Thursday, May 01, 2008

Catching up
Clearly, No-Naps is not working out. Which brings me right back to square one. No-Naps, strict routines, relaxed routines, early bedtime, late bedtime, restricted nap lengths, sleep as long as you want nap lengths...we've done it all.

With strict daily schedules (which is what we've been doing since the day Logan was born) worked out great until toddlerhood, where it became a power struggle. The more I tried to take control of a situation with the "I'm the Mom & what I say goes & you have no pull in the situation" kind of attitude, the more Logan resisted & the more frustrated we were with each other.

Then we tried relaxed routines, where I gave up the control & tried working together more, offering options & choices. Offering choices of two, talking about consequences, letting Logan make personal choices (Dora or Blues Clues? Applesauce or yogurt? The gym or the park?). While it worked out occasionally, he frequently responded with yelling "NO!", temper tantrums ensued & there was no reasoning with him.

Early bedtimes resulted in another power struggle over actually getting to bed & if he did sleep, it resulted in an even earlier wake time (4:30-6:00am). Late bedtimes yielded similar results - early wake time (you would logically think it would be later wake time).

Sleep as long as you want resulted in late bedtimes, which produced more bedtime battles. Restricted nap length resulted in increased temper tantrums due to being overtired (& being two). No-Naps has left him flat out tired, often crashing on the couch, the car (during every car ride) & today, has resulted in a 10:30am nap that is still in progress.

This morning while getting ready, Logan got into trouble (surprise) & he ate most of the grapes that we just bought yesterday at the store, while the rest were squished onto the newly mopped floor (this is why I don't even bother cleaning anymore). I sent him to his room for time-out. He ended up crawling into bed & promptly passing out. I tired to wake him up to get ready to go to school, but he was out cold. I even trimmed his fingernails while he slept, which I've NEVER been able to do before. The boy is more than tired, which might explain why he woke up at 6:30 this morning in the most terrible mood ever. Bill even thought this was unusual (I told him this is typical & goes on all day long - he just never gets to deal with it as frequently).

Needless to say, he missed school today. I'm just going to let him sleep as long as he will. It's catch up day today. Hopefully this will get him back on track. Where do we go from here? I have no idea, but I guess I'll figure something out.


Smurfett said...

You've probably read the Weissbluth book already, did it not help at all either?

Jaime said...

I'm not sure about your schedule or how you work things but have you tried a bath before bedtime? Sometimes that seems to help my kiddos wind down.

It definitely sounds like he is overtired and I know how bad that can make little tempers. ;(

Jezer said...

Oh, man. That sounds like a lot to deal with. Mommy-ing is not easy at all, and there are so many different factors that always come into play.

And that is where I'm going to jump in with some assvice (feel free to just delete this now if you really don't want any input--I TOTALLY understand, but can't help myself because my first degree is in Early Childhood Education, Birth to age 8):

Consistency is key. Unwavering, never giving in, always predictable consistency will cure a lot of problems. It is so hard to do with a very busy lifestyle like yours, but a few weeks of absolute routine will probably do wonders. A 2-year-old is way too young to quit naps, and there's got to be a routine for that too.

You'll be using time-out a lot while re-establishing whatever routine you decide on. Maybe moving time out to a more neutral location will be helpful (and if Logan is anything like Al, you'll be right there to put him back on time-out when he decides to sling the time-out mat across the room. Fun Times!).

I apologize if this sounds bossy, but I've been through some of these same things, and I'm just throwing some things out there that have helped for us.

Also, have you searched any of's archives? She's a wealth of knowledge on the baby/toddler/preschool years.
Good luck.

Dawn B said...

I came back to post a response after reading your blog earlier and I don't think I can say anything better than jezer's "assvice". It's the best assvice I've heard ever. lol
And I'm only going to add one more thing and only because Logan and James are the same age... we stay home most of the time and manage to get out sometimes but even still it is SO HARD to keep a routine. I see it this way..any child that needs naptime makes the situation that much more difficult to plan a whole day around. We never know from one day to the next how long of a nap they need and even sometimes, the time of the nap can change depending on so many factors that we sometimes can't control (appts., if they're sick, blah I do know this..with them being 2 they need to be awake 10-12 hours out of the day at most. Usually anything more or less is trouble. So, don't push yourself over the edge here with trying so hard. Because he'll dig his heels in even harder to stick for what he wants every time you get stressed or even if you raise your voice (you'd think that would work right???). Easy for me to say..gosh don't I know it. LOL There are many a times where I let James get the best of me and I would walk away. Go back. And we both would calm down and things would somehow work out.
Anyway I have rambled on way too long. I love jezer's advice and I stop there.

Kristin said...

The suggestions are helpful, but to give everyone more info - I'm posting daily details (schedules, techniques, etc). I'm basically purging everything from my head to see if someone can sift through it & find the needle in the haystack solution (or maybe it's as obvious as an elephant in the kitchen).

This way I can see (& anyone else) where there may be inconsistency, etc.

And nothing is viewed as Assvice unless it's been written with the tone we all know....and no worries Jezer! Your comment was not even close to assvice :) I'm also going to check out the link to see what I can find.