Monday, July 20, 2009

The chicken or the egg?

Kristin wonders if I'm crazy to keep myself busy of if I'm busy to keep myself from going crazy. That was my facebook status update sometime last week. I have been so busy, especially last week. It got me thinking. I tend to take on a lot - activities, responsibilities, obligations - do I do this because that's just how I roll or do I do this to escape from everything else?

I still can't tell.

I had quite a few "extracurricular" activities going on; a night out for margaritas and dinner with some friends one night, wine and cheese with others another night, cooking club, writing group, workouts all in addition to the kids activities of sports, playing at the park and a baby shower. At almost every function, I was asked "How do you do it all? You are so busy! Do you ever sleep??" Jokingly I would respond "It's the 6 cups of coffee I drink everyday", which really is the truth. Many times I ask myself this same question. How do I do all of this? I just do, I guess. Because I don't know what else I would do if I didn't.

Sometimes I think I would be absolutely miserable if I wasn't busy. If I was at home doing "home stuff" with the kids, lounging around in pajamas, coloring, playing with play-doh and watching them play with cars for hours on end - I would go nuts. Boredom doesn't sit well with me. I tend to get bored easily, but when I'm bored, I'm left alone with my thoughts which, depending on what's going on, could be a bad thing. The busier I am, the less I think, the happier I am. Maybe being busy is my drug. Much like how some escape through drugs and alcohol, I escape through groups, clubs and friends.

Weird.

What's even more strange is when everyone is asking me how I do it all, in my head I'm thinking, if you're not as busy as I am, what are you doing all day?

3 comments:

Charlie said...

I am so the same. I can't stand not to be busy - it's soo boring! I completely understand how you would go crazy if stuck at home much of the time, in fact that's one of the reasons I wanted to get back to work!

Kelly said...

when I'm bored, I'm left alone with my thoughts which, depending on what's going on, could be a bad thing.

I totally feel you.
That is why, even though I love it, Christmas and summer break are so hard for me. No school stuff to focus on...so I have to find things to get into, after the kid goes to bed. There is a notable diff. between school year mood and off time mood.

Anonymous said...

You sound a lot like me! The weeks where I am home and don't have a ton of plans I seem to fall apart. When the kids and I have plans and stay out of the house I seem to be happy and do well. When left with my thoughts to long I get down. Hmm, now you have me thinking!

Heidi