Monday, November 10, 2008

It can't be, can it?

Carter has been having a terrible time at night lately, about the last two weeks and maybe a little bit longer than that. From about 4:00-4:30pm he starts to get fussy. Then the fussiness turns into blood curling screams that won't stop no matter how long I bounce him, if he's been fed, changed or whatever. There have been nights that he's cried like this until 10:00pm. Yes, you read that right - crying for six hours. After we began to notice that this wasn't a one time deal, we started to wonder if he has colic.

Last week at playgroup we were talking about it. One of the newer members (who is really sweet) knew exactly how I was feeling since she just got through it with her daughter. I've been OK, frustrated, but OK with all of it but then out of nowhere as we were talking about it, tears started to well up in my eyes. It has been hard. I haven't been able to go to the gym to get a break when Bill comes home from work. When he comes home, it's complete chaos. Logan is running around like a wild child, Carter is screaming as I'm wearing him in the carrier and bouncing him around and walking laps around the house. I'm in tears, lucky if I've showered if we stayed home all day and the house looks terrible. I feel like a horrible wife to have him come home to such a state.

We've tried everything. The first was practicing the five S's technique from The Happiest Baby On The Block by Dr. Harvy Karp. This worked like a charm for Logan and I swore up and down about how great it was. Well, it works for Carter, but it's only temporary. I can only swing and shoosh for so long. Shortly after I stop, he's back at it again. I've brought him into the bathroom in his bouncer so he can be in the warm steam and relax to the sound of the water. I've turned on the hair dryer. I've worn him in the Bjorn and Mei Tei. I've had him in the swing, I've turned on different white noises. I've just recently began giving him Gripe Water. Nothing works for long.

I brought him to the Doctor last week to make sure he didn't have an ear infection or a sinus infection since he's been congested for quite some time. No infections, just congestion from a cold. The pediatrician wasn't ready to call it colic yet since Carter has a reason to be upset. He wants to see if it continues until the 20th when we go in for Carter's two month check-up. He basically told me that "babies cry" and I can let Carter cry for as long as I need to while I re-group and go back to trying to calm him down. This is beyond exhausting.

Since I can't leave him at night to get a break, I hardly have more than 30 minutes to myself everyday. It's gotten to the point where when he starts fussing and I know he won't be able to settle down - I take him into his room, wrap him in his swaddle, turn on his music, close the door and I take a long hot shower. I feel like absolute crap doing this because I feel like I'm ignoring him. But, if I keep trying to calm him down, I only get frustrated and angry with my futile efforts.

I really hope that he's this upset about getting over his cold. I hope to God he doesn't really have colic. But all of the signs are there.


Sexy Beast said...

((((((((((HUGS)))))))))) GOOD LUCK

Shannon said...

I hope this passes soon. I've been there and can really sympathize.

also...I nominated you for a blogger award. :)

Dawn B said...

Colic. Sucks.
Totally know how you feel. I don't even know if mentioned in our blog about Jame's colic at weeks 2 through 12 but my was horrible.
And I feel bad because everything you've tried sounds actually have some great ideas I wish I could have known back then (we used the vacuum, loud tv, and a fan on high and the fan worked best with James). James' witching hours were from 6pm to 1am. He would literally scream and cry every one of those 7 hours straight.
But, I do know this.. it does pass (James woke up one morning a switch..and was happy and stayed that way all day and night) and if it's colic, you WILL get through it just as long as you and your husband trade positions being the one to calm him. If you can find any way to get a break do it. The shower idea that you're doing..totally not a bad thing and it's a good chance for you both to get a break.
And if it's not colic, still doesn't make horrible screaming and crying any easier. I wish you so much luck with this. Keep us posted!

stephanie said...

I came across your blog a couple of months ago and I have been reading it time to time. I have a two year old and one on the way... Anyways, what I wanted to say was that our son went thru the same thing when he was two weeks, but we thought it might be acid reflux with him. He could cry and cry for hours and hours. when we went to the doctor she gave us a rx for baby zantac. Once that got into his system, he was a new baby! We used that from 2 and a half weeks until he was 8 months old. He would only ever cry like that if the zantac wasn't enough. Just thought I'd pass that along...

COURTNEY said...

Totally feel for you! Your doing all the right things!

Amy said...

I agree with Stephanie. It sounds like reflux. I have an 8 week old who is going through the same thing. He has been congested since birth. I've been wondering how he could have a cold for so long and then I discovered that congestion is one of the biggest signs of reflux. Once we started having him sleep upright in the swing he got a little better. We also got a prescription for zantac at 7 weeks. I still haven't filled it yet because he got better after I borrowed a Tucker sling and wedge from a friend. The tucker sling allows the baby to sleep at a 30 degree angle, which helps with reflux and congestion tremendously (they're expensive, though). He is SO much better. Less congested and less reflux-y. Anyway, you may want to ask the doctor if it could be reflux, b/c at least that is treatable (unlike colic)!

Holly said...

Hey I went through this with my daughter.. Anyhow Something I think you might be open too if you can find it is "Cranial Sacral" Therapy.. My Chiro actually does it but I take my daughter to an OT. With in 24 hours of her first appt we saw a HUGE difference in her. Now she is the happiest kid on the block! The Upledger group is the ones who founded the therapy.. if you search them they might have a link to people who practice in your area... Best wishes and I hope you find a solution! I also had ellie sleeping upright in a bouncer at that time and that helped too!

momto1 said...

I went through this with Stink. I did think it was collic (for the first 3 months!) until a mom suggested I give up dairy since I was nursing. Made all the difference in the world. I guess there is a protien in dairy (not lactose) that can be difficult for young babies to digest. I can't remember if you are still nursing or not...but you could give it a try.

The Happiest Baby, Inc. said...

Dear Kristin,

All the things you are doing are great! However, you have to keep implementing the 5 S's and experimenting to see which combination works best for Carter. It is extremely important to execute them in just the right way. If you haven't already seen "The Happiest Baby" DVD, I strongly recommend you watch it. It is a great tool and it greatly helps in making sure you are implementing all the techniques correctly.

With fussier babies, Dr. Karp suggests using the swing, while your baby is swaddled and slightly harsh white noise is playing. Dr. Karp's "Super Soothing" Calming Sounds CD has 5 specially engineered tracks that are extremely effective in calming the "fussies". You should play track 1 for Carter until he calms down, then to help him sleep at night - play tracks 3, 4 or 5 - at the intensity of shower - all night long. This will help him sleep additional 1-3 hours! The CD is easier and less expensive to use than burning out a hair dryer! Also you can control the volume, use it in the car, even on trips to grandma's. You can also use the CD for Logan.

Also, have you heard about Dr. Karp's DVD and book "The Happiest Toddler on the Block"? They do for toddlers (8-months to 5-years) what "The Happiest Baby" does for babies! They teach simple yet extremely effective techniques that calm tantrums in seconds, eliminate most tantrums in days and offer simple tips for making children much more patient and cooperative. These are a must for any parent of older infants and young tots! Parents usually watch the DVD 2-3 times first to really learn the techniques and then read the book to learn many more tips, like dealing with picky eating, potty training, whining and discipline.

All best wishes and Happy Holidays,