Monday, January 09, 2006

On Saturday I sat down & read "On Becoming Baby Wise".
It was given to me by Bill's mom when they were here over the holidays. I felt that it was good for me to read because as a first time parent, I have no clue what to do (much like other first timers, I guess). Some of my concerns before reading the book were, how do I get Logan on a schedule? What exactly am I going to be doing all day long? When & how is he going to start sleeping through the night? This book seemed to help with some of the answers.

The book talks about three parenting styles. Hyperscheduling, Attatchment or Demand Feeding & the books philosophy, Parent Directed Feeding. In hyperscheduling, you feed the baby every 4 hours, no matter what. It sounds like a baby boot camp style & that's certianly not going to fit our family. The book mentions how this can be dangerous by inducing dehydration & limiting your childs growth. Demand feeding is just that. Looking for hunger cues & pretty much offering food whenever the baby cries, looking at other possiblities last. Parent directed feeding is a combination of the two. Feeding the baby every 2 1/2 to 3 hours (sometimes more or less), or flexible scheduling & learning about parental assesment. When the baby is crying, taking a minute to asses the situation to best suite the babies need. It makes sense to me.

The book also had a sample schedule of what a typical day would look like:

Early Morning: (7am)
1. Feeding & diaper change.
2. Waketime: Rock baby, put in play pen, etc.
3. Naptime.

Mid Morning: (10am)
1. Feeding & diaper change.
2. Waketime: Take a walk with baby, run errands, etc.
3. Naptime.

Afternoon: (1pm)
1. Feeding & diaper change.
2. Waketime: Bath, sing, read, etc.
3. Naptime.

Midafternoon: (4pm)
1. Feeding & diaper change
2. Waketime: Hang out with baby as you read, sew, watch T.V., etc
3. Naptime.

Late Afternoon: (7pm)
1. Feeding & diaper change.
2. Waketime: Family time.
3. Naptime.

Early Evening: (10pm)
1. Feeding & diaper change.
2. Possible waketime
3. Bedtime.

Late Evening: (1am)
1. Feeding & diaper change.
2. Bedtime.

Middle of the Night: (4am)
1. Feeding & diaper change.
2. Bedtime.

These times are approximate & the goal is to be flexible, not watching the clock. But it really gave me an idea of what to expect in a day. I felt pretty good about the philosophy & some of the other things talked about in the book, like co-sleeping. We were thinking about getting a co-sleeper (not having him actually in the bed due to the risk of SIDS). After the book & really thinking about that situation, we're changing our minds. I don't think anyone would get a good night's sleep (as Bill & I flip a lot, plus I would probably watch the baby all night instead of sleep) & breaking the habit of kids in the bedroom is a pain in the butt. The main intention of co-sleeping was to make it easier getting up in the middle of the night. Laziness is not the best intention for the family. So we're getting a matress for his crib on Wednesday.

I didn't realize when reading that this book was pretty controversial in theory & that it was also written with religious intent. Most of the book makes sense to me, but I will be reading other parenting style books to get a wider view & better opinion on what to do.


Reesh said...

Co-sleeping is not just about convenience for nightly feedings. It's about bonding with your baby and making them feel safe and loved at all times. When babies first arrive they are born with primal instincts mainly telling them that they need to feel loved all the time. My aunt and uncle co-slept with their little guy and after their baby was a couple of months old they would put him down for naps in his own bed in his own room so he got used to it. When it was time to make the transition it was actually pretty easy.

Just some other thoughts on co-sleeping for you to ponder...

Love your blog.


Kristin said...

Thanks Reesh!
I've been lurking on your blog for a little while & love it as well. I hope things are going OK while you're on bed rest. I know how hard it can be being a couch hostage. Bill & I were talking about co-sleeping again at dinner last night. Who knew that we would have so many decisions to make durring pregnancy!? I told him that I might sleep in Logan's room or end up getting the co-sleeper. I guess we'll know what we want to do when he's born.

Traci said...

Hi, I saw your website and liked the schedule idea. I do have a question that might seem a little odd. I have a 2 1/2 week old little girl (of course she's adorable!), and I'm trying to figure out the feeding/diaper changing part of the schedule. I usually feed her for a few minutes after she wakes up on one side (5 to 10 min) then she usually falls asleep. I burp her, and then change her diaper which wakes her up so I can feed her on the other side. I am wondering if there's a better way, since she usually spits up a little when on the changing table. I have tried to change her diaper when she wakes up, before the feeding, but she gets furious! If I feed her and then burp her she doesn't wake up for the other side, which is why I've resorted to changing her in the middle.

Any ideas? I'm a first time mom too.