I am lucky, but I feel like a schmuck
With this being my second go around with hyperemesis, things are drastically different. The first time, I didn't have any support. I was sick on my own, the house never got cleaned & looked totally gross. It was rough.
This time I have a bunch of friends rallying to support us. Massage friend is going to clean our new home for us before we move in & she's also going to clean this house when we move out (I'm totally going to pay her for her time, too). A bunch of friends have offered to help us pack & move & many have offered to make Bill & Logan dinners so I don't get sick from the smells of food. I can't count how many times people have offered to watch Logan during the day so I can rest in a quiet house. Everyone I know in The Club is offering any & all the help that they can. I am so thankful for them all & I'm amazed at what a great group of friends that I have.
But this doesn't stop me from feeling like a schmuck. I feel so bad for needing so much help. There are bittersweet tears at night, mostly from an overwhelming sense of thankfulness for my friends & everything that they're doing to help us, but also from being so tired of being sick & helpless all of the time. I feel disabled to a point & it really sucks. Then I feel stupid for feeling this way because I knew what I was getting into when we decided to have another baby. I knew that I would be really sick again & I knew that I would need the help of my friends. In fact, knowing that I would have so much support really solidified our decision.
Good grief. I don't know what I feel. But I am incredibly thankful.