Friday, February 20, 2009

You're in my bubble

This non-stop nursing business is HARD WORK. It's difficult to get out of the house to really do anything, the run-on pajama days are enough to drive anyone insane with boredom and all I feel like I do is nurse, eat, drink, nurse, mess around on facebook, drink, change the channel for Logan, nurse, drink...You get the idea. The funny thing (or not so funny) is that it hasn't even been a week yet. It's been three days! We even ventured out of the house for a baby shower (that we were really late to thanks to Carter's morning nap time) where I spent a chunk of time nursing and talking while Logan ran around with his friends.

I finally got a call back from our Pediatrician this afternoon about Carter's weight loss, three days later. It turns out that he's been slowing dropping weight and in my opinion, getting him to sleep through the night was the downward spiral. At his 2 month check-up his weight was 25% and by 4 months he dropped to 15% (I think this is what she said. It could be 50% to 25%). Apparently this weight loss (or lack of growth) wasn't that big of a deal because this is when our pediatrician suggested that I stop nursing him at night to get him to sleep through the night - which did work after a couple of weeks.

His weight at 4 months was 12.9 pounds. His weight a week later at his foot appointment was the same. His weight the next 2 weeks later at his weight-check was the same. If it had not been for his Raynaud's disease appointment, we would have never caught this until his 6 month check-up at which he probably would have been classified as failure to thrive.

So, I'm continuing to nurse every hour (about), taking fenugreek pills, eating like a horse and choking down as much water as I can. I haven't worked out all week, but when I go back to the gym next week, I'll be on the why in the hell are you even here program, dropping my intensity WAY down.

One thing I'm starting to miss is my personal space. With Carter latched onto me so often and Logan trying to snuggle up at every opportunity, I long for the times they are in bed and I can breath, stretch out and increase the space of my "bubble". I never thought I would feel like this, but I guess you can get to a point of being touched too much. Or maybe I'm just weird. Which is very possible.

We keep this up until next Tuesday or Wednesday when Carter gets another weight check to see how he's growing. I HOPE everything is back on track at that point.


tyfamilyadventures said...

no you arent weird I think we all feel like not being touched at times..I cant imagine how you feel with a little guy attached all the time.I am glad you caught it all in time.take care of yourself...

Charlie said...

I'm just catching up on some of your posts this week and had to say I know exactly where you're coming from with the lies issue. I think you are so right to be upset about it. It seems to have gone beyond the family issue, and right onto the trust issue. I can understand why you feel it's not necesarily enought to leave your husband over, but it's waaaaay more than enought to be very upset and disappointed with him.

You and your gorgeous little boys are his main priority/family now, and if he hasn't got your back - who has?!

Sorry not to leave any useful advice, but I really wanted to tell you that I think you are completely right to be so pissed off. My husband sometimes also tells stupid,completely transparent lies (usually over money) and it drives me MAD!

A nosey question - do you have family? I don't recall reading about them?

Kelly said...

I commend you for doing the infant thing and toddler thing at the same time...I can only imagine. I have a almost three year old boy, and I know it would be impossible with a newborn added into the mix!

I will pray for you and your milk supply, and your bubble!

Kristin said...


I have 2 sisters on the west coast that I talk to often but see rarely. We really hope to take a vacation this summer to see them. They are really supportive when crap happens over here.

My Dad visits a few times a year, but it's a very superficial relationship - he disappeared when I was 8 & I didn't see him again until I was 16, then I didn't have much to do with him until after Logan was born.

My mom is beyond toxic & I haven't talked to her in 12 or so years.

angie said...

You are not weird AT ALL. As much as we love our children, we NEED space! Being clung too every minute of the day is a lot. I hope all your hard work and efforts pay off. You are a good mother.

Nancy McFadden said...

As a fan of your blog, I don't comment but I have to let you know that when I was pumping for my son, I was prescribed Domperidone which increases milk supply. It is AMAZING and worth asking your doctor and doing some research on.

Good luck!!!

Debbie said...

Not that this is a popular thing to say but needing to supplement the nursing with formula is not the end of the world. A happy Mom is most important. You have too much going on in your life to be doing the hourly nursing longterm. I'll get yelled at, I'm sure.

Charlie said...

I really hope you get to see your sisters this summer Kristin. It sounds like you need all the family support you can get at the moment.

On the plus side, it also sounds like you have a great family of your own (hubby's family problems/issues aside). Your boys are gorgeous and I love reading about you all.

Ashley said...

Wow, that's crazy. I hope he's okay! And no, needing personal space and not being touched is perfectly normal! Especially with kids, I think.