When I'm upset, I do house work.
This morning I realized that I'm weird. I guess it's not a new realization, but more of a confirmation. I have been under the most unbelievable stress, the most stress I've ever been in almost all of my life. There's the financial stress, the stress of selling our new house, the stress of being in isolation at home all day long, the stress of dealing with a teething, gassy baby who doesn't seem to need any sleep to function & the effects of all of this stress on our marriage. It's been one rough ride.

For some reason when I'm upset or when Bill & I have an argument, I clean the house. Without fail, we have words, I unload the dishwasher. Bill does something that infuriates me, I do laundry. We bicker & I'm in the kitchen with Simple Green & a sponge. It's an automatic response.

The last few days have been hard on our relationship. Well really, the last few months, but especially the past couple of days. This morning I'm up with Logan (who decided to start his day 2 hours earlier than usual) & Bill wakes up & comes upstairs. "I saw our neighbor mowed our lawn for us". "That wasn't him. It was me", I said. "What? You mowed the lawn? Did you used to weed whacker too?". "Yeah", I say nonchalantly. "In all of our years, you've never once done yard work before", he says. "Well, I was really pissed & I wasn't about to ask you to do it". He laughs, "Wow. It looks much better than when I do it". Apparently when I'm irate, we have an immaculate house & really nice yard.