Celebrating the day my life really started
I've been thinking a lot about what Mother's Day means to me. My first inclination was to associate it with accolades of a "job well done". A day of appreciation for waking up when Logan cries, for making sure he eats healthy & well, reading books all day long, taking him to the park to play & not losing my marbles when he has a tantrum. It's also nice to think about having a specific day to recognize the sacrifices a mother makes for her family, like the lack of showers, sharing her own meals with a curious child & being subjected to children's TV programming. While mothers everywhere are celebrating with flowers, cards, special brunches & spa packages for things they do on a daily basis (& would do regardless of any holiday), I realized what Mother's Day really means to me.
It's a celebration of when my life really started.
Motherhood has changed me in so many ways & continues to each & every day. My life was never as fulfilling as it is now with a family. I used to wake up, work & go to bed, only to start the whole cycle all over again. It was an empty, boring & meaningless life. Bill & I were married, but it didn't feel like it at times, often missing that deep bond that we were longing for. It took Logan & my new role as a mother to really change my life.
To me, Mother's Day signifies the beginning of life. Not just Logan's, but mine as well. One of the biggest gifts that motherhood has brought me (other than Logan, of course) is the ability to feel on a much deeper level than ever before. I've often mentioned how motherhood has turned me into an emotional sap, where I cry at everything. Motherhood has given me the ability to feel actual feelings again & I'm no longer emotionally dead to myself & the rest of the world. I have deeper compassion for others & their experiences. Since having Logan, I cry when I hear about tragedies in the news, where before I only just felt sad. I cry when I read another mother's birth story. I just feel everything, from joy, fear, sorrow & love. Motherhood as added a depth of emotion that I don't think I could have discovered in any other way.
While it may be nice to receive gifts & acknowledgment from friends & family, today I celebrate myself. I'm thankful for what I've accomplished, what I've learned & what I need to strive for to be a better Mom. Today I celebrate the beginning of my life & all the gifts that motherhood has given me.