Thursday, June 21, 2007

It's a deal
When Logan was just a few months old, I felt like a prisoner in my own home. We had just moved into our new house & been there less than a year. I didn't know any other moms in the neighborhood, then with Bill's work schedule, I felt like a single parent on top of it all. I remember one afternoon Bill came home from work mentioning that he had stopped by the store on the way. I burst into tears because I had been left out of buying screws. Yeah. I cried over screws.

We moved to our "new" town to be closer to Bill's family (yeah, that's working out really great...) & to live in a smaller, friendlier community. Right away, Bill had plans to go to a concert with Uncle J. I was livid that once again, I was left at home all alone. Really, I was angry because he was going out but I had nowhere to go to. I couldn't get away even if I wanted to. That was the night where Bill said, "You need to make some friends" (which really pissed me off). That was the night I looked into joining MOMS Club.

Since joining The Club, Logan & I are always doing something. Baby showers, playgroups, meetings, walking groups, MOMS Night Out, the list goes on. It got to the point where the roles were reversed. Now, Bill was at home with nobody to hang out with.

Soon, he started making friends with some of the guys that he works with. Now they make plans for Dudes Night Out. This is the time where Bill goes to movies that I would never in a million years watch (like Grindhouse) or do "guy stuff". Their standard Dudes Night Out is going to Geeks Who Drink.

Now, we feel like there's a great balance without any resentment. I go to MOMS Night Out, have a beer or two & talk about Mom stuff with a bunch of friends; Bill goes to Dudes Night Out, has a few beers (& shots on top of that) & answers trivia questions (his absolute favorite) with The Guys.

It's an awesome "deal" that we've made with each other & I'm glad this is one part of life that we have balanced. Plus, it's fun!


Liz said...

that sounds like a great balance!

i went through the same thing when henry was small, i felt so isolated and lonely and it was like nothing had changed for kris-- he went for beers, to movies, to concerts, and i was just stuck at home with the baby and no shower.

and then...i found my moms. and thank god i did!

girl from florida said...

You are awesome! It's great to hear of a couple having fun and being cool with one another going out- that shows that you're totally confident in your relationship & yourself. I think a lot of other women can learn from that! I have some friends who absolutely cannot hang out without their spouse, it's kind of strange to me (like, "I would love to come to dinner, but husband is working so I'm going to sit home and wait for him.")

And I totally cried one day when Amelia was a week old and H went swimming with Tom and I was breastfeeding... I was livid and so envious!! Silly now :)

The Bents said...

I'm still going through a rough time like that so I can totally relate! With the second wee one here I NEVER and I mean NEVER EVER get to see any of my friends.. much less get time alone to even go grocery shopping is like pulling out teeth. LOL I'm sure things will change though. I need to follow what you've done!

Mert said...

Cool that you worked out a compromise for the both of you! I think its really important for parents to have time out together and time out alone too. I go to movies sometimes by myself just to have me time and down time. I always come back refreshed. :D