Thursday, June 18, 2009

A sample of a different life

For the last week Bill has been away on business. He came back this afternoon. From Monday, I took care of everything and everyone, from breakfast to bedtime. Really, it wasn't that hard. In actuality being a single parent is only a few extra hours of "work" a day for me. Bill is the one to get Logan breakfast and then bathed and tucked into bed. I do everything else in the middle and everything for Carter. It wasn't that big of a deal when he was gone. Meals, errands, activities, discipline, routines - I've got it down and have done so since Day One. Plus, I did get some nice breaks by going to the gym - either training clients or getting my own workout in. Yesterday Carter lasted the full 2 hour max. It was awesome.

If anything were to happen to Bill or if anything were to happen to us and our relationship, I know without a doubt that I would be able to handle being a single parent. Sure, it can be exhausting and it's nice to share the load, but there's no question - I can do it. Not a problem.

What I would have a hard time with though is the loneliness. Sitting around the house at night by myself while the boys are asleep, going to bed alone, not having the physical touch. After eating dinner alone with the kids, it really starts to hit. 7:00pm bedtime routines start and once I close the door to Logan's room after tucking him in, the emptiness smothers the house like a dark fleece blanket. It's quiet. Too quiet.

I'm really glad he doesn't travel much.


Ann's Rants said...

I relate, and how. Husband used to travel constantly, and probably will again when the economy picks up.

It is so lonely. The feelings of competency do give me a charge, but I really end up completely depleted when he's gone.

And then there's so much pressure when he's back.

Thanks so much for adding me to your blogroll!

Anonymous said...

"the emptiness smothers the house like a dark fleece blanket"

Perfect simile.

I agree, too. This loneliness is biggest/only thing that makes me crave for my ex or another relationship...when I know that I don't really NEED either one.

Kristin said...

Ann, I found your blog after we'd been linked on the New Parent blog list. I think you have a fantastic blog, hilariously funny - how could I not add it! :)