The evolution from a couple to a family
This is something that I've been wanting to write about for a long time. I've put it off, thinking that I needed more life experience (even if it was a matter of months). Now I feel like we are just getting the hang of the transition & I'm a little more qualified to put in my two cents.

I never imagined how challenging it was to start a relationship as a couple & magically morph into a happy family. It's a complex concept. It's not just the couple, or unit that makes a transformation, but each individual is changing in that same moment.

Change is hard. It's something that we usually fight & resist because we aren't comfortable with something new & different. We like our safe, predictable lifestyles & responsibilities. We tend to cling on to familiarity. When there's a shake-up, even if it's a planned shake-up, it's still change. It's something that we don't control. It's still uncomfortable, even in it's most amazing miracles of life.

I've said it before & I'll say it again: Becoming a parent helps you to become a better person. You see your faults as they are. You learn about your strengths. You become motivated to make life more enjoyable now that there's a little person here who's going to live it right there with you. These are good changes. Great, in fact. But it still doesn't make it easy.

As individuals in a relationship change, even for the better, the relationship itself changes. You are essentially becoming two different people who shift the relationship to accommodate that evolution. This to me, is one of the most uncomfortable changes that happen. What you once knew, is no more. It's something different. It's foreign. It takes some getting used to. Maybe for us, we didn't even know it to begin with & we are now just learning what it's all about.

Today I realized how painful & difficult this evolution is. However, it dawned on me that nothing good in life comes easy. The most wonderful things in life take blood, sweat & tears to obtain. It takes heavy digging in the trenches, the real hard work. I got a surge of joy & excitement knowing that right now, at this moment, we are facing those challenges head on. The end result is going to be beautiful.

We started our evolution almost two years ago with a positive pregnancy test. The first nine months were lifestyle changes. After Logan's birth, we got to a deeper level. There were personal changes. It seems that the next phase is the continuation of those personal changes but now moving to a depth that's at the core. The heart & soul of our family.

I was totally unprepared for the types of changes our family would go through. I nievely thought that it would be just a lifestyle change. I thought we would go out less, stay home more, understand that there would be different & added responsibilities. There would be more life stress knowing that we have a son to take care of, making sure he has everything he needs. The pressure to not screw up is intense.

I knew that our marriage would be different. I knew we wouldn't have the "fun" that we used to have, going to concerts regularly, spending money frivolously, wasting time like it was nothing.

I did not anticipate the personal changes we would go through. The better people we would try to become. I did not know how those changes would create a deeper respect & love in our relationship. I did not know that we would have to learn about our new selves, our new marriage & our new family.

It's hard work. It's challenging. But it's worth it.