tools you want your children to leave home with. I've thought a lot about what kind of skills & values I want to help Logan learn. There's quite a list.

Independence
This has to be my number one goal as Logans' Mom. Ever since he was born, even before he was born, I always thought of him as a little person. He is his own being with his own wants, needs & life. It's my job as his Mother to make sure he is free to explore his world & be his own person. I think this is so important to me because when I was becoming independent as a kid, it was thought of as rebellion, especially in my teens. I want him to be able to feel like he can depend on himself, that he is a very capable person & there are no limits as to what he can do (provided they are safe & legal).

Positive Self Esteem/Self Confidence
I'm not sure how important this was to past generations because there are so many people with low self esteem. I know it wasn't anything I learned from my family & I know this was lacking in Bills' childhood as well. As silly as it sounds, Logan & I share a little poem that I made up for him when he was smaller. It's silly because it reminds me of the SNL Stuart Smalley daily affirmations skit. However, it's fun & Logan loves it.

I tell him, "You are cute. You are sweet. You are smart. You are strong. You are silly. You are loved & You are special". Each trait has a gesture to go along with it. I bring his hands to his cheeks for cute, his hands over his heart for sweet, on his forehead for smart, bicep flex for strong, a wiggle for silly, hugs for loved & arms reaching up for special. He thinks this is so fun & smiles so cute when we do it. As he gets older, I hope he continues to believe every word of it, because it's true.

Good Health
This is another thing that past generations didn't seem to care about. Bill & I were never taught about the importance of taking care of our bodies. Healthy nutrition & an active lifestyle were non-existent. The old adage, "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure" is so true. By just living by some "simple" habits, you can really save yourself a lot of grief. There's nothing worse than being in pain, feeling lethargic, not being able to move your body very well & just a general feeling of ill health. If you don't have your health, you really don't have anything. I want Logan to be healthy so he can enjoy all that life has to offer.

Good Work Ethic & The Value Of A Dollar
Nothing in life comes easily. You get what you put into it. I'd hope that Logan learns this early in life rather than the hard way. Bill & I've talked about giving Logan an allowance when he's old enough. We've also talked about buying toys when he's been well behaved or on a special occasion. Even though this is hard for us (what parent doesn't want to buy their child toys all of the time), we don't want Logan to learn that you get what you want by whining & we're not made of money either.

Art Appreciation
I think this encompasses not only art, but music & literature as well. Bill & I can be creative people, when we want to be. Before Logan, we used to paint (Bill is much more creative & a better artist than I am). Bill also does some photography here & there & is a talented graphic artist (which he went to school for, but never pursued as a career). We've talked about getting Logan a finger paint set for his first birthday, although I might make him some home made paint before then. I really hope he's inherited Bill's artistic creativity.

With our eclectic taste in music, I have no worry that Logan will be exposed to all sorts of different kinds. This is one positive aspect that I took away from my childhood. I thought it was the coolest that my mom & I listened to the same music. My Grandma Nancy exposed us to classical, to which I still love listening to. I have the "Smart Symphonies" CD for Logan & we listen to it all of the time. I sing to him constantly & we joke about how he likes to sing back. Even though we don't play them, we have a guitar & a didgeridoo. Then there's the keyboard & Logans' new drum & percussion set. I think we have enough instruments to start a band.

I've been reading to Logan ever since he was born. When we moved, we were so excited to get our library cards. It was like hitting the jack pot for childrens books. We stock up on new one's every week. It will be so much fun when we (finally) go to story time too. Reading bed time stories has to be one of my favorite times of the day. Even though his attention span is pretty short, I know Logan like it too.

The list could go on & on, but I decided to stop with the top five. Empathy, compassion & critical thinking are right up there too. The trick to helping Logan learn all of these traits is to live by example. Monkey see, monkey do. Everyday I realize that having children makes you become a better person because you want them to be amazing people as well.