Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Transition tantrums
I think it's official. Logan's tantrums are worse this week, ever since Bill went back to work. He has been an absolute terror at the end of the day, especially since he's on a napping strike. Our mornings aren't that bad & we have been trying to get out regularly since it's good for him to run around with his friends & he's so happy doing so. Then as we are getting ready to leave, he turns into a little monster, screaming "No" at me & refusing to listen (more so than before). I make sure to give him plenty of notice so he's prepared for the transition, but it doesn't help. It takes every ounce of patience that I have just to get him back to the car to go home & have lunch.

From the time we get home until he goes to bed it is total madness. The defiance is just plain ridiculous with screaming "No", running away or ignoring me completely. But, it's mostly screaming "No". I hate the afternoons now & can't wait for Bill to come home, but even then, he's not much better & his meltdowns continue until he is in bed. At least I have some help, though.

This morning at playgroup a few of us were talking about how our kids are in the same phase. Logan has two other friends with little sisters (three months old & three weeks old) who are tantruming as well & having a difficult time with activity transitions. It's good to know that we're not alone. We commiserated together & sympathized with each other's stresses. This is one reason why I love MOMS Club & our playgroup so much. There's always someone there who understands what staying at home with difficult kids can be like.

So, I can't wait until this is over & hopefully it won't last too long. I'm going to make it a point to spend some more one-on-one time with Logan while Carter is sleeping & see if that helps. If not, well, I don't know then. I guess I'll just have to wait it out & hope I don't duct tape his mouth in the process.


Alicia Seevers said...

Kendall was 5 when Kiley was born and she actually did pretty well. However, once Kiley became mobile and could touch Kendall's things a new level of hell has arisen in our home. It improved a little once Kiley was able to talk and completely communicate at 2, but we still have issues. Kendall is 7.5 and Kiley is 2 and it is a daily occurance of sibling rivalry. One item that has worked for us that will work one day for you, when Logan is old enough to understand, is that we have told her that she had us all to herself for 5 years and Kiley will never have that. The world seems to revolve around the "haves and have nots" even at a young age! Good luck and try to hang in there!

Ashley said...

Makes more sense how parents can lose control, huh. I wish there was a way to help you!

Jill said...

My girls are 21 mths apart. One thing that helps to this day is my husband and I take turns have one on one time with each of them. DH will take one to the book store I will take one to the park or vice versa. That way they are both getting "special" time with each of us!

Could not agree with you more about MOMS Club and how reassuring it is to find out you are not alone!

Take Care

momto1 said...

Not that you probably have time to read right now, but concepts from "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" seem to be helping us out with major tantrums. You also are in a different place, with the newborn, but it could be helpful.

The biggest suggestion in the book is that when your tot starts to meltdown, you get down on their level and with the same intensity and emotion, tell them what they want with repetition. For example, if Logan wants to stay and play, you'd get down in front of him and say "Logan wants to stay, stay, STAY! Logan is mad, Mad, MAD! Logan wants to play, play, PLAY!" This lets them know you "hear" them, and quiets the tantrum. Then you can go on to explain what and why you need to do what you need to do.