Monday, March 27, 2006

Sheesh, even when I'm a stay at home mom, the weekends go by so fast!
It was a pretty eventful weekend. We did some shopping & got some stuff for Logan, of course. We took the stroller, but this was the first time he was Mr. Fussy Fuss when we were out & about. I had to hold him the whole time we were walking around. He loved it & everyone at the mall did too. I'll have to remember the sling next time we go out. He's such the social butterfly when we're in public. Especially with "grandma types".

I talked to Bill about how I had been feeling the last few days. There is one thing that irritates me to no end about pregnancy & parenthood. It's the fact that everyone sees it as a right for them to be the most opinionated & judgmental person that they can be. Pre-pregnancy, most people don't talk to you or even notice you're there. Now that there's a baby in the picture, it's a comment free for all. Why do people think it's their business?

For the most part, I love the comments & opinions. They're very helpful. What better way to find out about the best baby products & "tricks of the trade"? It's just the judgements make me want to pack my bags & move to a secluded island with a coconut phone. I told Bill that I couldn't believe that my parenting skills were even in question & that I had to prove myself. I told him that I was really angry with myself for not giving me enough credit. For calling myself "crazy" & thinking that post pregnancy hormones ruled all of my gut feelings. It was a good lesson in understanding that the "mommy detector" is real & it works. If my "mommy detector" tells me that something is not quite right, that someone IS IN FACT TRYING TO TAKE OVER, I will listen more carefully. I told him that with these last events, I'm really nervous about the next family visit. We agreed to all have a talk to make sure this gets cleared up in the next few weeks.

Nobody ever said that being a mom was easy. They also never really elaborated either. It's difficult because of physical effort, like sleep deprivation, but we all know that. Really, it's the emotional stuff that nobody prepares you for. You're often warned & scared to death about post partum depression & it ends there in conversation. Your emotions go way beyond that though. Being a parent changes you. You discover new things about yourself & new feelings that you never had. It really is an adjustment. I often think about this time as a "new chapter in my book of life". It is, but it's more comparable to a complete transformation. Much like a caterpillar to a butterfly.

3 comments:

Canadian Mommy said...

I may not *know* you, but I have been reading your blog. You are a GREAT mommy, because you love your little guy so much. That is all that matters!

suzspeaks said...

I agree with Beth! I wish that someone would have warned me about all the emotional ups& downs too. I went through a very rough time myself. It is hard & a major adjustment...

Hang in there!

Kristin said...

Thanks Ladies :)
I was thinking, "Hey, I'm the one who gets to hang out with him all day, so there! Suckers!"

As much as it sucks that people who read my blog know what kind of mom I am & the in-laws don't (or mayber now they do, but didn't think so before)...It just makes me want to be that much better. It's also made me think about how I need to stand up for myself at times. I get to say, "Because I'm the mom, that's why!"