Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Ahhh.....getting back to normal (for about three weeks anyway, then we do this all over again). There were no visits on Tuesday because of the way our schedule is & I guess lunch didn't work with them. We were supposed to go out for lunch after playgroup this morning on Bill's lunch hour, but he couldn't get them to commit to any specific time, so no lunch. Then they were supposed to come over tonight after their dinner with friends. They came 15 minutes before Logan was going to get ready for a bath & stayed for no longer than 1 minute & 30 seconds. That is not an exaggeration at all. They came in the door, said good-bye, gave a couple of hugs & were out. I found this odd, especially since Bill had let them know way in advance what time Logan gets ready for bed (& they know his bedtime is 8:00 anyway, this is nothing new). Bill doesn't see it that way. I think it's an interesting interaction nonetheless & think they are upset that we are trying to keep Logan on his routines & schedules (while still including them), basically that our world doesn't stop just because they are visiting. But, that's just my feeling about it...

To summarize this visit, it consisted of Aunt Ju-Ju being upset that we were trying to work with all schedules - not just hers, Grandpa L ignoring or disrespecting our parenting/disciplining of Logan & Grandma L being fake (no surprise there) - by giving me hugs that had no feeling (likewise. I'd rather not have a hug, thanks). I felt the same way as I did last time, being there but not really being "there". I still don't want to share anything about the pregnancy with them & we didn't talk too much about it. We never showed them Carter's ultrasounds & I don't think we mentioned the 3D ultrasound we're getting next week (Bill might have, but I don't know).

I hate the general feeling when they visit, it's not fun or relaxing. This visit I also noticed something that changes in me (other than being just irritable) that I don't like & I'm not comfortable feeling. I become incredibly judgmental when they are here - but I am also successful at keeping my mouth shut about it until we are at home alone. I'm noticing how different Aunt Ju-Ju & I are as mothers & of course, I see many faults in their style as I'm sure they see the same in ours. I would NEVER say anything to them about it, so it's one of those feelings that stays inside, arm in arm with the feeling of dislike & guardedness.

But, the good news is that the black cloud of doom is moving along, life & normal, comfortable feelings begin in the morning. And I'm going out with friends for dinner tomorrow night, so it's a good way to have some fun & relax a little more.

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