Thursday, July 23, 2009

Time keeps on ticking

Tonight Bill told me that his parents are back in town, only for a few short days at the tail end of their month-long vacation. We were supposed to have scheduled and appointment with Aunt Ju-Ju's counselor, just Bill and I, so we could work on (a pointless) mediation. Bill never called and wasn't proactive about getting this done. This procrastination was more than fine with me, as I wasn't about to ask him to, remind him to do it or even utter a word about anything related to his family. I was more than relieved that we never did this and won't have anything to do with them while they are in town over the weekend.

The happiness in our home has had some ups and downs over the last few weeks (unrelated to the in-laws) and we've finally pieced everything back together and got back on track (our usual pattern it seems - fall apart and piece together. Repeat). Adding in the extra stress of the in-law problem isn't something we need right now. We are on a good streak, everything is feeling hunky-dory, smiles, happy times and making fun memories with the kids. The last thing I want to do is start adding in turmoil and risk us spiraling down again.

In our conversation Bill was telling me about how depressing his parents visit to their home town was. Family members are getting older and some aren't expected to live much longer. Grandma L's brother-in-law is one of them. He isn't expected to live more than a few weeks. I sat there in the office chair listening to Bill tell me about his aging family members and thought how sad it was that his parents aren't too far behind in age. Their years are limited and they would rather spend them feuding rather than attempting to make amends, although, it really is too late for that now.

I wonder what they think. I wonder if the lies, the hateful words and the blatant disrespect was worth it.

Bill will see them tomorrow for lunch and I doubt anything meaningful will come from it. More conversation about the weather and superficial chit-chat. Just wasting more life.


Kelly said...

I wonder what they think. I wonder if the lies, the hateful words and the blatant disrespect was worth it.

the thought popped into my head that maybe they are protecting themselves from something? maybe they are scared...of something?

you know, like the mean kid at school who will call you fat (or skinny) and make fun of your boobs (or lack there of) because he used to get his head flushed in the toilet at his old school?

probably not, but it popped into my head and I had to put it out there.

maybe they dont want to be sad and would rather be angry. its common.

Joanna said...

It is really sad with the way things have turned out. I can't believe that their age and with how short life is how come they didn't just get over whatever strange problem it is they have and act like normal people!

Zack and I are the same way...we are on one of those happy go lucky streaks at the moment as well.

Kristin said...

Kelly, I think they are afraid of being wrong. Trying to save face and protecting their egos. Afraid to admit the truth that they've hurt people in their family.

That's all I can come up with...

Kelly said...

Oh yeah! I totally forgot about the fear of tucking your tail between your legs and admitting you've screwed things up royally. Yeah, Overactive Pride Syndrome, or something to that effect.