Sunday, July 06, 2008

Type A vs Type B
Well, well, well. It looks like "planning & organization" is the family drama topic of this visit. And you know why? It's because we're finally putting our foot down & not following along with all of this crazy "fly by the seat of our pants" nonsense & it's driving Aunt Ju-Ju nuts.

So after our 4th of July celebration, Bill & I talked about how we should have stuck with our original plan & he said that he would talk to his family about making more concrete plans. We left Aunt Ju-Ju's house without knowing what we were going to do the next day, leaving it at "we'll call you in the morning".

Yesterday morning, we thought that everyone might come over here to hang out since we have more space, more toys & most importantly, central air. 10:00AM rolls around & we still have no idea what we're doing. Bill asks me if I'm going to shower that morning & I say yes (thinking that they will either come over here to play or we might go out for lunch first). After getting out of the shower, Bill tells me that they are coming over to swim in our pool. If I had known this ahead of time, I would not have made the effort to shower & get ready since I would have to do it twice. Doing this while pregnant is a pain in the butt. We had been talking about planning & communication for days if not weeks now. I felt my blood boiling & I just lost it.

"WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR YOUR FAMILY TO MAKE PLANS? Why can't anyone figure out an activity & time & stick to it???!!! WHAT IS SO DIFFICULT ABOUT BEING EVEN SLIGHTLY ORGANIZED!?".

In the middle of this, I leave stomping upstairs to get my swimming suit on & get things packed for the pool while Bill hangs out downstairs with Logan. Soon, Bill comes up & tells me that we're now going to lunch first & meeting in about an hour, then they will come over to swim. Again, I freak out. I was over this crap & couldn't take it anymore. After yelling at Bill to tell his family to get their shit together, I get re-dressed & he takes Logan to get ready. The funniest part was after Bill got Logan ready for the day, the two of them come into the bathroom where Bill asks if Logan looks presentable (you know how Dads get kids 'ready') & Logan chimes in with "Daddy big trouble". We all have a cute family hug & get on with the morning.

We meet the Grandparents at the restaurant & what do you know, Aunt Ju-Ju & clan aren't there. Whatever. So, we end up eating & then coming back to our place to play - no swimming. Logan has fun with a new car they bought for him, jumping off the couch for what seemed like hours & playing with his toys. It was pretty chill. When he went down for his nap, Bill went with the Grandparents to drive around town looking at houses up on the market (their house isn't even up for sale yet - this is SO another post for another day). Bill comes back with them, Logan wakes up, plays some more & we actually make some plans for the next day. I was kind of shocked, but relieved.

Right before they left, Logan was acting up & after his attitude & hitting me in the face, was marched right into time-out. I stood in the kitchen while he screamed & cried. He is supposed to be in time-out for almost three minutes. It's not that long & his time doesn't start until he stops freaking out (which wasn't going to be long in this particular situation). Well, apparently the Grandparents can't wait that long & Grandpa L goes right over & picks up Logan out of time out asking him for a hug. Logan does nothing but sniffle & look at me because he clearly understands that he is still in trouble & his time-out isn't over. We haven't had "the talk & apology" yet, which is the time-out finale.

I'm standing there pissed at what he's doing & tell him, "He's not doing anything because he knows he's still in trouble. His time-out isn't over yet". Grandpa L flat out ignores me. After giving Logan a hug without getting one back, they walk out of the door & I sit down with Logan & talk about his time-out. I decide right there that that was the Grandparent's last chance. If they pull anymore stunts like that, disrespecting our parenting in such a blatant way, I would not be as nice & a hell of a lot more blunt in speaking with them about it.

After they left to go to Aunt Ju-Ju's house, Bill tells me what had happened in the car while looking at houses. I guess while driving around, Bill told the Grandparents that we need to make more solid plans so we know what were doing & so we can get Logan ready for whatever it is. Apparently they agreed. Then Aunt Ju-Ju called & Bill said that he had to let her have it over the phone. She asked what they were doing & got upset because she wanted to come over to swim. "Well, we were going to do that at 11:30 like we talked about, but you weren't there. It's 2:00 right now & Logan is sleeping. 5:00 is too late for us". I don't know what else was said since Bill isn't that great about relaying conversations, but I guess she pulled an attitude & "punished" us with "Fine, then we're going over to Uncle J's cousin's house to swim". More power to ya...

The next morning (this morning), I took Logan to the gym to workout with photographer friend at 9:00 while the family came over to our house for breakfast at 10:00. We would be back at 11:00 & planned on going swimming for the morning. Aunt Ju-Ju & family were running late & still weren't there when Logan & I got back. We waited for about another hour. I told Bill that we either stay home or leave now because Logan's lunch & nap time are quickly approaching. We get our things together & head on over to the pool while the Grandparents hang back at the house waiting for the rest of the family. Bill gives me the scoop that Aunt Ju-Ju & Uncle J were fighting about something & that's what was holding them up. Great.

On the way over to the pool, we see them drive down the street. We all finally get there & have about 30 minutes of swimming before Logan is asking (whining) to go home for lunch & watch Sponge Bob. He's flat out exhausted when this happens, so I get him out & get him home while everyone else stays to swim.

Bill comes back home & puts Logan down for his nap. We talk in the kitchen, about Grandpa L's time-out incident, about Aunt Ju-Ju's flakiness & he chuckles that all of the drama is on them (it always is, but somehow in the past I was always made out to be the bad guy). We talk about how even though this is a crazy kind of visit, it's relatively less stressful than it sounds & it's because Bill & I are finally 100% on the same page & I know he has my back (even though I'll probably have to be the one to speak up about something first, which is fine).

The rest of the day goes on as normal with a steak dinner at Aunt Ju-Ju's & a cake to celebrate Grandma L's retirement (there will be more on this later as this post is already a novel). Logan & Cousin B have a really good time playing again, running around & being cute. Bill took tomorrow off so he has a four day weekend & I guess we're spending most of the day with all of them again tomorrow. This is the longest weekend in the world....


Joanna said...

Well, I am glad that something is finally working out. Aunt JuJu seems to be all up in her own little world thinking that everything revolves around her. I am so glad to hear that someone is making her see that the world isn't hers!

As far as the timeout situation, I have no advice. The only thing I can think of is grandparents are just that way when it comes to dicipline. So, the next time it happens you will just have to say something right then about the routine of time out.

Mindseye said...

Heaven forbid the IL's actually move there!

COURTNEY said...

Stand firm and try not to let them get to you. Keep telling yourself "Someday they'll be dead." Okay, maybe that's a little harsh, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do.:)

Eriness said...

Did they get a cake that Logan could eat this time? I am not a relative and even I know this!!!!

Kristin said...

OH, but they ARE moving here. It's just a matter of the housing market turning around enough for them to put their house up for sale. They think it's soon, Bill thinks it's years - who knows when it will really happen, but they still go house hunting EVERY SINGLE TIME they are here.

And, no. They did not get a cake that Logan could eat. He & Cousin B ate fruit snacks instead. They did try to make sure there was food for him at other meals, but I've also pretty much given up on them being diligent enough to make it safe for Logan. They don't read labels even though I've told them what to look for, or they read the label AFTER they bought the product only to find that there's garlic or egg in it.

Lawfrog said...

I can so relate to the in-laws with no solid plans. That happens with my husband's family all the time and it drives me INSANE. I need to know what is going on and when it's going on so I can make plans for my day.

I found your blog from Mom Around the Clock and it's been a great read. I'm just sitting here nodding my head at several of the posts re: in-laws and such.