Monday, June 08, 2009

10 years

Over the weekend Bill and I met a major milestone. Our 10th wedding anniversary. It was a huge event because we've been though so much over the last 10 years and specifically the last three years, that it's amazing we hung in there long enough to celebrate.

After many of our anniversary plans fell through, we decided to go out for a nice dinner and dessert together and then party it up around town with some of our friends. And boy, did we party. First, dinner was delicious, one of the best meals I've had and of course, dessert at one of my favorite dessert spots was fantastic. We met up with our friends for margaritas and then hopped to 8 different bars all through the night. There were shenanigans and more fun than we've had in a very long time. It was a perfect way to celebrate.

A few days before our big day, I had been working on an essay to submit for Writing Group. Our anniversary was the perfect inspiration. This piece sums up why we're still married after all of the insanity that we've been through...

I believe in imperfect soul mates

In two days my husband and I will celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary. Many people didn’t think we would make it this far. Some made their own attempts at splitting us up and sometimes I didn’t even think we would celebrate this milestone. But, we did and there was one belief I always held - in our darkest moments, the most troubled days of our marriage; I always believed (and always will believe) that we are soul mates.

We met when I was 17, he was 19 and both of us were completely clueless about the world we lived in. However, we did know that we were in love. It wasn’t puppy love or lust, but real honest and true love. There was an instant connection that felt like we'd been together forever and the sacrifices that we made to be with each other were easy to make. In fact, giving up the life and the religion I had to be with Bill was one of the best decisions I've ever made. The long conversations in our cars after work under the stars, the electric spark that ran through our fingers while holding hands, the almost chemical dependence with each others touch and the comfortable safeness in our hugs; we both knew right away that we were meant to be together. Even more so considering the many random places that we could have run into one another. Our marriage was something that was supposed to happen.

Being soul mates, we have one of the most imperfect marriages made up of two incredibly imperfect people. There are no rainbows and roses in this fairy tale. I don’t get flowers “just because” and he doesn’t come home to a dinner fresh from the oven. He doesn’t share his feelings or thoughts with me and I probably don’t tell him “I love you” enough. We are equally to blame for not appreciating each other enough. It really took us blood, sweat and tears to survive as long as we have. Our soul mate connection is certainly not one that most people fantasize about, with knights in shining armor and a perfect, conflict-free marriage. It’s because we are the real deal - real imperfect soul mates.

Our dynamics are interesting. We have a very yin - yang relationship where the term "opposites attract" rings true. He's the practical, concrete guy who likes to play it safe. He's logical. He has terrible eating habits and hates working out. He's patient, quiet, calm, holds his tongue and likes to read. I'm the adventurous, abstract gal who likes to take risks. I'm emotional. I'm neurotic about my eating habits and the gym is my second home. I'm impatient, loud, explosive and would rather climb a mountain than read a book. We couldn't be more different, but we are the perfect fit. We make it work. We are the opposites that make the whole. It’s as if we are the two matching pieces to a puzzle, the only two that fit together to make the rest complete.

We often talk about how we are a perfect fit despite our imperfections. While our differences can cause conflict, they also balance us. He keeps me grounded while I try to get him to think out of the box. We keep each other out of trouble by keeping one another in check. While I may be the one who is willing to make drastic life changes without a second thought, he is the one who steps in with cautious logic to make sure we're making the right decision. We make a good team. Between the two of us, we get the best of both worlds. While we've grown to understand that without each other our lives would still go on, they just wouldn't be complete. That's what's held us together. We can't imagine living life without the other.

The intensity and depth our love runs regardless of our differences is undeniable. It seems that no matter what life throws at us, we always make it through together with our love untouched. Despite all of the trials and tribulations we've been through and all of the hurt we cause one another, I will always love him with every cell in my body and I will always believe we are imperfect soul mates.


Alicia said...

You need to update your profile to 10 years ;)

Sherri said...

With this post,you could be talking about my husband and myself.
I was 17 and he was 19 when we met while working at Walmart.
We married when I was 18 and he was 20...come next month,we will be married 11 years.