Wednesday, July 30, 2008

How do you make lemon aid out of this?
I was going to write about something completely different today. Actually, I've been working on Logan's two & a half year development update (rather than going monthly after he turned two). But what do you know, something happens today that trumps the development post.

I. Am. Stressed. There is no doubt about it & I have NO CLUE how to relax. There is so much crap going on right now; Bill & I heading back to marriage counseling again (which is a good thing, but still stressful nonetheless), Logan testing the limits & being a typical two year old, normal daily worries of a stay-at-home-mom (finances & paying for preschool-prep classes), threats of pre-term labor, I mean - the list is never ending. I had an OB appointment this afternoon & now I have more to stress about.

The appointment started as usual, pee in the cup & get my blood pressure checked. My OB came in & we talked about the night in labor & delivery, that stress is what brought me there & everything that's going on. I sat there & cried & cried in the exam room. I swear, I have the best OB in the world because she is such a good listener & a very compassionate person. She said that I needed some more "me-time" since I'm not able to workout at this point. She told me to call her if I needed anything (although I don't know what that would be). After her listening to me cry for a while, I got on the table to get measured & listened to the heart beat.

Carter's heart beat was at 135bpm, but I was measuring small at 28 weeks, not 32. She said that he could be in a weird position, but she ordered an ultrasound & follow-up appointment for next week. The big worry is that amniotic fluid is low, which really scares me. I cried some more, she gave me a huge hug & said that we would know more after the ultrasound.

And! On top of all of this, the in-laws are back in town this week & were over tonight for dinner with Grandpa L pulling more of his smoking around Logan stunts. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I think my "me-time" needs to be a vacation or something. If we had the cash, I would spend an entire day at the spa getting everything I want. THAT would be some me-time!


Ashley said...

Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry. That all sounds so incredibly difficult. You can definitely come have some me-time at my house if you want.

Dawn B said...

Please know, I know exactly how you feel.. Lately, I've been needing a vacation so badly. Like you said, even just a full day away.
Anyway enough of me.. I hope you're not worrying too much about the pregnancy. It's really hard for doctors to know what's going on without that US machine, so please don't worry. I don't want to give false hope, but I feel really hopeful that things will be just fine. Here's an example, when I was pregnant with Natalie my ob said the same thing- that i measured almost a month smaller than what was expected. 3 weeks later (would have been 2 weeks but she was on vacation) she said I was huge. And you're right around the same time in the pregnancy when that happened to me. You're in the early 3rd trimester and you will go through those growth spurts like crazy and out of no where now (you know how it is! lol)
Thinking and praying for you guys over here..

Jezer said...

I wish I could offer more than good vibes and positive thoughts for you.

It sounds like you are going through an especially rough patch, and the best I can offer is that "this too shall pass."

I agree with Dawn B that it's hard to tell anything without seeing the baby on ultrasound, and I hate that you have to wait until next week for that!

Hang in there.

Jaime said...

I'm not sure if this will make you feel better but I measured at 32 weeks when I was 36 and it freaked me out but everything was perfectly normal.

Erin said...

I am so so sorry you're having to go through all of this. If I lived near you I would help out any way that I could!! :(

COURTNEY said...

I am so sorry to hear that you're going through this! I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you and Carter!

momto1 said...

I am so sorry to hear you are having a difficult time. I could use a day at the spa too, come to think of it! Could you take a break at a bookstore or something for an afternoon? I do that every once in a while...grab coffee, sit and read magazines--not books--they are too much effort, but nice, silly magazines, with lots of celebrity gossip (which I really don't care about on a day to day basis...). I hope things get better soon!

erica said...

I haven't been dealing very well with my stress either (hello searing abdominal cramps and shooting pain into my hips). I'm thisclose to suggesting counselling for us as well not that I'm sure it does any good because he's a man and they're just really freakin stupid... anyway.

I can email you with a breathing technique that helps me out so much, if you're interested. You can do it while you're laying in bed, and the house is quiet - I always get such a restful night's sleep afterward.

Thinking of you. :)