Thursday, January 05, 2006

It's been a quiet week & I feel like I'm just waiting.
Waiting for Bill to come home from work (he's been working 68-70 hours a week now that it's January. Gotta love New Years resolutions at the gym), waiting for Logan to get here (I thought he might be comming early, but now I've changed my mind. He's going to be right on time), just waiting for something to happen. I suppose this is a test on patience. A quality that I needed to severely improve on.

I was never really a patient person & wanted everything to If I wanted to move, I wanted to do it right then. If I wanted to go to a certian school, I wanted to start the next day. Bill & life have taught me better. It's a good thing too because if I'm not going to be patient with Logan, I'm going drive everyone, including myself, nuts.

This pregnancy has made me more patient & mellow. I'm not as quick to tell people off anymore. There was a day that if someone irritated me, they would know from some kind of look or comment. I had a sharp tongue with Bill when we argued. I used to have really bad road rage as well. Now I drive like a grandma, if someone says anything out of line, it's ignored & the last time I freaked out on Bill was before I knew I was pregnant (but everyone else, including Bill knew) & hormones were out of control.

Last night we were watching something about the first nights home with the baby & how parents aren't really prepared for what's going to happen. A mom with her 3 week old baby had been talking about the lack of sleep & trying to calm her crying baby. "My husband & I were up reading books & on the internet trying to figure out what to do". "Thats going be be us", Bill says. "We're going to be up yelling at each other to go look it up on the internet". I thought about it for a minute. "I don't think so. I think we're going to be just fine. I guess I'm expecting the worst & if we get it, I'm not dissapointed. But if we get better, then that's just great. I really don't see us yelling at each other though". I just figure we're both going to be tired & what's the use of getting all bent out of shape over the two of us not having the experience of dealing with a newborn. That's where being patient is really going to come in handy.

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