Since my cover as our family's private investigator has been blown (or more like the extent was realized), when confronting Bill about possible untruths I am just flat out, straight up asking him rather than stewing in my suspicions. We've had open discussions about smoking where if he does have a slip up, he doesn't lie about it (from what I can tell) and things that are small simple acts that are glaring red flags for me (like closing out the browser to clear the internet history), I've asked if he has set up secret email accounts, etc. Sometimes I feel like I'm just waiting for the next lie to surface or for Bill to slip up and get busted. Again. Rebuilding trust is a sucky process.
One unsettling thing that I've discovered in my conversations will Bill is how rampant dishonesty is in many other people's relationships. All of Bill's coworkers that he's buddies with are keeping secrets from their wives. Nobody is involved in infidelity (as far as I know), but every one of them is secretly doing something that their wife would greatly disprove of. It makes my stomach turn to know that so many people are fine with lying to their loved ones and most importantly, the ones that they are supposed to love the most. It also makes me keep my guard up despite Bill telling me that he's told his friends that they should second guess keeping secrets from their wives because someday, they will get caught and it won't be pretty. Speaking from experience, he knows. But, if he's lied to me for MANY years and so many of his friends are lying, what's to say he's really going to realize how hurtful this is and change? You know what I mean?
I really don't understand why it's so hard to tell the truth. Has honesty vanished as a valuable trait?