Tuesday, March 18, 2008

The first half is an odd time
The experiences & feelings that I have during this pregnancy are almost identical to how I felt when I was pregnant with Logan. There are a few nuances here & there, but for the most part, it's a familiar life chapter. I'm finding myself anxiously waiting for the 20th week bench mark (or there abouts) because the first trimester & some of the second trimester is such an odd time for me.

Hyperemesis aside, I almost don't feel pregnant. I'm still in my pre-pregnancy clothes, I don't have a baby bump (thus the lack of pictures), I'm not far enough along to feel the baby move yet. I've got nothing but a few body changes & 11 weeks of feeling like death. Even though I'm only 13 weeks into this (& technically in my second trimester), I'm having a hard time connecting with this nameless, unknown baby inside of me. Sometimes I forget that I'm pregnant. I felt exactly the same way in my last pregnancy. This is why it is so important to me to find out if we are having a boy or girl.

I need a pregnant stomach to rub & hold. I need a name to associate with. I need to feel the interaction of kicking, hiccups & somersaults. I need a nursery to decorate rather than passing by an empty room. Otherwise, I just feel like my body has been abducted by aliens or I've developed some sort of chronic health condition. It doesn't seem real until these things happen.

It seems kind of silly to keep wishing time to pass so quickly since this is (or should be) my last pregnancy. I'll be at the end of this before I know it. I guess when I actually feel pregnant, I won't want the experience to be on fast forward.

2 comments:

Jaime said...

It's coming but I totally understand. Hopefully you'll feel that movement soon. For me, after my first child, I felt movement much sooner.

I hope you don't mind but I've tagged you for a me-me. If you're up for it details are on my blog. =)

Dawn B said...

All of those wonderful things are right around the corner. Seriously, before you know it it's over. And about what jaime said, you will feel movement much sooner! I felt Natalie at about 15/16 weeks. So, you just never know! lol Just enjoy the non-baby bump because it will pop out quickly..overnight even. lol