Monday, June 22, 2009

Hard work deserves rewards

One day not too long ago, I looked down at my body with a twisted face and gasped. "What in the hell happened to me?" I thought to myself while staring at the aftermath of what my 29 year old body has gone through. I lucked out and didn't get many stretch marks from two pregnancies, so it wasn't so much what happened to the lower half of me, but the top half.

I've nursed two babies. My breasts have done their job, punching the time clock at the milk factory every three hours for two years. This year they even worked overtime, on the hour every hour for a week straight. They are now retired and it shows.

In the past when someone mentioned how they wanted to go under the knife, I always wondered why they couldn't accept their body for how it was. Just be happy with what you've got! In fact, months ago while I was still nursing Carter, I had a conversation with Bill about it as we were watching some kind of plastic surgery show on TV. "I don't get it. Why would someone spend all of that money on their body? There's so much danger in surgery and then you have to go back every 10 years or so to get replacements? Wow! We're all going to get old, ugly and wrinkly anyway. What's the point?"

At the time, I might have been in the "working" mindset. The frame of mind in which my body was doing it's job and these parts were employed for a very important and specific task - to feed my babies. They were not multi-purpose or held two jobs (if you will).

Now that nursing is over and they will never need to return to slave labor? I get it now.

I've never been "blessed" in this area. In fact, of all the women in my family, I got the short end of the stick with these genetics. For a long time I was fine with that. I accepted that this was how I was built, these were the cards that I was dealt and I didn't obsess about how I could be different. I was fine with how everything changed after nursing Logan. Really, they weren't very different! But then, after Carter? Wow, did things change. And I'm not happy nor accepting of it.

I think it may be one thing to accept how you were born, but it's another thing to accept how you've changed. It's a hard pill for me to swallow. I think of stretch marks as "battle scars" (maybe because I don't have too many). Wider hips give a more womanly shape. However, there's nothing positive about deflated, small (and smaller than they were) boobs.

If we had the money, I'd change how things are. These retirees should get decent pension for a job well done. I'd get an upgrade and they'd get to travel around in a brand new RV rather than a beat up Oldsmobile.


Misti of Studio M Designs said...

Now Kristin, that was a great first reading of your blog! LOL! I have 3 boys, all a bit older than your little ones...and luckily mine have stayed in tact. I know if I were to loose weight, they would be the first to go! However, the lower levels of my 38-yr-old body are starting to look like the Grinch. All lumpy, and old looking! Just do some push-ups, lift some weights, do the "we must, we must, we must increase our bust" cheer and hope for the best until the cash flow comes in. Don't worry-be happy!


Sasha said...

When I'm done nursing this next one I'm going to find a doctor. I've been *very* blessed in this area and now they're. Ugh. Bigger. And heavy. And they hang and don't feel good.

I've never had body issues, but this...I think I could learn to live with it if it wasn't so physically uncomfortable, you know?

So I'll have them reduced, and tucked, and if it takes three years to save the money so be it. :)

angie said...

I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to get breast implants. I've always been small chested, and after nursing for 16 months my breasts have had it. They are so sad. I've discussed it with the hubster, and have gone as far as scheduling a consult before chickening out. I've never undergone surgery and the thought of something happening to me while undergoing a purely vain surgery scares me. I never want poor Ava to have to say: "my mom died getting a boob job!" Ug. But what I wouldn't give for perkier boobs again, forget size (though bigger would be a plus).

Jana said...

For my 30th birthday, long before I was a wife or a mom, I bought myself "upgrades." Finally, my top half matched the bottom half!

I've never, EVER regretted it.

Five years later, I breastfed Alex for 1.5 years. The girls worked like champs, and they still look fantastic.

Also, having spent that kind of money on one part of my body motivates me to keep the rest of it in shape. :)

If you ever find the means, I'd say go for it. All that hard work indeed deserves a reward.

Alicia said...

I'd gladly give you some of mine because they need a lift and are too big!

Casey, Tracey, and Kids said...

I hear ya'. I have always said the same thing...I can't believe people would actually WANT TO have surgery! But, after two kids...things aren't what they used to be. If(and when)I come across some $-I am going for the tummy tuck-although husband would rather the implants...

Kelly said...

My mom has always been small breasted. And, yeah, they were deflated a bit (she had four of us, and nursed us all). However, I look at her now, and she looks great. She is fifty and her boobs are still WAY more perky than mine. I think they've filled out some since the last one (who is 17 now), too.

I was 'blessed' with bigger breasts and now my nipples will be the first to tell you which way is down. So, if your nipples still point in the right direction, and you don't have to fold/hoist your breast up to get them into your bra,'ve got it better than I do! ;)