I'm starting to get really nervous now.
It's just the fear of going through something significant for the first time. I know what to expect, but if it's anything like pregnancy itself, nobody can really prepare you for it. You just have to go through it & experience it for yourself. It's getting to the point where I'm doing visualizations at night before I go to bed. I lay there thinking about everything thats going to happen, step by step, as I want it to happen. I guess this is a little mental prep & hopefully putting a positive spin on things in my head.

I started to get nervous when I realized that when I was in for my prenatal appointment last week & was told that I could have a "cervical stimulation" done the next visit, she was talking about stripping the membranes. I know I've been a little mentaly slow durring pregnancy, but Jesus, I hope I have it together enough that I can make good health care decisions on the spot. Thank God I've had this week to read up on membrane stripping. It's a little invasive, less than pitocin & other inductors, but not 100% effective either.

Stripping the membranes involves separtating the amniotic sac from the cervix without rupture. The intent is to "jump start" labor within 48 hours to 7 days. Sometimes it doesn't work & continued strippings are done the following weeks, which increases the risk of infection. It seems that this is a routine practice at 38-40 weeks to reduce the risk of going post-term & needing additional inductors like pitocin & the possibility of also needing a c-section. Which is a little backwards in thinking because when it doesn't work, the uterus can contract irregularly causing a long labor & the need for medical inductors, epidurals, forceps, vacuum extraction & c-section are typically increased. It all depends on how the cervix is changing & most studies say that if it works, it's because labor was going to start soon anyway.

I don't want to go post-term (for various reasons...my size/baby size, c-section, lower amniotic fluid, lower functioning of placenta), but I also don't want to increase my chances of needing medical intervention. It seems that there is a fine line here. I'm going to try some natural inductors at home this week, like exercise (like I haven't already been doing that. Maybe I'll walk for 2 hours instead of an hour), nipple stimulation & maybe if Bill has enough energy after work, well...we'll see what happens. If my cervix has changed considerably, then maybe I'll go for it. If not, maybe I'll wait another week.

*Update*
Bill just called & asked "So, are you really ready to have the baby"? (Um, no. I think I'll let him stay in there forever). He had talked to one of the NICU nurses from the hospital that works out at his gym (she's going to hook us up with all sorts of extra stuff while we're there at the hospital). She told him to speed things up, walk a ton (check), have sex (I guess Bill is going to drink a Thermo on the way home), & then he asked if I wanted to drink Castor oil. Oh my God, NO! First, that's just gross. Second, I DO NOT want to do anything that's going to make me more miserable than I already am. I think I'll be able to tough it out a few more weeks if it comes down to that. "Please, not even for me?" he says. Who's having this kid anyway? I mean, I know work is really tough for him right now & he really needs a break, but for cryin' out loud. It's my colon at stake here. He just gets to kick back at wait for the trip to the hospital! Man, sometimes I wish guys could be able to get pregnant & deliver a big baby.