Giving first time Moms some credit.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. It's weighed heavily on my mind. There's one thing that first time Moms hear from almost everyone. They don't know anything about raising children or how to be a Mom. I'm calling BS.

I have to say, I'm pretty darn confident in my skills & role as a Mom. That's not to say I'm perfect, because I have made my fair share of mistakes. I cleaned Logans' umbilical stump too much & it hung on forever. I didn't know when to stop swaddling him (even though that worked itself out on it's own) & I underestimated his mobility abilities & he rolled down a flight of stairs. But you know, I'm human. Everyone makes mistakes in life, first time Mom or the Mother of 10. Other than my youngest sister (who is 11 years my junior), I've never taken care of a baby before. By no means do I call myself an expert on infants, but I do think I'm an expert on being Logans' Mom.

Again, this may be where my personality flaws come in. I've mentioned them before, but for those who forgot....I'm stubborn. Probably the most stubborn person I know. I'm a know-it-all. I know this bothers a lot of people. I don't like to ask for help. If I don't know something, I'll go figure it out for myself. I really don't like to look like an incompetent, ignorant person (I can only imagine how difficult it is to live with me). With all of these traits combined, along with common sense & Mother's intuition, I really think I know what I'm doing.

I've been told that parenting is a "guessing game". I have to disagree. This may have been true for past generations who didn't have valuable resources of information other than experienced family members. However, today we live in the "information age". We have the internet & we have the ability to connect with people all over the world. There are experts on breast feeding, infant care, sleeping solutions & much more, all right at our finger tips.

The internet is amazing. If there's anything I need to know, it's just a few clicks away. Yesterday, for instance. I've never cooked shrimp before. I love to eat it, but have never had it at home. I bought some to make for lunch. I didn't know how to cook it. I found a million recipes & tada! I'm having shrimp for lunch today. I've also learned that we have Gray Squirrels in our back yard & they love to eat acorns & pine nuts (Bill & I want to start putting food out for them). I've learned that there are 4 different types of spiders in Colorado (all of which I've found in our house) & that the "Brown Recluse" isn't common in this area, like I've been told. The "Black Widow" is the deadliest spider here (which we found in the house this last weekend). I've found all of these tidbits of information in the last week or so (this really doesn't help my know-it-all flaw at all).

When it comes to taking care of Logan, I've used the internet & my instincts. I really don't feel the need to call someone up (who the last time took care of infants was in 1980. Bet you can't guess who that is) & ask for their opinion. I feel like I can figure it out for myself. I don't think I'm the only first time Mom who feels this way either. Really, the days of being a "clueless Mother" are over. Life is all about learning & experiencing new things. I'm thankful that I live in a time where the availability of information & expertise make it easier.

Really though, my biggest gripe isn't that there's information readily available for us to do our own problem solving, it's that there is a huge mistrust in what nature installed in us. Instincts & intuition. There is something to be said about combining modern advances in science with "Mommy instincts" when it comes to raising children.

If there's one nugget of advice that I would give any new Mom, it would be, "Trust your gut. You know more about being a Mom than you think you do. Don't let anyone make you think otherwise". If you think your child is hungry, most likely...they are. A Mother knows her baby best. We know their body, their temperament, their personality. We know what makes them smile. We know when they aren't feeling well & we know what comforts them the best. It doesn't take researching the internet or advice from an experienced Mom to know these things.

I think it's time to have a different attitude towards first time Moms. I don't think it's fair to think of our inexperience in a negative light, saying that we don't know "anything" & feeling like there's reason to chime in with "advice". Sure, there's a lot we don't know. But there's a lot we inherently do know. It's time to encourage Mothers to trust their instincts & give our generation of first time Moms some credit.