I'm not going to watch TLC baby shows anymore.
Especially "Bringing Baby Home". I get the most frustrated irrational feeling watching it. It makes me think I'm crazy. It's all about parents bringing their baby home from the hospital & what the first two days are like. Everything is feel good & happy (granted overwhelming), until the extended family comes to see the baby. Sometimes it doesn't take long for them to show up & the grandmother always walks in the door, gives the parents a quick hug & "Where's the baby?" comes flying out. Now, I can appreciate family being excited to welcome a new baby into their lives. In fact, it would be a whole lot worse if they weren't excited. I know their intentions are nothing but good as well. However, it always feels like they come barging in to take over. The poor mom, just home from the hospital, tired & usually overwhelmed, gives the baby to grandma as she tries to force feed the sleeping kid (if they are bottle fed) & wake them up.

This feeling of irrational anger wells up inside me. I get so frustrated & protective. I don't know why I feel like this, it makes no sense. It's not even my baby! I got the same feeling a while back when Bill & I were shopping. There was a new mother checking out in front of us. Another cashier proceeded to pick up the baby (without asking) & carry her off across to another register, showing her off to other co-workers & customers & holding her on her hip. The mother seemed to be fine with this & smiled, proud to let others oogle over her little baby. I however, felt like if that was my baby, there would be a phone call to the police because I would be throwing punches.

After we left the store & got into the car I told Bill how I felt. I also mentioned that I was very afraid of feeling like this when we get home from the hospital & his family comes over. I told him that I knew it was stupid, but you can't control feelings, you can only control actions (I promised there wouldn't be any violence). I love his family to death, but it makes me wince when I think about comming home with Logan & having someone else hold him, telling me what to do. All I want to do is get comfortable, settle in, figure things out for myself (I'll ask if I have questions) & have special "new family" time. Fortunately, Bill seemed to understand what I was talking about. Durring one of these conversations, his sarcastic remark was, "You don't want to be told what to do? I never knew that about you!"....Yeah, thanks.

With his parents living hundreds of miles away, it's not going to be possible for them to be at the delivery or even be there the first week that we are home. They made flight arrangements for the middle of February & will be here for just a weekend. My sisters won't be here until the following month durring spring break (not like I think they are going to "take over" anyway). Bill's sister lives about an hour away, so she most likley won't make it to the delivery & possibly not even until the weekend (depending on when he's born). So these are situations that I don't even have to worry about. I can't help but feel a little crazy for feeling like this though.